fandomhigh | Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Was Lucifer standing at a reasonable distance from the teenagers in his class? Yes, he was. Were they standing in the Danger Shop, set to a particular Los Angeles police office Lucifer would not mention the name of? Yes.

Around them, there were people. Frozen in time.

"Cops," Lucifer began. "Pigs. The fuzz. The bill, if you wish, the heat, the man. If you are going to be involved in law enforcement, you'll have to deal with them. I know, I know, I doubt some of you are eager to do so, considering, but it helps to know the types."

Types, yes.

"Generally, we find cops in four different guises," he said, sitting down on the desk behind him. He gestured towards the stern-but-dopey-looking Hispanic man behind him. "First, there's the Dan," he said gleefully. "Grumpy, earnest, boring, occasionally prone to a bit of corruption on the side."

He slid away from 'Dan', and wandered towards a young woman with a winning smile. "Then there's the Ella. The Ella is delightful. She jokes, she gossips, she brightens up the day, she's a unicorn," he said.

He turned away from 'Ella' and gestured towards... a really generic-looking brunette. "Now, your... ... ... Zoe, is a by-the-books type that needs to be coaxed into letting her hair down, but who has a fundamentally good heart to the point of madness."

"... and then finally, you've got your generic officer," Lucifer said, clearing his throat. He nodded towards a tall woman with set shoulders and an eager look in her eye. "She likes donuts. And she's.... around most of the time, I'm fairly sure."

A pause.

"Today's exercise will be to get to know them," he said, "Nothing more irritating than turning up to a crime scene and realizing you've no clue how to wrangle your cops, no?" His grin was a little feverish. "Go on. Bother them, not me."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

At a distance.

Prompto Argentum

Jack Two

Del!

Edited 2019-09-09 16:32 (UTC)

Eleanor Shellstrop

Gratuity Tucci

Nell Ingram

Illyana Rasputin

Lana Beniko

Elisabeth Scrivener

If you can call it that.

Del listened to the lecture and then brightened and sat up, looking expectantly at Ella. She sank down in a pout a few moments later.

That woman was not a unicorn.

Lucifer clapped his hands, and suddenly everyone in the entire office began to move.

The Dan managed to look both intent and confused at the same time as he sorted through some piles of paper over and over again.

Edited 2019-09-09 15:44 (UTC)

The other three cops seemed to be... somewhat energetic. Or at least more energetic than Eleanor. And Dan seemed to be a bit on the dim side.

So Eleanor just wandered up to him, gave him a one-fingered salute with her index finger and said "What's up, dog?"

"I'm... sorry," said 'Dan', squinting at her. "I think we have to throw you in jail for that."

Lucifer's Dan impression was bad enough when it was Lucifer actively doing a Dan impression. His Danger Shop version was even worse.

"Is that so?" Eleanor trying to do her best perky and cute act that usually got her out of speeding tickets. "On what grounds Mr. Officer sir?"

"Being... rude. It's very illegal," said Dan.

Frowning seriously.

Edited 2019-09-14 16:55 (UTC)

"Oh. Shirt. That's illegal?" Eleanor gasped as if she was on some day time drama. "Well, fork. What do I pay? A fine? Or is it slap the cuffs on me and throw me in a corner?"

'Ella' seems to be bopping to her own beat as she looks through some... are those x-rays? Sure.

Nell quietly made her way over to Ella and watched what she was doing for a moment. Then very politely, she said, "Can you explain to me what those are?"

"These? They're X-rays," 'Ella' said cheerfully. "That guy totally broke that other guy's wrist in like, the weirdest way."

Nell looked at it curiously. "What makes it a weird way?" she asked. "That it's broken, I mean."

Lucifer very rarely knew what it was Ella did, exactly, besides be delightful.

"The shape is funny," 'Ella' said, nodding seriously. "Someone really whacked this guy in multiple places."

"Must'a been awfully annoyed with him," Nell said. "So, how long have you been doing this sort of work?"

Yeah nah, Del's still sitting there glaring at Ella like her existence is a personal betrayal of everything good in the world.

'Zoe' is a generic brunette who somehow manages to look heroic in every pose she strikes.

God, why is she striking poses in the middle of the station?

Lana felt a sort of kinship with Zoe for no apparent reason, and went over to have a word with her, her steps slowing as she got nearer.

Why was she striking poses?

"Is that useful?"

"I'm a superstar cop," 'Zoe'... explained.

That was definitely a Timothy's Seraphim pose she just struck, yes.

"A superstar at...?" Lana had her doubts.

"...Being a copy," 'Zoe' said brightly. "Obviously!"

"Right." Lana nodded. "And that involves...being pretty?"

She was pretty sure there was more to it, even on Earth.

She's... very good at scowling?

She's also eating donuts.

This is where Lucifer's attention span might have started to fray a bit.

Look, if Illyana had to deal with a cop -- who'd probably shoot her if they knew she was a mutant -- she was going to deal with the one with food.

...by walking past and taking a donut out of her box to see if she'd notice.

Just do it at a respectable distance.

NPCs are moddable (within reason, but assume they're such massive caricatures you don't have to worry about characterization), or you can poke me here for an NPC!

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday

Sign In!

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Talk to the Cops

'Dan'

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'Ella'

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... 'Zoe'

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Generic Cop

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OOC