Detective Rosa Diaz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
died8yearsago) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2019-09-06 05:57 am
died8yearsago) wrote in fandomhigh2019-09-06 05:57 am
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Bad Ass Bitch Survival Guide; Friday, First Period [09/06].
It felt like ages since Rosa had taught this class, which was weird, because the last time Rosa had taught this class, she didn't want anything to do with it, and now there was a part of her that was actually looking forward to it, and it was super weird and kind of gross and she didn't really like it, but also, like, her classes were totally bad ass, enough that it was almost cool?
Whatever. Either way, it made her feel too many things, and that was just lame, so she was definitely phoning it in today to avoid accepting or dealing with any of them.
So she came in late, chugging the last of her coffee, tossed the empty cup into the wastebin by the desk, and sighed, giving the class a lookover. "Okay," she said. "Bad Ass Bitch Survival Guide. The way I see it, you're probably in the class for one of three reasons: you thought it sounded cool, you're being forced to take it, or you know who I am and know I'm awesome. Either way, there are worse ways to spend your Friday morning. There are also a lot of better ways, too, and the first week is always the worst, so we're going to make this pretty qucik so we can all just get out of here. The first week is usually about introductions, so your teachers can get to know you and your classmates, but, honestly, I don't really care. I probably won't even remember. So we're not going to bother. We are going to bother, though, with being someone we aren't today."
Rosa turned to the board and wrote "SONIA RAMIREZ" in big letters.
"That," she said, turning to the students, "is the most recently added secret identity, and I don't mind using that here because I actually got it from one of those weekends where you wake up as someone else, so some people here have even met her. That's a thing, by the way, for all the new faces I'm seeing, weekends where you wake up as someone else. They're super fun, and, if you're lucky, won't screw you over when you turn back to normal. But Sonia here likes to use her meek and mild disposition to grift people, and she's the reason I've got to be careful if I'm ever out near Reno again. She's got papers, legal documents, which means I can go anywhere in the world as Sonia Ramirez and do practically anything without it coming back later and even touching Rosa Diaz. She's got a background, she's got goals, she's got real estate in Cancun. Having a solid alternate identity," or three...or a dozen.... "can come in handy, it's been crucial to my surival in a few instances, as well as the survival of others. And not just for throwing off creeps at picnics.
"So, here's the thing. Each of you has about five minutes. Gimme a good secret identity. Convince me you're someone you're not. If it's believable enough, you can go. Any questions? I mean, it's not that hard, and now you're just wasting time. So if you're ready, let's hear it, and let's get out of here. Literally none of us want to be here right now, especially me."
Rosa pulled out the chair of the desk, sat down, and kicked up her feet, arms folding, occasionally checking her watch and looking bored, like this was the longest five minutes of her life, although she knew these were always pretty great.
Oh, what a difference a year could make.
A whole. Goddamn. Year.
Whatever. Either way, it made her feel too many things, and that was just lame, so she was definitely phoning it in today to avoid accepting or dealing with any of them.
So she came in late, chugging the last of her coffee, tossed the empty cup into the wastebin by the desk, and sighed, giving the class a lookover. "Okay," she said. "Bad Ass Bitch Survival Guide. The way I see it, you're probably in the class for one of three reasons: you thought it sounded cool, you're being forced to take it, or you know who I am and know I'm awesome. Either way, there are worse ways to spend your Friday morning. There are also a lot of better ways, too, and the first week is always the worst, so we're going to make this pretty qucik so we can all just get out of here. The first week is usually about introductions, so your teachers can get to know you and your classmates, but, honestly, I don't really care. I probably won't even remember. So we're not going to bother. We are going to bother, though, with being someone we aren't today."
Rosa turned to the board and wrote "SONIA RAMIREZ" in big letters.
"That," she said, turning to the students, "is the most recently added secret identity, and I don't mind using that here because I actually got it from one of those weekends where you wake up as someone else, so some people here have even met her. That's a thing, by the way, for all the new faces I'm seeing, weekends where you wake up as someone else. They're super fun, and, if you're lucky, won't screw you over when you turn back to normal. But Sonia here likes to use her meek and mild disposition to grift people, and she's the reason I've got to be careful if I'm ever out near Reno again. She's got papers, legal documents, which means I can go anywhere in the world as Sonia Ramirez and do practically anything without it coming back later and even touching Rosa Diaz. She's got a background, she's got goals, she's got real estate in Cancun. Having a solid alternate identity," or three...or a dozen.... "can come in handy, it's been crucial to my surival in a few instances, as well as the survival of others. And not just for throwing off creeps at picnics.
"So, here's the thing. Each of you has about five minutes. Gimme a good secret identity. Convince me you're someone you're not. If it's believable enough, you can go. Any questions? I mean, it's not that hard, and now you're just wasting time. So if you're ready, let's hear it, and let's get out of here. Literally none of us want to be here right now, especially me."
Rosa pulled out the chair of the desk, sat down, and kicked up her feet, arms folding, occasionally checking her watch and looking bored, like this was the longest five minutes of her life, although she knew these were always pretty great.
Oh, what a difference a year could make.
A whole. Goddamn. Year.
Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/06.
She could probably even tell the whole truth and have it be perceived entirely as a lie.
"Well," she finally decided, "I'm Awls Nenkur," and she did feel particularly smug about that particular choice of house name, not that anyone in this room would understand why it was so brilliant, "though I don't think I should have to tell any of you that. I'm sure my reputation precedes me."
Was she maybe tapping into a little bit of Seivarden to pull off a certain haughtiness and self-importance? Perhaps. She couldn't really help it, right down to mimicking her ridiculous accent.
"You might even be wondering what a Nenkur would be doing in a place like this, but," she laughed, gesturing dismissively, "if you must know, my mother actually believes it might get me to settle down and stop squandering away our house fortune. It won't work, of course." The smile she gave was so smooth it nearly made even her own stomach turn, especially now that she was trying to channel up a little Raughd Denche. "But I'm not about to tell her that any time soon."
Re: Introductions - BABSG, 09/06.
And if the goal with her identity was to make her teacher physically ill, she was hitting it right out of the damn ballpark.
"Ugh," said Rosa, because she couldn't help it. And was tempted to just tell Awls here to just get on out of here, but, because sometimes her sadism came with a side of masochism, too, she asked, "So here's a question for you, Awls. What are your thoughts on tea?"