fandomhigh | Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/22].

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Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/22].

Summer knew she was taking a pretty big risk here. Some might say it was a stupid risk; others might claim it was better than she deserved. This class this session had been quite the ride. There had been uprisings; there had been claims of war crimes; even when she tried to throw them a bone and did something normal, things still got heated.

She really couldn't think of a better way to close out her brief stint as a Fandom High teacher, so, in a way, she supposed this was her gift to the poor saps who had to suffer through this class...and yet still kept coming back for more.

"Alright, you guys," she said, "this is our last class ~~I think?~~, and it's going to be a good one. One of the things I've tried to embrace in this class is creativity, and that's what today is all about. Today, you guys are going to make the recipes. You have full range of the pantry, you can mamke whatever you want, and I will eat whatever you make. There are only two rules: 1) It must include bananas and 2) No inorganic or non-edible stuff. My stomach has been exposed to a lot of weird stuff, believe me, but I am still only human, okay? Feel free to ask for help if you need it, or help each other, but that's pretty much it. You'll have a certain amount of time to prepare, and then I'll try everyone's dishes. Is revenge a dish best served cold? I don't know. You tell me. Let's get started."

Ohhhh, she really, really hoped she didn't regret this, but, at the same time, if she didn't regret this? She was going to be terribly disappointed in these guys.

[[ ocd ~~on the way~~ is up! ]]

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So, how do you feel about bananas now?

Wayne

Nina

Vette

Shuri

Free range of the pantry and the kitchen to really put all your banana cooking skills to the test! Or just talk amongst yourselves about never wanting to see a banana again in your entire life. Whatever floats your boat.

They got to come up with their own recipes?

"Ohmygosh," Nina said gleefully, heading straight to the pantry to figure out what they had and what horrible, horrible thing she could create.

And, from certain other peoples' reactions to her idea of cooking, Nina was pretty sure whatever she made would be a lot more horrifying to other people than it would be to her!

Amazing!

Wayne stood there for a moment in thought after they were set loose on the kitchen, arms crossed, eyes squinting, expression grave with a pensive frown. A faint flinch, as he considered some of the monstrosity some of his classmates were about to unleash upon the world, and then a faint nod as he came to his own conclusion. He turned sharply before setting off to the pantry to get what he was going to need: flour, baking powder, sugar...

Vette would like to point out that she wasn't only not from this planet, she wasn't from this galaxy.

And so maybe she could be forgiven for combining bananas and banana peppers in her attempt to make a glorious spicy-sweet dessert pizza?

Look, she'd enjoy it, anyway. And she wasn't even putting extra hot sauce on it!

Summer's got a bottle of Pepto-Bismol on hand; she is ready to this!

Don't disappoint her.

And when he was finished, Wayne took a moment to keep the importance of presentation in mind before going up to Ms. Smith, setting down his dish, and giving her a firm nod. Then he stepped back, crossed his arms in front of him, and stood there stiffly in the expectation of the assessment to follow.

And Summer eyed Wayne like he was a human bomb about ready to explode as he brought over his dish, quirking an eyebrow at the vagueness of a ping that was clearly designed for narrative structural purposes and suspense. Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she picked up her fork and tentatively dug in for a bite.

And then, confused, went in for another.

A third definitely confirmed it.

"Wayne?" she asked. "Are these just normal banana pancakes??"

Edited 2019-08-22 12:30 (UTC)

"I don't believe it's right..." Wayne declared, lifting his chin in marginal defiance, "...to intentionally serve a person... bad food."

His eyes narrowed, squinting pointedly.

"No matter how much they deserve it."

"Wayne." Summer sighed, shaking her head a little, but also taking another bite of those pancakes, because those were really good pancakes, and she knew pancakes. "You are seriously one of the weirdest people I have ever met."

And that said a lot, Wayne.

A lot.

Anyone with good sense and an idea of how Earth cooking usually went would likely be cringing when Nina went and fetched two absolutely heaping piles of spinach and a cup of sugar.

And nothing else.

After some thought, Nina went back and got a single egg.

Then she pulled out a wok and a large pot and got to work. Though, uh, work mostly seemed to involve crossing her arms and tapping her feet impatiently, as if waiting on some invisible counter to tick down, when she then exploded into action, tossing what looked suspiciously like rice in that wok and stirring what looked like stew in that pot.

Never mind that Nina didn't have any of the ingredients for those things and wasn't making either of those things.

Further questions were definitely liable to arise when it became clear that the smell of apples baking was absolutely coming from her cooking station. With cinnamon. When she had neither of those things on hand. Or had added them.

And yet.

As she got her presentation down pat, plating up an absolutely gorgeous looking apple-banana-strawberry gratin (where had the cheese come from? or the breadcrumbs? or the buttermilk? how had it gotten baked?) and serving it up with perfect vanilla ice cream and a few sprigs of mint.

It was all going to taste exactly like how it looked.

The fact that she'd made it all with nothing but a wok, a pot, a single egg, a cup of sugar (that hadn't gone near the ice cream!), and a ton of spinach was…

Er.

Yeah.

Look, she could have made something terrible, but Nina had wanted to prove that her way of cooking really did work so there.

Nina, what.

Summer had been watching the girl work with a sort of fascinated revulsion, mostly rooted in the fact that anything involving bananas and a wok, as well as spinach combined with that much sugar was guaranteed to be...a pure hot mess.

And yet, what was presented to her was....anything but.

"What kind of black magic fuckery is this?" she asked, and took a bite.

"This is actually really good, Nina," she enthused after swallowing, though she sounded so, so confused. "I have no idea how it's any good, but, I mean, hey. Props."

Not what she had been expecting to eat, based on the assignment and the recipe, but, hey, she'd take it. She'd much rather be eating this, however it came to be, than what logic and reason suggested she would be eating right now.

It was a hell of a lot more creative than banana pancakes, too.

Edited 2019-08-22 14:38 (UTC)

And yet, despite the fact that it was apple-banana-strawberry gratin… Nina hadn't added any of any fruit in there. How had it happened? How had it showed up? How had it worked out? What had happened to the spinach?

"That's just, like, how we cook in my world??????????????" she said, beaming. "I mean, like, I know it's not a monstrosity, but I figured, like, it'd be something different????????????????"

And, really, the true monstrosity was how it had all come together to work anyway.

Considering how Nina's outrageous claims about cooking were still there, right under Wayne's skin and rubbing the wrong ways, he couldn't help paying a little more undue attention to what she was doing. He knew he probably shouldn't; it was impolite, and a man should mind his own fucking business, but once Nina went for that egg....it was over.

He tried to focus on his own work, but his squinting, suspicious glare drifted over more often than he would have liked to admit it. The longer it went, though, the more he started to feel a sense of smug satisfaction, smirking to himself as he flipped his pancakes, because, sure as God's got sandals, all Nina was fixing herself up for right now was a mess. Oh, getting yourself an egg there, Nina? What'cha gonna do with that egg, Nina, make yerself some fucking ice cream?

And then...

She did.

The indignant sound that escaped Wayne the moment he got an eyeful of what Nina had put together could only be described as strangled, scandalized, and surprisingly high pitched.

Sure as God's got sandals? Well, now Wayne wasn't so sure at all, because, clearly, there was no God.

Like, Nina had been kind of hopeful she'd get some sort of reaction from him. (She'd totally decided to make a good dish just to spite him!)

But she was going to be the bigger person, Wayne.

So Nina was going to pretend, resolutely, that she hadn't heard him (she totally had) and that her look of delight had nothing to do with his squeaky strangled noise (it totally did) and just revel in the fact that she'd proven him wrong.

So there, Wayne!

Chocolate sauce and bananas and banana peppers and strawberries on a pizza with melted marshmallows and just straight-up black pepper on it... What could possibly go wrong, right?

"There's also the option of adding extra hot sauce," Vette shared, "but I know human tolerance isn't anything like Twi'lek, so I decided I'd have mercy on you."

"I appreciate that, Vette" said Summer. And, since she knew all about how BDG couldn't even stand chocolate anymore thanks to Twi'lek spice-related incidents, she really, truly meant that.

And she really, truly appreciated the monstrosity before her, as well, right up until the point where she had to actually consume it. Now this...this was what she was expecting with this assignment today and it was beautiful and horrible all at once. Nina's had shown promise in this regard, really, until it was finished and was all of a sudden something else entirely, something it really, truly shouldn't have been.

Summer picked up a slice and took a tentative bite.

"Well," she concluded, still holding the pizza with one hand while reaching for her glass of water with the other, "that is certainly an experience."

An experience that involved roller coaster of moments that went from 'you know, this isn't actually that bad' straight into 'ohgodwhyyyy???,' then right back up again.

Vette looked so proud.

"Anything you can't finish, I'll have," she offered brightly.

Because she saw you sweating there, Summer, and she hated to waste food.

"Oh, you can have it," Summer assured Vette. "Believe me."

She did take another bite, though, determined to at least finish this slice, just so be able to say she had.

"Actually," she amended, "I think I might take a little more, just to go. I've got a friend who I think will love this."

You said you wanted leftovers, BDG. You gonna get leftovers.

Mwhahahaha.

Hahaha.

Shuri had done research, Summer, just in case this joyful day ever came (and also because she like to scar Okoye with white people food when she least expected it).

"Enjoy," she said sweetly, pushing a bowl of terrifying stew over to her. "It's called Major League Rhubarb."

She had no idea what rhubarb was and that showed in her pronunciation.

If Shuri had produced anything less disgusting that this, then that would have been the biggest disappointment of all. But as Summer was staring down into that bowl and seeing the results of everything Shuri had been grabbing and putting into her dish, she almost felt a weird sort of pride. It was horrifying, yes, but it was also, in its own way, beautiful in its offensiveness.

Summer nodded a little as if in approval, which contended with the pursing of her lips and the shake of her head at the fact that she was actually going to put this in her mouth, but she picked up a spoon, braced herself, and gave it a try.

Immediately gagged, tried to act like she didn't, then forced herself to swallow it down. The texture of that rhubarb alone!

"Nine out of ten," she concluded. "I think it could really use some mayonnaisse. I'd say well done, Shuri, but..."

She could not bring herself to comment on this with anythingn remotely positive, no matter how sarcastic or ironic.

Assuming she doesn't die.

I am going to really miss this class. XD

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Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/22].

Sign In - RR, 08/22.

Re: Sign In - RR, 08/22.

Re: Sign In - RR, 08/22.

Re: Sign In - RR, 08/22.

Re: Sign In - RR, 08/22.

Cooking! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Cooking! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Cooking! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Cooking! - RR, 08/22.

Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Re: Present your Dishes! - RR, 08/22.

Talk to Summer - RR, 08/22.

OOC - RR, 08/22.