fandomhigh | Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/08].

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Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/08].

Summer was definitely in a weird mood today, her brow pretty much permenantly knitted into a thoughtful furrow, as she was still trying to process a lot of thoughts and emotions about last night. If anything, she hoped this class could be a nice distraction, but, with how it had been going recently, she was just in no mood to deal with it.

"Today we're putting bananas in meatloaf," she told...warned?....them. "And if that's too much for anyone's delicate sensibilities," you're goddamn right she was looking right at you, Wayne, "well, then, I know you know how to find the door. This one's got to take some time to bake, though, so we're just going to get right into it."

[[ so the ocd is ~~on the way~~ up! have at it! ]]

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Like you're about to put bananas in meatloaf.

Nina

Wayne

Shuri

"Meatloaf is actually pretty easy," Summer started. "That's kind of the point of meatloaf, it's just a squishy amalgamation of some form of meat and a binder to help it maintain that oh-so-tantalizing meat-log shape. For this recipe, the bananas are going to work as both binder and lovely garnish, so we've got lots of bananas on hand. We're going to want to take about two of them and mash 'em up real good. And then we're going to mash that mash in with our mashed meat, onions, salt, pepper, and bread crumbs. Once that's all mashed together in a beautiful mess, we're going to add mustard and mix that in, too. Now, this is where people can get a little crazy and mix in all sorts of condiments and vegetables and stuff: ketchup, barbecue, worcestershiree sauce...some people add carrots, mushrooms, brocolli, like their kids won't notice that shit in their meatloaf...but we're just keeping it simple to the original recipe and that means mustard, apparently.

"Anyway, once you feel your meatloaf is nicely mixed together, we're going to form it into a loaf-like shape into one of these pans, we're going to add two strips of bacon to the top for more flavor, and then pop her in the oven to bake. Which'll be a bit, I know you can't wait to try literally just bananas mixed with meat and mustard, but you're going to have to. Don't worry, though, I've got something else to help you pass the time."

Edited 2019-08-08 10:48 (UTC)

Was this horrifying?

Yes, yes it was.

Was it also hilariously great?

Yes!

Nina was less certain about eating it, but making it was definitely happening with a giggly sort of glee.

"Okay, so, we've got to wait a bit for the meatloaf to bake," said Summer, "but that's okay. Because sometimes, to make truly horrendous things with bananas, you don't even need anything else. All you need is a banana and a knife, and you can create beautiful banana art that's sure to be a wonderful conversation piece at your next little shindig. Banana art, you may ask? Why yes. Yes, indeed. I'll show you."

Because, hey, just because there was no marine life on the island right now didn't mean they couldn't solve the problem with some banana dolphins, right?

Or maybe you were more in the mood for a banana duck car?

And who could forget man's best friend, the banana dog?

"Go ahead and give it a try yourself," and be haunted forever by the faces on those banana dolphins, "or, if you can think of some other thing to make out of a banana, go for it. We've got plenty of time to kill before the main event is finished."

Since it was International Day of Worshipping Cats or something (Alexa was a little garbled), Shuri made her best attempt at a banana panther.

It looked not at all like a panther.

"We're not quite done yet," Summer warned the class once the timers went off. "We still have one more step, and that's taking some banana slices and putting it on the top of your meatloaf. Then, take this baster and use it to suck up some of the juices and then just baste the top of the banana slices with the meatjuices," now there was a phrase, "and then just pop it back in the over for about fifteen more minutes. Plenty of time for you to think of your best presentation, because presentation is important."

But once those last fifteen minutes were up, she was expecting to see some real masterpieces, you guys.

"This is a crime against Bast and man," Shuri declared, "and I have no idea what that goo was that I was basting it in. I'm pretty sure it's the juice of bacon and the tears of my ancestors."

Summer's mood had progressively gotten better as the class went on ~~and the person typing this had more coffee~~; who knew making wheels for a banana duck car could be to cathartic?

And behold, the recipe that inspired this whole class, and the moment where I finally peg the blame on Fry, because she's the one who sent that to me.

And this morning I found someone made a vegan version, so I don't even have an excuse not to try this, but I bet you anything that vegan version is a million times worse.

\o/ NOT EVEN SORRY.

This class is hysterical and awesome and I read it every week, and Shuri's reactions (and Wayne's) are also a delight!

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Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/08].

Sign In - RR, 08/08.

Re: Sign In - RR, 08/08.

Re: Sign In - RR, 08/08.

Re: Sign In - RR, 08/08.

Listen to the Lecture - RR, 08/08.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - RR, 08/08.

Banana Art - RR, 08/08.

Re: Banana Art - RR, 08/08.

Present your Meatloaf - RR, 08/08.

Re: Present your Meatloaf - RR, 08/08.

Talk to Summer - RR, 08/08.

OOC - RR, 08/08.

Re: OOC - RR, 08/08.

Re: OOC - RR, 08/08.