Magnus Burnsides (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
magnusrushesin) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2019-08-01 07:08 am
magnusrushesin) wrote in fandomhigh2019-08-01 07:08 am
Abridged Sex Ed, Thursday, Period Three
Class wasn't missing today! But Magnus was incessantly humming a song as he wrote some words on the board.
"Sorry everyone about last week. I super failed that constitution check and had to do some death rolls, but it all worked out in the end," Magnus said brightly. "Way better than my last brush with death."
"Is your Underworld filled with naked, writhing people too?" Don't ask how she knew that, just don't.
"Yeah, actually?" Magnus said, looking super concerned. "And glowy light balls. And my buddy might be dating Death, I think."
None of this had to do with STI's, but okay.
It provided a good thematic segue. "Unless you'd also like to date Death, let's talk about how you can avoid the clap.
"I don't think Taako has the clap," Magnus said very, very quietly. "But having sex without protection is like going into battle with a shield! Unless you're tested or monogamous with a person or persons who are."
Cara...actually very rarely used a shield in battle. Oops. "While only some of these diseases are lethal, you'll probably wish for death with some of the others."
"We have pictures!" Oh god, why.
To traumatise the class, obviously. "You're not going to get a lot of offers if your junk looks like this. Not one's you're going to want to take, anyway."
"Sorry everyone about last week. I super failed that constitution check and had to do some death rolls, but it all worked out in the end," Magnus said brightly. "Way better than my last brush with death."
"Is your Underworld filled with naked, writhing people too?" Don't ask how she knew that, just don't.
"Yeah, actually?" Magnus said, looking super concerned. "And glowy light balls. And my buddy might be dating Death, I think."
None of this had to do with STI's, but okay.
It provided a good thematic segue. "Unless you'd also like to date Death, let's talk about how you can avoid the clap.
"I don't think Taako has the clap," Magnus said very, very quietly. "But having sex without protection is like going into battle with a shield! Unless you're tested or monogamous with a person or persons who are."
Cara...actually very rarely used a shield in battle. Oops. "While only some of these diseases are lethal, you'll probably wish for death with some of the others."
"We have pictures!" Oh god, why.
To traumatise the class, obviously. "You're not going to get a lot of offers if your junk looks like this. Not one's you're going to want to take, anyway."
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1. Syphilis
2. Gonorrhea
3. Chlamydia
4. Herpex simplex
5.Human papillomavirus
6. Hepatitis B
7. Trichomoniasis
8. Pubic Lice
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