fandomhigh | The Mid-Century Cookbook; Tuesday, First Period [05/21].

Entry tags:

cooking

The Mid-Century Cookbook; Tuesday, First Period [05/21].

Was Summer pretty stoked that the recipe she had in mind for this week could in a way be considered thematic to the flooding outside? Maaaaaybe. She had considered picking something that was a little more in tune with all the water, but, nah. This one was perfect. Just enough of the sea in it to tie things in without being super obvious and hitting you over the head with it. Because there were about a million jello-related casseroles that involved criminal amounts of canned tuna and mayonnaise that she could whip out, but that would just be expected.

This, however, she was pretty sure no one would see coming.

"Morning, everyone!" she greeted the class brightly. "I regret to inform you all that, out of all the places being flooded over right now, this kitchen is not one of them, and so, lucky you guys! You get to make another awesomely bad recipe, this one from the '60s, that I'm sure you're all going to enjoy. It doesn't even involve gelatin and it's not something trying to masquarade as some other food, either. Nope, this is unabashedly and proudly its own horrible monster. It's...."

She dramatically removed the clouche on the dish on the counter in front of her so they could peer upon its awesome glory.

"Prawn Stuffed Apples! Let's get started, shall we?"

[[ and ~~wait for~~ the OCD is up! ~~please!~~ thank you! ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Let it be known just where you can stuff those apples.

Okuyasu Nijimura

Shuri

Summer was going to just forge right ahead with the instructions for them to follow along with, though she will, of course, happily field any complaints. Feild them, yes, and then deftly either ignore them or maneuver past them.

"We're going to start with our apples," she explained, holding up one of those super-waxy but incredibly red Red Delicious that were just perfect for something like this, "and chop off the tops, then start scooping out the insides to hollow them out. Because we can, I have an apple corer on each station to help you out with the core and the pips and all that stuff, but try to keep as much of the meat of the apple in tact because once our apple...shells, I guess, are all hollowed out, we're going to dice the insides of the apple and set it aside for later use, sprinkling a little lemon juice over the diced apple and the apple shells to help keep them from discoloring. Because presentation is important, we wouldn't want it to wind up looking gross, right?

"Now we make our filling. First, we've got a few other things to chop up nicely: a couple of pickles, a nice handful of olives, and the shrimp. And once those are all niiiiice and chopped up, we're going to toss that into the bowl with the apples, where none of those things have any business in being. And since we can't just let them be satisfied with their own disgusting juices, we're going to add some dressing: three tablespoons of mayo," at least it was measured in tablespoons this time, and not cups?, "one teaspoon tomato paste, a sprinkle of some fresh parsley, and a dash to Tabasco. Like, probably a whisper of Tabasco. We're already dancing with the devil here by even considering that much spice, I'm sure.

"Now, give that a good mixing, maybe take a moment to mash up any pieces that are still a little big from the chopping, and that's all there is to the filling. We've just got to go ahead and scoop it into our hollowed out apples. Mmmmmm! Nothing like gutting out a perfectly good food, mixing its guts with an unholy combination of other things, and then stuffing the new abomination right back into its original skin!

"And I know this already looks, like, super appetizing and I know you can't wait to dig right in, but we're not quite finished yet. We've got to top it off real good. By taking a skewer, piercing it with exactly one olive and one whole goddamn prawn, and then, ploop!, right there in the top of the stuffed apple."

She looked on the finished product almost adoringly with how truly awful it was. And, just because she couldn't help herself, she had a tiny little felt top hat that she plopped on top of that poor prawn's head.

"Now that is a horrendous dish that's truly ready for a night on the town."

Okuyasu made a face.

"...I'm beginning to regret taking this class," he said.

He then stared at his apple, and decided to do this the dumbest way possible.

He summoned The Hand and swiped with just a finger to just... erase a hole down into the apple.

"....beginning to?" Summer asked, head tilted curiously.

And here she was pretty sure they hit that last time.

She did, however, manage to keep a mostly straight face and not allowed the sheer beam of pride leak out toooooo much.

"I didn't think fake pineapple made of meat could get worse," Okuyasu said, chopping up his filling ingredients. "But now we're putting apple and olives together and I think I am creating something that would make my friend Tonio cry."

He didn't want to make Tonio cry.

"I would suggest sending him a picture," said Summer, who didn't even know Tonio but seemed to have no problems with making him cry; in fact, she would take it as a compliment if he did, "but then I remembered you're from the dark ages, and it wouldn't be that easy."

Seriously, how did people even live back then?

"But," she added, on a more serious, thoughtful, almost teacher-like note (she thought, anyway), "the combination of salty and sweet flavor profiles is actually a very common one, and I think the whole idea is that they're supposed," emphasis on the supposed, "to compliment each other in that regard."

"I suppose I could mail him one, but that seems like a lot of effort to hurt someone who's doing me a huge favor," Okuyasu said.

Okuyasu side-eyed his teacher for a second. "...you're doing this all on purpose, aren't you?"

And that side-eye earned him a lift of Summer's eyebrows in return. "If you're just catching onto that," she said, "you should really be paying more attention in class."

She was so not even trying to hide this fact, but maybe her evil was even more subtle than she had anticipated.

Or they were just too distracted by the vileness of the food to notice it in the person forcing them to experience it...

There was another option: Okuyasu was just kind of dumb.

He let out a noise of dismay. "Hey, I pay plenty of attention in class!"

He did... sort of.

"Well, this is a horror show," Shuri declared, adding a good tablespoon on Tabasco. If she burned off her taste buds, that would make this class easier, right?

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" said Summer, who was probably doing herself no favors when it came to convincing her students she wasn't really a psychopath. But she laughed, in a way that suggested even she herself couldn't take that seriously. "Can you just imagine being at a swanky cocktail party and then the host pulls out these bad boys? It'd be a hell of a conversation starter, right?"

"It's the hat that really makes it special," Shuri said, snickering. "I imagine a great many of the conversations being about places all of your guests suddenly remember needing to be."

Summer had to chuckle a little herself. "It's clearly a very fancy party sort of dish," she offered, "so the food should reflect the venue. And I feel like that would be a good way to either weed out who your real friends are or get rid of a lot of the ones you don't care for much anyway."

"Prawn apples: the friend test of cooking," Shuri said. "I should put some out in the common room and see what happens. For science."

"Ohmygod," said Summer, "if you do and bring back hard, preferrably video-recorded data, I will give you a million extra credit points.

"...for science."

Edited 2019-05-22 11:29 (UTC)

"I shall do it, then!" Shuri said. "For science."

Top hats optional.

But here's a chance to show off your unholy creation and maybe, just maybe, if you really want to impress and disgust Summer all in one, maybe even give yours or one of your classmates or Summer's a try!

She'd considered a little cane for the prawns, too, but that just seemed overkill.

Steve was dressed for his class in the water today--so swim trunks that were a little too short and a shirt in his preferred size of smedium--and swung by Summer's class for a quick snack.

Well, until he saw what it was today.

"Dear Lord."

Between that and Dr. Lecter's very polite avoidance of taking home a pineapple last week, Summer's ego was going to be inflated toward near evil supervillain status if this kept up.

"Hiiii, Steeeeeeeve!" she said, beaming with sheer pride over that reaction. "Come to see what we've whipped up this week?"

Here, she'd make it easier for him, too, grabbing one on a plate and holding it up for him like it was a goddamn blue-ribbon pie or something.

"You seem a little too excited about this creation," he said. "I'm worried."

You should be.

"They have little hats, Steeeeve!" she pointed out. "Also, you should know that my excitement about any given dish in this class is directly correlated with how horrified the students are. I'm almost worried I'm breaking them in too quickly, and they'll be completely unaffected by any of this stuff by the time it's all done. And I'll be so proud of them, but I'll also miss the precious expression of 'ohgodwhathaveidone?' on their faces."

This class was, for better or for worse, really bringing out the Sanchez in Summer. She liked to think her grampa would be proud.

Steve burst out laughing. "I'd worry about you but I've seen some of our other colleagues and this is still pretty normal."

It wasn't, but Steve had a weird sense of normal.

This post brought to you by this but with prawns. <3

One of these years I'm gonna remember to be all 'Hey I'm going to Acen too!' before actual Acen.

I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN IT HAPPENS.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Mid-Century Cookbook; Tuesday, First Period [05/21].

Sign In - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Sign In - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Sign In - MCC, 05/21.

Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Class Activity - MCC, 05/21.

Present your Prawns - MCC, 05/21.

Talk to Summer - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Talk to Summer - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Talk to Summer - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Talk to Summer - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Talk to Summer - MCC, 05/21.

Re: Talk to Summer - MCC, 05/21.

OOC - MCC, 05/21.

Re: OOC - MCC, 05/21.

Re: OOC - MCC, 05/21.