fandomhigh | Problem Solving and You!

The same tavern that students may have grown to love was there once again. The same NPCs (all voiced by the DM), the same not real ale, the same giant d20 die just looming in the corner, looking for a fight.

"I've totally had this exact nightmare before a live show," Magnus said, staring at it in horror.

There was a time Cara, who was holding an extremely large and expensive looking book, might have questioned such a statement, but now she knew better. "Today's class is about class." Don't look at her, she was too busy trying to make sense of this book. It had a lot of number tables in it.

"And probabilities!" Magnus added. "God, I hope that thing doesn't crit on you kids..."

He just damned you all.

In her efforts to read the book, Cara had managed to turn it completely around. Several times. "So class is a fancy way of saying your job."

"Like me," Magnus said. "I'm a fighter. And a little rogue. But i mostly forget about those skills because I can just punch something to death. And Cara is... I wanna say also a fighter?"

"I don't see Mord'Sith in here, so probably." That's because it was a home-brew prestige class. A really, really fucked up one.

"Huh. It should be, though." Thanks, Magnus. "So, everyone tell us what your job is. And maybe how it works!"

Then slowly, so very slowly, the d20 tilted and rolled over. You couldn't actually see the top, but if you could, you would've seen a twenty.

Thanks, Magnus!

In his defense... Here came the punching part.

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Or job. Probably job.

"This feels like an uncomfortably extreme level of self-awareness," Keyleth said, "for some reason. I'm a druid? I can tell you that much."

The more genre-savvy in here would have guessed that from the animal transformations already, Kiki.

"But... but you.... You don't just cast truth spells and forget to heal your dying teammates?"

YOU LOST MAGNUS, KEYLETH.

"Forget to heal my -- why would I do that?"

It was a mutual loss, Magnus. LOOK AT HOW SHOCKED SHE WAS BY THAT VERY IDEA.

"I sorta thought maybe all druids were like that," he admitted.

"What kinds of druids do you know?"

Keyleth might be getting a little bit of a hysterical edge in her voice now.

"I mean. Technically he's a cleric, but he's, like, super into Pan. So it's basically like being a druid."

Merle could never meet her.

"That is . . . not the same thing." Aaaaaand Keyleth was scowling a little bit now. Uh oh. You just poked at her deity issues, Magnus. "My magic, the source of it, doesn't have a thing to do with the gods."

You're being a nerd, Keyleth. There's a lot of crossover between the cleric and druid spell lists, so it kind of looks the same.

"Yeah, but you both talk to plants." He took a moment to shudder at the memory.

"Anybody can talk to plants, though," Keyleth objected. "They may not necessarily know if the plants talk back, but the plants will appreciate it anyway!"

Not the point, Kiki.

"Well, I"m a Prince, of course!" said Sidon brightly, proudly, with the requisite enthusiastic pump of his fist to go along with it.

No, he didn't really understand what they were asking.

And, no, he probably wouldn't have answered anything else even if he had.

"And the way it works is that I lead and protect my people to ensure the longevity of our race and the success of our Domain, until I have the auspicious opportunity to then become King!"

It was...like leveling up!

Maybe he understood this better than he'd realized.

"Get any cool powers with that?" Magnus had to ask. "Extra actions maybe?"

"Mmm, quite the opposite of extra actions, actually!" Sidon realized after he'd taken a moment to think about it, but he didn't sound too put out about it. In fact, he chuckled a little. "The King is expected to remain at the Domain at all times, which is not particularly difficult, since, by the time he becomes king, his size is quite formitable to match the incredible weight of his position! Which is why I certainly hope there will be a good, long while before I ascend to such a title, as I very much enjoy my current ability to pursue any adventure that may be available to me!"

That, and the whole part about it meaning his father would be dead, too.

"Oh my god, I wanna fight you so bad once you become king." Magnus, no.

Well, Sidon wouldn't likely get to be king for at least a hundred years from now, so that fight would either make Magnus a very old man or possibly a zombie. But either way...

"Now there's a fight I will look forward to with relish, my good sir!"

Sidon, no.

Edited 2019-04-04 16:36 (UTC)

...don't go stealing his sunshine, logic.

"Heck yeah!" Magnus said, offering him a high-five.

A...moderate-height-five, anyway, but Sidon was never one to leave someone hanging.

Yeah! Moderate-height-five!

See you in a hundred and fifty years, possible future undead skeleton teacher!

"Um," Tip said. "Kind of . . . a mediator? I guess? Or . . . something that does stealth."

She'd saved her Earth with cats and then did her best to make sure no one ever knew about it.

"Is 'diplomatic espionage' a thing?"

"Maybe a bard?" Magnus ventured. "Yeah. A bard who doesn't give shitty motivational speeches!"

. . . Admittedly she had basically used a shitty motivational speech to get her best friend elected as the first President of New Boovworld.

"I thought bards sang."

She super was a bard then!

"You can. Or you can play an instrument. Or you can be like Brad in HR who uses the power of motivational speeches and posters of an eagle with the word 'soar' below it."

"That's a bard?"

Tip had always just assumed that person was a dick. Though, she supposed, one could probably be both a bard and a dick. . . .

"Fucked up, right?" Wait. "I mean fudged up, right?"

Tip laughed. "Totally 'fudged' up," she agreed. "What other sorts of classes are there?"

"Well, you could be a wizard and have spells anf stuff. Or you could be a cleric and be really bad at healing people." Very specific answers, Maggie.

"Um, Huntress, which is...a fighter but also other stuff?" Yang offered, confused. "Like, lots of monster hunting, and beating the crap out of bandits, but also stuff like refugee relocation, training village militias, and scouting and recon missions?"

Problem Solving and You! - Thursday

Talk About Your Class

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