fandomhigh | Culture Shock, Thursday, Period 2

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Culture Shock, Thursday, Period 2

You guys! Summer brought chocolates!

Like, a lot of chocolates.

SO many chocolates.

"Hey, everyone," she said as the class got settled. "Some of you may have noticed, today is an Earth holiday. Yes, another one. We like our holidays here. And this particular one, like most Earth holidays, is about one thing that eventually got blown up into some over-elaborate worship to capitalism and materialism. It's Valentine's Day, a holiday about showing the people you love, especially romantically, that you care about them, that has been totally usurped by companies in an effort to sell you chocolates and greeting cards, flowers and stuffed animals and jewelry. Which is why I brought you all chocolates today. Because I still have a literal butt-ton of these in stock at the store and they're all going on super-sale tomorrow anyway, so I figured you guys might like a chance to snag some."

Please take some chocolate. Please. She'll totally give you extra credit. You know. For this class that you're probably not even going to receive a grade in, anyway.

Kanan was... pointedly not looking at the chocolates. In fact, if Kanan ever saw chocolate again in his life, he was relatively certain he might die.

"Not all of you might be from somewhere with a holiday intended to shower your loved ones with heart-shaped paraphernalia," he noted. "But I imagine most of you at least come from a background that has some manner of..." He waved a hand around. "Courtship? Bonding?" A pause. "Some idea of romance, anyway."

Please bear with him. He was the one guy in the room who kind of didn't. Which was possibly why he was the one guy on the island who was panicking so damn hard about it now.

Meanwhile, Summer was the one person in the room with a divorce under her belt (hopefully!), and she'd even gotten that before she'd graduated! So these were clearly great people to be teaching on this topic.

"Just be glad," she said, "we're not referring to them as 'mating rituals.'"

Even if she just did.

"And in the spirit of romance, today, you guys are going to be trying out the time-honored Earth tradition of speed-dating. Three-minute dates. With each other. But we're not expecting you guys to woo each other, this is not that kind of class. You're dating…." Don't mind the wagging fingers in the air for effect, "for information."

"Basically," Kanan said, "you're going to get paired off and you're going to have a brief conversation about what you would be doing, or would be expected to be doing, if you were looking to fall into a romance with somebody where you're from. For example." He looked at Summer. "Hey. I'm Kanan. And where I was raised, I was actually taught to avoid romantic connections with people." A long pause. "Which is why I'm so damn hopeless right now."

He'd had a week, okay? He was sporting a half-week's worth of stubble with no proper beard to speak of, and his hair was a tousled mess that was a little too haphazard to be considered 'artful.'

Let him have this.

And Summer looked at Kanan...well, not looked at, because she didn't want to have to snort down a laugh if she looked at him, but she looked near him and nodded. "I'm Summer. Things are kind of all over the place romantically where I'm from, but, traditionally, most people aim for a relatively heteronormative monogamous pairing made official by either church or state or both, mostly for the purposes of tax breaks, health benefits, and having offspring."

She made marriage sound so appealing, didn't she? Listen. There was a reason for that divorce. You know, beyond her having been only seventeen and mostly just working out some issues over her own parents' divorce.

"So now it's your turn!" she turned to the students. "In the style of speed dating, you'll have three minutes to get whatever information you can about your classmates' cultural approaches to dating and romance, and when the three minutes are up, you'll switch and try to do the same with another classmate until we've got some bases covered. And then we'll do a nice little share and compare with what you've learned."

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Like your bestie just sent you five dozen roses to one-up you again this year.

... Or like he shaved his face and got a terrible haircut.

Why are these two in any position to be talking about this subject??

Find a partner, sit awkwardly across from each other at a table, and, in true 3MD fashions, find out all you can about their culture's views of dating and romance in approximately five posts each. And then get up, move to a different table, and do it all over again with someone new! Lather, rinse, repeat. It's like dating in the real world but streamlined!

What did you learn? Was there anything that stuck out as really different to you? Or surprisingly similar? Anything you could see yourself wanting to do instead of what you're used to or anything that would make you nope out without a second thought?

Share and compare! And be comforted by the fact that this crap is pretty weird no matter where you're from.

When they tag in!

Valentiiiiimes.

It was entirely possible Kanan was alternating between looking marginally queasy at the chocolates, slightly less marginally annoyed about his hair, or low-grade panicking over whether the mynock for the meal he's cooking for Hera tonight has marinated enough.

Total lost cause, this one.

Sabine Wren

"Okay, call me before you do this stuff."

First the hair color, now this.

Kanan managed to not look completely woebegone at that, so that was a step in the right direction, wasn't it?

"It only happens when I don't remember my current life," he complained. "I might have to start leaving notes for myself."

"Put a note on your mirror? 'Sabine will help.'"

And it'd probably save a lot of facepalming.

"The dye wasn't even done at my place," Kanan noted, grimacing. "But for those days when I feel the overwhelming urge to cut off all my hair..."

Shame he wouldn't be able to see the note in a few years.

You know, when she would be right there.

"Still, have it fresh in your mind," she said. "It could be worse."

Look, it would be symbolic. Of new beginnings and closing chapters and things coming full circle, and of just what a total dumbshit Kanan would be right up until the bitter end.

"'It could be worse,' has basically been my mantra for the week," he sighed. "Right along with, 'hair grows,' and 'half my missions are spent wearing a bucket anyway.'"

Also things like, 'I have regrets.' He'd thought that one a lot this week, too.

Not that she thought there was anything abnormal about the way they did things back home, but Sabine didn't talk about home much at all. Maybe she could ask more questions than answer any?

"That's basically what I tell myself every time I think about going really short," Sabine told him. "It's just hair. ...Also my Helmer's not a bucket."

"Your helmet is different," Kanan pointed out. "Have you ever put a Stormtrooper helmet on your head? It's like they took everything there is to appreciate about functional combat helmets, and then beat them with a hydrospanner until all the benefits were well and truly stripped away."

So: Bucket.

"No, I've just painted them," she said. "They're buckets."

Another reason Summer desperately wanted you all to take some of these chocolates: she was definitely going to wind up eating half of them herself, especially if any of the little discussions got particularly awkward. Second-hand awkwardness about things like romance and relationships was, like, top-tier entertainment. Maybe she should have brought popcorn instead.

"They're absolutely buckets. It's no wonder the Empire's troopers can't shoot blasters to save their lives."

Fortunately.

"And we're good with that," she nodded.

"Suits me just fine, anyway," Kanan agreed. "Makes our job that much easier, anyway."

Sabine modded. "Thanks for the IOU, by the way."

"Figured you'd appreciate it," Kanan replied, smiling crookedly. "I spent a full year stuck here before they managed to clear the portals for me. You might want to tell them to check for mynocks, but in the meantime, at least we can get you supplies."

"Thanks. Not that I've used up much since last time. Aside from the paint bombs I didn't know I had on me last weekend."

Sigh.

See Kanan.

See Kanan grin. A lot.

"So, how did that go?"

"Messily," she sighed. "It went messily." Luckily our room is already covered in paint."

And if her side of the room was a timeline, then she was leaving it on the wall.

Kanan chuckled a little.

"So, at least it wasn't a complete disaster. Makes for a memorable weekend."

And was still better than an ill-advised shave and a haircut.

""It was because I couldn't figure out my armor."

It was not better to get.

Kanan... was making a noise at that... that suggested that he was putting forth a very valiant effort... to... to not... just...

He coughed. It wasn't a laugh. He had a cough. Possibly some leftover chili in his throat from all the chocolate sampling yesterday.

"Well," he said, keeping a mostly straight face, "at least it was only the weekend."

Sabine crosses her arms and frowned at him.

And Kanan just gave her a sheepish grin right back.

He was still a Trash Cowboy. But even Space Dad Kanan would probably have difficulty not chuckling a little at that one.

Sabine just looked up towards his hair.

And Kanan's grin went that much more sheepish, yup.

Lana Beniko

Imperial and Sith traditions of dating were...pretty normal?

Well, when you didn't want to kill your potential partner. There were different traditions for that.

Keyleth

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Culture Shock, Thursday, Period 2

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