fandomhigh | A New You, Tuesday, Period Two

Today's class was not in a sewer! Weren't you all so pleased? Instead, it was above the ground, in the city, and you were all set up in a nice little tavern, with all manner of tavern patrons minding their own business, enjoying their drinks. Fjord was behind the bar, quietly wondering to himself if there was anything to the drinks that were back there. They sure as hell looked and smelled real enough...

He'd be disappointed.

"When last we saw our... heroes..." He cast a faintly dubious look at the lot. "... They had been told by Shovels the kobold that the reason they had been committing the dastardly act of digging holes in the dirt was so that they could set traps to keep the gnolls from adjacent cave systems from raiding their homes and eating their children. Yelden noted that the best solution overall would be to assist the kobolds, to help them keep their children safe. Some of you thought... otherwise."

It was amazing just how properly scathing a drawl could be when saying just that one word.

"It's been several weeks and none of you have heard a single damn thing from the kobolds since the sewers were sealed off, preventing them from escaping. The farmer on the outskirts of town is damn pleased with the results, though a few locals had begun complaining about strange sounds from below in the dark of night. Loud yipping noises, barking, snarling... Those noises only lasted a handful of days. Kobolds are small and crunchy and quite possibly taste good with ketchup, after all."

You were all monsters.

"Tonight, you're just enjoying a drink. Nobody in the tavern seems to be paying you any attention. Sit, talk, get to know one another. Discuss any plans you might have had going forward, back before you all got saddled with one another."

Sure, folks, you go right ahead and trust that.

[OOC: Open!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

About halfway through the class period, from outside, there suddenly arose a ruckus the likes of which hadn't yet been heard in this damn class. People screaming in the streets, the clashing sound of swords, the high-pitched giggling hyena sounds of gnolls...

What came through the tavern door was not gnolls. It was a trio of brightly colored, anthropomorphic dinosaurs, wearing piecemeal armor and splattered in blood and viscera. The big purple one, flanked by a smaller green one and a medion-sized yellow one, looked around the tavern with hunger in his eyes, gave another gnollish cackle, and then launched himself at the nearest table with a bloodthirsty, "I love you!"

Fjord's brow creased. That... wasn't what he'd attempted to program into the danger shop this morning, but... fine... he'd roll with that.

So, folks, as Barney rips a man limb from limb at the nearest table and a handful of Baby Bops and BJs ransack the town outside, what... do you do?

Jatila eyed those...things. Then raised her hands to hit them with lightning, remembered she wasn't Lana, and jumped over the bar to hide behind it.

Well, that was...unexpected. And oddly disturbing, for something that he figured was supposed to be cute in a way, from someone whose childhood involved a very awkward anthroporphic crow. But it was clearly out for carnage and blood, and so Seros figured he'd better get some use out of those ice spells of his and at least try to do a little bit of damage from a distance before some of the more capable fighters were able to step in.

Hoping the more capable fighters were able to step in.

Hooboy.

. . . yeah, don’t mind Yelden, or Keyleth for that matter, just pulling out her morningstar and starting to whale on the big purple dinosaur while yelling in a tight, strained, and faintly hysterical tone, “That is NOT how you express love! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

She had some frustrations to work out here.

Jatila peeked out from behind the bar, watched for a moment, then bellowed at the assorted people there, "Five credits on her to win this!"

A New You, Tuesday, Period Two

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