Cristina Yang (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deaddadsclub) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2018-11-27 11:40 pm
deaddadsclub) wrote in fandomhigh2018-11-27 11:40 pm
Entry tags:
Humanoid Health and First Aid, Wednesday, Period 1
"Oh look," Cristina said as the students gathered for class. "You all survived the holiday."
If she sounded disappointed, then surely that was in jest. Surely.
"Turns out Thanksgiving around here is just as boring as every other day on this island. How have none of you even managed to blow off a finger playing with fireworks or something? Come on. You're juveniles. Do something delinquenty!" She looked from student to student, then let out a sigh. None of these were the delinquent type. Well, maybe Hipster Spice. She was a weird one.
"Right, anyway. I guess we should cover another first aid topic. Have we done the Heimlich yet? You know, the thing where someone dramatically starts choking in a restaurant and their tablemates scream and then some dude runs over to the rescue to overdramatically perform one of the simplest and most bloodless first aid maneuvers there is?" Heart attacks made for much more entertaining restaurant emergencies than choking ever did. "Right. Well, in case you haven't gotten the gist by watching TV dramas, here's your basic Heimlich." An infographic appeared on the screen. "Here's one on someone who's unconscious. It's a lot like CPR, only you get to stick your finger in their mouth to try and fish out the expelled foreign object. Here's how to do it on a baby. Panicking parents not pictured. Aaaaand here's how to do it on yourself. Oh, and here's what you can do if your first aid kit is all fancy and has a specialized tool for 'dechoking'. Any questions?" She moved on without waiting for any actual questions from the class. "Here's one: what do you do if you try all that and it doesn't work?"
Uh oh. She was smiling. That meant there would be blood.
"Who wants to learn how to do a cricothyroidotomy?"
Come on, we know at least one student's eyes lit up.
"Usually known in layman's terms as a 'tracheotomy', this is that fancy maneuver TV shows love to whip out where the hero guy cuts someone's throat open and shoves a pen in it. Or a straw. Pretty much anything with a reasonably clean, open tube structure will do. It's a bitch and a half to repair and recover from, and super easy to screw up, though, so we're talking absolutely emergencies only. Like, the Heimlich didn't work and the ambulance is still five minutes out and the person's whole face is turning blue. In that case, here's how you do it." Cristina walked the class through the process step by step, even offering some advice on knife size and straw availability as she went. Then she hit a button on the Danger Shop controls, and the room went from "classroom" to "swanky restaurant", complete with muted lighting, clanking silverware, and waitstaff in tuxedos offering wine lists.
Then half a dozen people stood up, at once, flailing their hands and clutching at their throats.
"Oh no," Cristina said. "They're all choking. Won't someone do something."
You know the drill, class. Time to get to work.
If she sounded disappointed, then surely that was in jest. Surely.
"Turns out Thanksgiving around here is just as boring as every other day on this island. How have none of you even managed to blow off a finger playing with fireworks or something? Come on. You're juveniles. Do something delinquenty!" She looked from student to student, then let out a sigh. None of these were the delinquent type. Well, maybe Hipster Spice. She was a weird one.
"Right, anyway. I guess we should cover another first aid topic. Have we done the Heimlich yet? You know, the thing where someone dramatically starts choking in a restaurant and their tablemates scream and then some dude runs over to the rescue to overdramatically perform one of the simplest and most bloodless first aid maneuvers there is?" Heart attacks made for much more entertaining restaurant emergencies than choking ever did. "Right. Well, in case you haven't gotten the gist by watching TV dramas, here's your basic Heimlich." An infographic appeared on the screen. "Here's one on someone who's unconscious. It's a lot like CPR, only you get to stick your finger in their mouth to try and fish out the expelled foreign object. Here's how to do it on a baby. Panicking parents not pictured. Aaaaand here's how to do it on yourself. Oh, and here's what you can do if your first aid kit is all fancy and has a specialized tool for 'dechoking'. Any questions?" She moved on without waiting for any actual questions from the class. "Here's one: what do you do if you try all that and it doesn't work?"
Uh oh. She was smiling. That meant there would be blood.
"Who wants to learn how to do a cricothyroidotomy?"
Come on, we know at least one student's eyes lit up.
"Usually known in layman's terms as a 'tracheotomy', this is that fancy maneuver TV shows love to whip out where the hero guy cuts someone's throat open and shoves a pen in it. Or a straw. Pretty much anything with a reasonably clean, open tube structure will do. It's a bitch and a half to repair and recover from, and super easy to screw up, though, so we're talking absolutely emergencies only. Like, the Heimlich didn't work and the ambulance is still five minutes out and the person's whole face is turning blue. In that case, here's how you do it." Cristina walked the class through the process step by step, even offering some advice on knife size and straw availability as she went. Then she hit a button on the Danger Shop controls, and the room went from "classroom" to "swanky restaurant", complete with muted lighting, clanking silverware, and waitstaff in tuxedos offering wine lists.
Then half a dozen people stood up, at once, flailing their hands and clutching at their throats.
"Oh no," Cristina said. "They're all choking. Won't someone do something."
You know the drill, class. Time to get to work.
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Look, he didn't mind being around the dead, but if he could help people stick around the living a little longer too, he was totally on board for that.
Save people from choking
Cristina is not above making all of them require crics.
Talk to Cristina
might beis definitely watching surgeries on YouTube on her phone while the students Heimlich it up.OOC