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fandomhigh2018-11-26 10:10 am
captainskullpoopl) wrote in fandomhigh2018-11-26 10:10 am
The Circle of Life, Monday Third Period
The danger shop was done up to look like your generic big box store, crammed full of people who were clamoring for deals for the holiday season. Because your teachers either loved or hated you. It was pretty debatable either way.
"Today you're all gonna learn an important lesson in surviving whatever holiday you celebrate. Also, punching soccer moms," Wade said.
"Because punching soccer moms is a way more useful skill for surviving the holiday season than you might expect," Vanessa agreed. "Welcome to Black Friday, so named because it is a bottomless pit of despair that has swallowed Thanksgiving whole."
"Go buy toys for your future children to tie it into the other half of the class," Wade added. "You get bonus points if you bring me anything Pikachu related."
"The it toy of the season is a pillow with a picture of Bea Arthur's face on it," Vanessa said. It was also what Wade was getting for Christmas, but he didn't know that yet unless he was reading the narrative again. Dammit, Wade. "There is only one in the entire store, and everyone else wants it, too. The person who brings it back to me before the end of class gets a prize."
Wade totally gasped in delight over the narrative, but wisely didn't spoil the surprise. Because he was a good fiance who only faked his death once. "We thought about giving you a budget but math isn't either of our strong suits."
"If it looks like a good deal just throw it in your cart," Vanessa advised. "Try not to get stampeded and/or shot, because that's apparently a possibility now. Aaaaaaand GO."
"Today you're all gonna learn an important lesson in surviving whatever holiday you celebrate. Also, punching soccer moms," Wade said.
"Because punching soccer moms is a way more useful skill for surviving the holiday season than you might expect," Vanessa agreed. "Welcome to Black Friday, so named because it is a bottomless pit of despair that has swallowed Thanksgiving whole."
"Go buy toys for your future children to tie it into the other half of the class," Wade added. "You get bonus points if you bring me anything Pikachu related."
"The it toy of the season is a pillow with a picture of Bea Arthur's face on it," Vanessa said. It was also what Wade was getting for Christmas, but he didn't know that yet unless he was reading the narrative again. Dammit, Wade. "There is only one in the entire store, and everyone else wants it, too. The person who brings it back to me before the end of class gets a prize."
Wade totally gasped in delight over the narrative, but wisely didn't spoil the surprise. Because he was a good fiance who only faked his death once. "We thought about giving you a budget but math isn't either of our strong suits."
"If it looks like a good deal just throw it in your cart," Vanessa advised. "Try not to get stampeded and/or shot, because that's apparently a possibility now. Aaaaaaand GO."
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"I'm not punching soccer moms," he said, because he had a hard line, okay?
But after a moment, he decided maybe he could use the fact that he was pretty wiry and spry and quick to his advantage trying to get through all the tiniest gaps in the crowd.
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On the other hand, if any monster went after someone with a puppy she was pretty sure a good number of the crowd would take care of said monster for her.
At any rate, she wore armor as a general rule, so there.
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