Cristina Yang (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deaddadsclub) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2018-09-05 12:20 am
deaddadsclub) wrote in fandomhigh2018-09-05 12:20 am
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Humanoid Health and First Aid, Wednesday, Period 1
The Danger Shop was still unprogrammed when the students arrived for class this morning. Their teacher was actually here at least, this time, as were several CPR dummies of various sizes (infant to adult) and levels of realism (plastic-sack-with-a-face to might-develop-sentience-if-we're-not-careful), which she'd found in a back closet at the clinic. She also had a full stock of training masks and valves — god only knew where these kids had been, after all — and an AED, which was going to stay up by her until it was time to demonstrate, thank you very much. God only knew if any of these kids were smart enough not to electrocute each other with them.
"Wow, you came back," she said, dry as a bone. "Alright then. I would hope that most of you are at least familiar with the technique I'm going to be covering today, since it's a standard part of every first aid or health class that I've heard of, but even if you think you already know how to do it, I want you to focus and pay attention anyway. Even medical professionals have to take refresher courses on this stuff on the regular, and they like to change up the guidelines for how many compressions per minute you should be doing. Just to keep you on your toes."
Or, you know, based on evolving medical knowledge. Whatever.
"Before we get to that, though, let's cover consent really quick: you know how you're not supposed to touch someone else unless they tell you it's okay? Yeah, that goes for first aid and medical stuff, too. Always, always ask before you start trying to apply any of the techniques you're learning in this class. If the person's unconscious, you can assume they consent to live saving techniques, but only life saving techniques. You can give an unconscious person CPR if they need it. You cannot use it as an excuse to feel the person up. I know teenagers are horny beyond all reason, so let's just get that clear upfront, m'kay? Good.
"Now, does anyone know what 'CPR' stands for?" Cristina asked, then barrelled on without waiting for an answer. "That's right, 'cardiopulmonary resuscitation'. 'Cardio' means heart, 'pulmonary' means lungs, and 'resuscitation' means to revive. So basically this technique is making someone's heart and lungs work so they don't die." She smirked faintly. "Fair warning, for those who don't know, most of the time, CPR isn't going to bring someone back to life. I know on TV it's all dramatic and the patient wakes up gasping and everyone lives happily ever after. That basically never actually happens. 90% of the people who receive CPR are already too far gone by the time their rescuer gets to them. Before you start whining about why should we even bother to learn it if it's only got a 10% survival rate, without CPR, the survival rate for someone whose heart and lungs have stopped working who isn't resuscitated is zero." She clapped her hands and rubbed them together. "So everyone grab a dummy, and let's get started."
Cristina covered how to check a victim's vital signs using the ABC method, including when and how to get someone to contact emergency services for you, if possible. She walked them through checking their patient's airway for obvious blockages, checking their breathing, and checking their pulse, then had them gently position their dummies' heads and perform rescue breathing. Finally, she demonstrated how to correctly place their hands on the dummies' chests to get into position to administer chest compressions.
"If you're doing the chest compressions properly, you're probably going to break their ribs, if not their sternum," she warned. "Which is why you're not practicing on each other. Also, because I'm not here to give you all class-time makeouts. Now, you want to keep up a pace of at least 100 beats per minute, so basically the beat of 'Staying Alive' by the Bee-Gees. If you don't have that stuck in your head by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong. If you don't know the song, then your homework is to go find it on YouTube or something and educate yourself."
She was so helpful!
"You want to do 30 compressions, then switch back to rescue breathing for two breaths, then back to chest compressions. Keep that up until further help arrives or . . . you can't anymore, basically. If you and the victim are very lucky, they'll live. If not, you'll be very sore and sad, but at least you tried, which puts you one up on most people in this world. If you and your victim happen to be somewhere with access to an AED, then you can try that, though again, not a guaranteed thing. Defibrilators do not restart stopped hearts. They shock stuttering hearts — hearts with fibrulation — back into a proper sinus rhythm. Don't defibrilate a healthy heart. At best, it'll hurt like a bitch, and you'll earn the scorn and ridicule of your peers."
Cristina checked her watch. How was there still that much class time left? "Right. I guess pair up and practice for awhile. Make up a story about who your victim is and how you found them. If it's interesting enough, maybe I'll even let you defibrilate one of the fancy dummies. Sometimes they even scream."
"Wow, you came back," she said, dry as a bone. "Alright then. I would hope that most of you are at least familiar with the technique I'm going to be covering today, since it's a standard part of every first aid or health class that I've heard of, but even if you think you already know how to do it, I want you to focus and pay attention anyway. Even medical professionals have to take refresher courses on this stuff on the regular, and they like to change up the guidelines for how many compressions per minute you should be doing. Just to keep you on your toes."
Or, you know, based on evolving medical knowledge. Whatever.
"Before we get to that, though, let's cover consent really quick: you know how you're not supposed to touch someone else unless they tell you it's okay? Yeah, that goes for first aid and medical stuff, too. Always, always ask before you start trying to apply any of the techniques you're learning in this class. If the person's unconscious, you can assume they consent to live saving techniques, but only life saving techniques. You can give an unconscious person CPR if they need it. You cannot use it as an excuse to feel the person up. I know teenagers are horny beyond all reason, so let's just get that clear upfront, m'kay? Good.
"Now, does anyone know what 'CPR' stands for?" Cristina asked, then barrelled on without waiting for an answer. "That's right, 'cardiopulmonary resuscitation'. 'Cardio' means heart, 'pulmonary' means lungs, and 'resuscitation' means to revive. So basically this technique is making someone's heart and lungs work so they don't die." She smirked faintly. "Fair warning, for those who don't know, most of the time, CPR isn't going to bring someone back to life. I know on TV it's all dramatic and the patient wakes up gasping and everyone lives happily ever after. That basically never actually happens. 90% of the people who receive CPR are already too far gone by the time their rescuer gets to them. Before you start whining about why should we even bother to learn it if it's only got a 10% survival rate, without CPR, the survival rate for someone whose heart and lungs have stopped working who isn't resuscitated is zero." She clapped her hands and rubbed them together. "So everyone grab a dummy, and let's get started."
Cristina covered how to check a victim's vital signs using the ABC method, including when and how to get someone to contact emergency services for you, if possible. She walked them through checking their patient's airway for obvious blockages, checking their breathing, and checking their pulse, then had them gently position their dummies' heads and perform rescue breathing. Finally, she demonstrated how to correctly place their hands on the dummies' chests to get into position to administer chest compressions.
"If you're doing the chest compressions properly, you're probably going to break their ribs, if not their sternum," she warned. "Which is why you're not practicing on each other. Also, because I'm not here to give you all class-time makeouts. Now, you want to keep up a pace of at least 100 beats per minute, so basically the beat of 'Staying Alive' by the Bee-Gees. If you don't have that stuck in your head by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong. If you don't know the song, then your homework is to go find it on YouTube or something and educate yourself."
She was so helpful!
"You want to do 30 compressions, then switch back to rescue breathing for two breaths, then back to chest compressions. Keep that up until further help arrives or . . . you can't anymore, basically. If you and the victim are very lucky, they'll live. If not, you'll be very sore and sad, but at least you tried, which puts you one up on most people in this world. If you and your victim happen to be somewhere with access to an AED, then you can try that, though again, not a guaranteed thing. Defibrilators do not restart stopped hearts. They shock stuttering hearts — hearts with fibrulation — back into a proper sinus rhythm. Don't defibrilate a healthy heart. At best, it'll hurt like a bitch, and you'll earn the scorn and ridicule of your peers."
Cristina checked her watch. How was there still that much class time left? "Right. I guess pair up and practice for awhile. Make up a story about who your victim is and how you found them. If it's interesting enough, maybe I'll even let you defibrilate one of the fancy dummies. Sometimes they even scream."
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