fandomhigh | Sabotage, Infiltration, and Blowing Shit Up | 2nd Period

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Sabotage, Infiltration, and Blowing Shit Up | 2nd Period | Tuesday

“This is weird as shit,” Ino said brightly, sitting on the desk at the front of the class, her legs crossed. She was wearing a blue suit, and had her obnoxiously long blonde hair piled on the desk behind her. Observant students might notice that her hair wasn’t actually touching the desk but rather floating about an inch above it.. “I’m a teacher, wow. Hey, minions! I’m Iris! Welcome to Sabotage, Infiltration, and Blowing Shit Up!”

"Yeah, you got old somewhere in there," the obnoxious redhead who didn't seem to know how to button up his shirt all the way drawled. "Life from this side of the classroom ain't all that bad, yo." He nodded at the students. "I'm Reno. We're here to teach you how to infiltrate and sabotage shit. Or blow it up. Also fun."

That was very useful, Reno, thank you.

“Shut your trap, old man,” Ino said, without missing a beat. “I’m fresh as a daisy. Anyway, since we’re so nice and stuff, we’re going to do the boring crap and then the fun crap all in one day, aren’t we nice? First up, introductions! You--go!”

"Name and somethin' you blew up sometime," Reno added, helpfully. "Bonus points if it was somethin' fun."

Points were not a thing in this class. Until they were.

They were totally a thing and were definitely going to be part of the final. Hush hush.

Once all the cute, wee minions had finished introductions, Ino beamed at them. “Okay, so you lot aren’t entirely hopeless, but we can get your skills up to where hopeless ain’t a word in your vocabulary. So now… now it’s the fun stuff. We got baskets for you all. Come up and get them.”

With a snap of her fingers the jutsu hiding the neat row of baskets faded.

“Your activity for the day,” Ino said, “is to tell us how the things in the basket can be used to sabotage people.”

"Come up with somethin' good and we'll let you keep what's in there, yo."

They were going to do that anyway.

Shhh, don’t tell!

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Like a spy!

Gratuity Tucci

Aloy

Yang Xiao Long

Beaker

Uma

What there is of it, yo!

Names and shit you've blown up!

"Hey, so. I'm Gratuity Tucci. Aka Tip." Tip shrugged. "And . . . does making people swell up so they look like giant raspberries count? Or do you want, like, flames in the explosion?"

"Well, flames are more fun," Ino mused. "But we can't expect you lot to be up to our standards already. Why were people swellin' up? Did they explode?"

"Not before they finished running away," Tip admitted. "So I don't know. But they were invading my planet, and it turned out they were very allergic to cats, so. . . ."

Ino laughed.

"I like it," she said approvingly. "A good solution to an invading force. What would you have done if they weren't allergic to cats?"

"Well, by that point we managed to get one of their teleclone booths, so probably figured out a way to invade their ship. But not until after we'd figured out some other big weakness."

"I'm Aloy, and not as many machines as I'd like," Aloy said, watching them both thoughtfully. "The first time I rigged a few blaze canisters together with cable and wiring, it was too clunky and I didn't know how to compensate for the weight yet. I was lucky it didn't blow my head off; instead it bounced off the rocks and struck a strider in the middle of the heard. It took out three of them in the process. The rest went running and trampled at least one watcher - it was a good day for scavenging."

Reno tilted his head thoughtfully as he listened.

"I don't know what half of that is," he admitted, "but it sounds like you had a hell of a lot of fun with it, yo. Hopefully there'll be somethin' this semester to keep you engaged, too."

"I fumbled and dropped an explosive that fell into a herd of machines and blew them up," Aloy rephrased. "I know there's a lot to learn."

"Hey, any fumble you can walk away from," Reno mused, clearly thrilled by this. "Sounds like a win to me. But we'll see if we can get you a little more careful with the dangerous shit, at least."

Using... completely not-dangerous examples and probably by being mischief-makers, because this was a summer workshop, here.

"Yang Xiao Long, and I used to have to carry around a fire extinguisher," she admitted cheerfully.

She slammed her right fist into her open left palm, and what looked like fire flowed down her hair, vanishing after it flickered out at the tips. "Stuff I've blown up.... me, the dog, the dog again, dad, Uncle Qrow, me some more, anything remotely flammable...toddlers aren't great at impulse control."

Yang Xiao Long, YOU aren't great at impulse control. Be honest.

"You are my new favourite student!"

Er. Wait.

"I mean," she said, "if I were the type of teacher to play favourites."

Ino was totally the type to play favourites.

"Have you blown up things more recently?"

"I tend to punch things more than blow them up, but to be fair I usually punch them hard enough they fall apart and aren't gonna get back up again," Yang answered. "Most recently? Uh... I went to a club and a guy came on too strong for my tastes. He's gonna need a new club. And new goons. And a new DJ."

Yang shrugged. "Generally, if I'm on fire, there's a problem, and the problem isn't going to like the solution."

"Problems don't tend to like solutions," Ino said cheerfully. "It's all good."

"Meep meep meep meep," Beaker began enthusiastically, waving his arms. "Meep meep meep--"

It went on for a while like that. There were explosion sounds, too, if that helped at all?

For what it was worth, Reno liked the explosion sounds.

"Sounds like you got a lotta experience there, yo," he drawled, amused. Sure, he didn't understand much of that besides those explosion sounds, but he appreciated the little guy's enthusiasm. "Lookin' forward to puttin' that to some practical use here?"

... For a certain meaning of the word 'practical,' really.

Uma frowned. She'd never blown anything up. And Mal had been the one with the fire when they'd fought; she'd just been a giant squid person. "Uma," she said shortly. "And you don't really blow much up when the whole place is flammable as fuck."

Sure, she was a villain, but even villains didn't want their entire tenement island to go ablaze. That's where all their stuff was!

...And people, right. Those were definitely part of the equation, sure.

"Threatened to a couple of times," she added. "But that was just because sometimes people need convincing."

To pay.

Ino considered that thoughtfully.

"So," she said, "does that mean you want to blow things up?"

'Cause, like, that could be arranged and all.

"Sure," Uma said with a shrug. "Sounds like fun to try. Or learn."

Because she wasn't on the Isle now and she wasn't ever going back. At least not more than long enough to grab her ship and her crew.

"What I coulda done with something that exploded..."

Which have in them:

- One bottle of water, the contents are orange-flavored.
- One package of Spree gum. Nothing is wrong with this outright, Ino and Reno just thought it was funny that the gum tastes like soap.
- A grappling hook.
- A pair of SPY GOGGLES. Mostly they just let you see if there are security lasers set up. Not that there are any in the room for you to test these on in order to know that.
- A package of Oreos which have been tampered with so that the centers have been replaced with toothpaste.
- A disposable camera.
- A couple of candy apples. Or, well. They’re actually candy onions. But they look like candy apples.
- One itemized list of all the contents of the basket, written in invisible ink.

Talk about how you could use these things to sabotage people!

Tip rifled through the basket for several minutes, having trouble getting past the "J.Lo would love those oreos" thoughts. He would pick them apart and lick out the center and throw away the cookie part and laugh about how human he was being. She was definitely going to have to bring some home with her next time she went.

As for sabotage. . . . "So we're just assuming our enemies are human, huh?"

Ino raised her eyebrows.

"Ain't seein' nothin' in that that can't be used on other things than humans either," she said mildly. "Maybe you just gotta get a bit more creative."

Tip shrugged. "Humanoid, then. I mean, you've got some standard spy-type gear in here and all, but the food stuff is relying on your enemy being able to recognize human treats, or at least be somewhat motivated by food and water." She held up one of the candy apples. "Though I suppose if you could get a Boov to try wearing these as shoes, you could stick him to the ground for a bit."

Honestly, certain Boov would probably enjoy that.

Reno leaned back in his seat, looking thoughtfully at Tip, and then shrugging his shoulders. When he spoke, he sounded bored. That was default Reno, mostly.

"They got electrical equipment? Somethin' you can fuck up with bubblegum or water? This shit's great for pranks against humans-and-humanoids, but half this class is gonna be about workin' with what you got to get the job done. Improvisin'. We included human food because humans are what we know, yo. Wouldn't do no good to make assumptions about species we have no idea about, either. Big multiverse, big universe, and it's impossible to cover everything we don't know on top of what we do."

For example: What the flying fuck was a Boov?

Bill hopped up from his perch on Tip's hair to let out an indignant string of bubbles. As a piece of electrical equipment that operated using water and bubbles, he was a little offended by the insinuation he could be so easily messed with!

"Hush," Tip told him, then looked back at Reno. "I mean, I've worked with less. But yeah, I've gone up against enemies who have ships made entirely out of cloned organic material. Of course, those were the guys we attacked with weaponized cats, so . . . hey, maybe they're allergic to sugar, too."

Sure, but gum would probably not be great for him, right? Or the sticky sugar on the candy onions.

Ino shrugged. "Ain't got to be allergic to thing to be a way to cause them a helluva a bad time," she said lightly. "Like I said, imagination is key to these baskets. Just lookin' at 'em and taking them at face value ain't gonna be a fun time for anyone."

Aloy would give the teachers an answer any minute - she really would. But there was so much in the basket she didn't recognize, and she got distracted by the process of taking items apart, shaking them, and studying them.

Aaany minute now.

Oh, but that was adorable!

"What's got your attention the most?" Ino asked, wandering over when it became clear that Aloy was too intrigued by the basket to answer.

"I get that both of the machines have different properties to do with sight," Aloy said, tapping them. "The liquid in the bottle behaves the same way water does. But what's the substance between these?"

She held up a decapitated Oreo.

"Usually it's supposed to be a sweet, kinda creamy center," Ino said, smiling. "But we replaced it with toothpaste--which is something we use to clean our teeth and keep them healthy."

"To sabotage someone's snacktime?" Aloy said wryly.

"Sometimes the pettiest sabotage is the most satisfying!"

Ino was not wrong.

"But with imagination I bet you could do more with 'em than that." She could think of several things right now. "What would you do with 'em?"

"It's a thick paste, almost grainy," Aloy said, swiping her finger through the toothpaste. "It could probably gum up the inner workings of a weapon, if you use it the right way."

She held her fingers up to smell the paste. "Strange scent," she added. "It could probably overpower something else."

Her fingers slid up to the little metal triangle by her ear. "I can't tell if there's anything in it that would be useful some other way," she admitted.

Please don't try to make a toothpaste bomb, Aloy.

"Meep meep meep meep meep," Beaker grumbled, candy onions already stuck to his hands.

"Need a hand there, Meepy?"

Yes, Beaker had a real name. It was unlikely Ino was going to use it though.

"The hell are these?" Uma asked, holding up one of the candy 'apples'.

I ain't here for a long time
I'm here for a good time
So bring on the sunshine
To hell with the red wine
Pour me some moonshine

Ino was still mostly bemused that the class of minions was actually sorta doing what she wanted them to as she sat on the desk.

But, yeah, sure, she'd talk to anyone who wanted to talk.

Ah, rookies. Reno was leaning back against the desk himself, looking kind of pleased by this whole setup.

It was a summer class, not enough time to really get into the serious shit, but he fully intended to have fun with this one while it lasted.

Who let these two teach???

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Sabotage, Infiltration, and Blowing Shit Up | 2nd Period | Tuesday

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Listen to the lecture!

Introductions

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Go through your baskets!

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Talk to your teachers!

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OOC