fandomhigh | The Cryptozoologist's Field Guide, Wednesday, Per 1

Monday's battle with the lindworm was still on Verity's brain, which was why she'd chosen today's lesson.

"A great deal of cryptozoology is about conservatism," Verity explained once the class had all arrived. "This, unfortunately means trying to preserve the lives of a lot of cryptids that don't have the same reservations about you. For example, we have the lindworm, which we're pretty sure Mother Nature invented while hung over, projecting all of her hatred and aggression at the world into one eighteen-foot-long, armor-plated, cold-blooded, reptilian, obligate carnivore."

With a wave of her hand, a lindworm appeared, frozen in place. It looked like a skink, only its length was measured in yards instead of inches and a series of sharp spines that started right between the eyes and followed the spine all the way down to the tip of its tail. Its belly and tail were bright, electric blue because lindworm were the apex predator in their habitats.

"This is a male lindworm. Females are usually a few feet bigger and their hind legs are a little more formed, because they use them to dig out a den that the mated pair will hibernate in during the winter. That means that female lindworm may also use their hind legs to kick, which is one more thing to worry about, in case the claws, teeth, and size. Lindworm eat their prey whole, including bones, hide, offal, and hair, as well as clothing, camping gear, firearms, and mining equipment. They also have exceptionally good eyesight, an excellent sense of smell, and a nasty disposition: they're aggressive, territorial, and mean.. And, just because no suck-sundae is ever complete without the cherry, lindworm hunt very close to their pair-bonded mate. You may only see one lindworm, but if it starts to make noises of pain or distress, its mate will come quickly to investigate, giving you not one but two lindworm to fight."

Which very rarely turned out well for the person fighting the lindworm.

"Their habitats range all over the world, from the desert to the sub-arctic, though many regions haven't had a lindworm sighting in centuries. Any time a lindworm comes in contact with sapient species, there is almost immediately some kind of conflict, because more sapients take it poorly when their dogs, livestock, and small children start to go missing. This becomes more difficult when taking the lindworm's natural defenses and hardiness into account. Their armor is highly resistant to bullets and bladed weapons. Even prying some of the armor off, the lindworm's muscles and tissue are dense, requiring several bullet into vital points to take effect. The only guaranteed methods of death are decapitation or total destruction of the body, and there are reports of some lindworm surviving several days without a head, which is comforting to no one at all."

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Aggressive, mean, and territorial

Yang Xiao Long

Molly Squidpiddge

Wouldn't be the worst time to take notes.

Once she was done telling the class about lindworms, she had a series of questions to pose to them.

"So, lindworms are generally terrible creatures." That wasn't up for debate. "So why do we worry about their conservation? What could happen if we had a 'kill on sight' policy?"

"Uh, a lot more Hunters would probably end up dead than lindworms, if they're that hard to kill," Yang said dubiously. "It'd be a waste of people to take out one that isn't actually causing problems off somewhere without people."

"Very good," Verity said with an approving nod. "Practical."

It wasn't the cryptozoologist's answer, but that didn't make it wrong. And Verity was a big fan of the pragmatic. Pragmatic got fewer people killed than hippy-crunchy empathy did.

"Can you think of any ecological reasons having a big, territorial predator might be handy to keep around?"

"Uh, you have a pit and a lot of people you don't like?" Sorry, Verity. "To clean the stupid out of the gene pool?"

Yang wouldn't. But she'd want to.

"Well any creature is just following its natural instincts," Molly said. "We're the ones wandering into their territory, usually not the other way around I'm guessing. If you start killing them, they might migrate... and that's when they end up encroaching on other places."

"That is a big part of it," Verity agreed. "In most cases, we're the interlopers, not them. So long as lindworms aren't harming humans or other sapients, we have no reason to get involved. It's not our place to hunt animals who are just acting in accordance to their natures."

Even if that nature was 'asshole.' "So why do you think we intercede when they start eating humans, even if the humans were the ones blundering through their territory?"

"Because they might get a taste for it and start seeking out humans to eat?" Molly mused.

"If you found a lindworm out in the wild, how would you handle it? Would you fight it? How? Looking at the lindworm, how do you think it fights back? Can you think of any non-violent methods of dealing with a lindworm?"

"Sniper," Yang said succinctly. "Good sniper, because you won't get another chance. Shots straight through the eyes. Or a weapon with reach, like a scythe."

Ruby was far more suited to take out one like this than she was. Except... "Or if I can keep or wedge its mouth open, grenade or shotgun down the throat."

"Jacketed, hollow-point, high-caliber rounds for the sniper," Verity said immediately. "And they should shoot three, maybe four times just to be sure."

Not to ensure they'd hit, but to ensure they'd do enough damage.

"Skip the shotgun and go for the grenades," she added. "And use several. Always go for overkill because it takes a lot more than you were expecting to be able to kill it."

"I have high-impact explosive shotgun ammo," Yang said brightly. "So, basically I'd be the one on the ground keeping it distracted while my little sister got into position. She'd love the chance to take on something like this."

There was no question in Yang's mind that Ruby could make the shot. It was Ruby. Her hand-to-hand might still be terrible, but give her something she could take on with Crescent Rose, and she could be terrifying.

"Oh no, I'm not fighting it," Molly said. "I've died enough. Maybe if Archie was with me, but even then I think he'd get terribly hurt and it would be an awful idea. I run. Try and distract it, maybe. But really, I'm wondering why I'm out in the wild. Nothing good is ever found out there."

"Sometimes you don't have a choice," Verity said with a shrug. "Sometimes that thing you need is out in the wild. Sometimes that person you want to protect is an idiot. And sometimes you're not even in the wild, but bad shit comes to you."

She had a feeling Molly already knew that, having died twice now.

"Running is a decent option, but these suckers are fast. How do you make sure you get away?"

"Get to high ground," Molly thought. "They probably aren't good climbers. I hope."

"Lindworms can be found in a variety of habitats, including urban ones. How do you think they hunt in a city? How do you think they remain unseen? How would you handle an urban lindworm--does its proximity to people change how you think it should be dealt with?"

"They must live in the sewers, then," Molly said. "That's a problem. Then again, in a city like Malifaux they might get eaten by the rats before they're a real issue."

"...Tell me about these rats," Verity said, a little appalled.

She had more to say about lindworms living in the sewers, but first things were definitely first.

"Bigger and meaner that a street cat, and if enough get together they kind of fuse together into a rat king that can strip the meat off someone's bones faster than you can sneeze," Molly said. "They're pretty filthy, too. Rat catchers make a pretty penny to make sure they don't spread disease into the rich parts of town."

Ask her about her split lip!

Stupid lindworm.

Then there are tatzelwurms, which are like lindworms but with working arms!

I love cryptozoology.

The Cryptozoologist's Field Guide, Wednesday, Per 1

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