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fandomhigh2018-01-01 07:33 am
captainskullpoopl) wrote in fandomhigh2018-01-01 07:33 am
Entry tags:
Cooking for the Disinterested - Monday
"Hey, you slackers took our class. That's pretty great," Deadpool said cheerfully. "I'm sure we'll see you for the first month and then you'll all just disappear on us. Don't worry, that's just how it is."
Vanessa longed for the sweet embrace of death. Why had she drunk all that champagne? Whyyyyyy? Oh, right, because 2017 was finally over and that deserved celebrating.
"Okay, so this is the cooking class but it's not like the fancy cooking class. That's that other guy. This is for those of you who don't actually care but don't want to starve to death. But honestly no one should have to cook when they feel like I do right now."
"She's super hungover," Deadpool informed the class. You know. Real helpful like in a sort of stage whisper. "That means we're gonna make the greasiest fucking thing you can imagine to absorb all that alcohol. It helps. Or we like to think it helps. Wait until you get wasted and tell me what you crave. If it's White Castle, you are a monster and don't deserve the sweet embrace of death."
"So, the first thing is that you're gong to want to drink a LOT of water, and then...honestly I just want like a lot of hash browns right now. Can you guys make me hash browns?" And an Egg McMuffin. McDonald's. She wanted McDonald's. But this was a cooking class, so she was going to soldier on. "We're gonna make hash browns." She had decided. "And eggs."
He slipped her a Pedialyte for her trouble. That shit had everything you needed to get over a hangover.
"Or, if you wanna learn the lifehack to this shit, we're gonna turn the entire McDonald's breakfast menu into a burrito. Yes, we know they literally have burritos. Just go with us on this."
"This is the better way," Vanessa agreed after a restorative sip of Pedialyte. Not just for toddlers! "Also you can use a pancake as a tortilla!" Or you could get an actual tortilla, but that was boring.
Deadpool shook a bag of McDonald's at the class. You know. To show them just what they'd be working with. "Oh, and your name. We should know that, I guess."
Vanessa was making grabby hands at the bag. "Why didn't you give me that first?" she whined. And then remembered her audience and said, "Also you can like. Explain the reasoning behind your masterpiece or whatever."
Vanessa longed for the sweet embrace of death. Why had she drunk all that champagne? Whyyyyyy? Oh, right, because 2017 was finally over and that deserved celebrating.
"Okay, so this is the cooking class but it's not like the fancy cooking class. That's that other guy. This is for those of you who don't actually care but don't want to starve to death. But honestly no one should have to cook when they feel like I do right now."
"She's super hungover," Deadpool informed the class. You know. Real helpful like in a sort of stage whisper. "That means we're gonna make the greasiest fucking thing you can imagine to absorb all that alcohol. It helps. Or we like to think it helps. Wait until you get wasted and tell me what you crave. If it's White Castle, you are a monster and don't deserve the sweet embrace of death."
"So, the first thing is that you're gong to want to drink a LOT of water, and then...honestly I just want like a lot of hash browns right now. Can you guys make me hash browns?" And an Egg McMuffin. McDonald's. She wanted McDonald's. But this was a cooking class, so she was going to soldier on. "We're gonna make hash browns." She had decided. "And eggs."
He slipped her a Pedialyte for her trouble. That shit had everything you needed to get over a hangover.
"Or, if you wanna learn the lifehack to this shit, we're gonna turn the entire McDonald's breakfast menu into a burrito. Yes, we know they literally have burritos. Just go with us on this."
"This is the better way," Vanessa agreed after a restorative sip of Pedialyte. Not just for toddlers! "Also you can use a pancake as a tortilla!" Or you could get an actual tortilla, but that was boring.
Deadpool shook a bag of McDonald's at the class. You know. To show them just what they'd be working with. "Oh, and your name. We should know that, I guess."
Vanessa was making grabby hands at the bag. "Why didn't you give me that first?" she whined. And then remembered her audience and said, "Also you can like. Explain the reasoning behind your masterpiece or whatever."
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