fandomhigh | Cooking for the Disinterested

"Hey, you slackers took our class. That's pretty great," Deadpool said cheerfully. "I'm sure we'll see you for the first month and then you'll all just disappear on us. Don't worry, that's just how it is."

Vanessa longed for the sweet embrace of death. Why had she drunk all that champagne? Whyyyyyy? Oh, right, because 2017 was finally over and that deserved celebrating.

"Okay, so this is the cooking class but it's not like the fancy cooking class. That's that other guy. This is for those of you who don't actually care but don't want to starve to death. But honestly no one should have to cook when they feel like I do right now."

"She's super hungover," Deadpool informed the class. You know. Real helpful like in a sort of stage whisper. "That means we're gonna make the greasiest fucking thing you can imagine to absorb all that alcohol. It helps. Or we like to think it helps. Wait until you get wasted and tell me what you crave. If it's White Castle, you are a monster and don't deserve the sweet embrace of death."

"So, the first thing is that you're gong to want to drink a LOT of water, and then...honestly I just want like a lot of hash browns right now. Can you guys make me hash browns?" And an Egg McMuffin. McDonald's. She wanted McDonald's. But this was a cooking class, so she was going to soldier on. "We're gonna make hash browns." She had decided. "And eggs."

He slipped her a Pedialyte for her trouble. That shit had everything you needed to get over a hangover.

"Or, if you wanna learn the lifehack to this shit, we're gonna turn the entire McDonald's breakfast menu into a burrito. Yes, we know they literally have burritos. Just go with us on this."

"This is the better way," Vanessa agreed after a restorative sip of Pedialyte. Not just for toddlers! "Also you can use a pancake as a tortilla!" Or you could get an actual tortilla, but that was boring.

Deadpool shook a bag of McDonald's at the class. You know. To show them just what they'd be working with. "Oh, and your name. We should know that, I guess."

Vanessa was making grabby hands at the bag. "Why didn't you give me that first?" she whined. And then remembered her audience and said, "Also you can like. Explain the reasoning behind your masterpiece or whatever."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ready to learn... cooking?

Dante

Bobby Drake

Jughead Jones

Re: Sign In

midichlorianfail - 2018-01-01 19:36 (UTC) - Expand

revengenotebook - 2018-01-01 20:01 (UTC) - Expand

spell_chucker - 2018-01-02 01:32 (UTC) - Expand

notamascot - 2018-01-02 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

Make something with your bag of McDonald's and, you know, maybe say what your name is. But that was secondary.

"Can I just eat the burger and leave it at that?" Dante asked.

"Just make the burrito of poor choices, Hot Topic," Deadpool replied, throwing his hands up into the air.

"I'm just saying it's easier," Dante said. "Except if we actually get giant tortillas in here."

Re: Hangover Food

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 15:31 (UTC) - Expand

rebelseekspizza - 2018-01-01 15:43 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 15:57 (UTC) - Expand

rebelseekspizza - 2018-01-01 16:06 (UTC) - Expand

"Bobby Drake," Bobby introduced himself, already stacking the contents of an Egg McMuffin between two pancakes.

Well, he thought it was clever. Sadly, with how long he'd been in the future already no-one had thought to tell him McGriddles were already a thing.

"Wow, that Disney buy out really bumped up the budget to get you here, huh?" Really, he should have known with those sexy Avengers running around.

"...What?"

Bobby had no idea what that was supposed to mean. Well, there was the one time he'd admitted that talking to Rocket made him feel like a Disney princess, but how would this guy know about that?

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 16:20 (UTC) - Expand

Jughead was definitely trying to get away with just eating the burger. No introductions, nothing.

"Hey, hey there, Hot Topic Number 2. You don't get out of making that burrito of shame," Deadpool said.

He'd kind of hoped that a masked teacher and a teacher with a hangover might not be so strict. About a ridiculous task.

"My masterpiece is eating the burger in a normal way," he offered.

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 19:15 (UTC) - Expand

wiredweird - 2018-01-01 20:52 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 21:08 (UTC) - Expand

wiredweird - 2018-01-01 21:13 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 21:18 (UTC) - Expand

wiredweird - 2018-01-01 21:22 (UTC) - Expand

Theron held up a roll he'd found in his bag. "It smells great, but surely there are better options out there," he said, his hungry teenager side clashing with the Jedi training.

Shh, Theron, just enjoy the fact that through the magic of Fandom, you'd somehow gotten the Australian breakfast menu in your bag.

"Yeah, but cheap and easy." Like your teachers. BOOYAH.

Wait, that wasn't nice.

Well, Deadpool had only himself to blame for that.

"Uh-huh." Thereon was unconvinced.

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 20:34 (UTC) - Expand

midichlorianfail - 2018-01-02 07:11 (UTC) - Expand

"This is not food," Paris sniffed, waving the McSausage patty at Deadpool judgmentally. "This is a really squishy hockey puck of shame and regret."

"Yes and your point is?" Maybe shame and regret were the perfect way to cure a hangover.

revengenotebook - 2018-01-01 20:20 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 20:24 (UTC) - Expand

revengenotebook - 2018-01-01 20:44 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 20:46 (UTC) - Expand

revengenotebook - 2018-01-01 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

revengenotebook - 2018-01-01 21:17 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 21:21 (UTC) - Expand

revengenotebook - 2018-01-01 21:42 (UTC) - Expand

captainskullpoopl - 2018-01-01 21:44 (UTC) - Expand

"I agree with Paris, this really doesn't count as food," Khadgar said, poking questionably at what was supposed to be a pancake. "Is there any nutritional value to this?"

"Is there any nutritional value to you?" What did that even mean?

spell_chucker - 2018-01-02 02:51 (UTC) - Expand

Honestly, Kaylin was just going to eat what she could as efficiently as she could. It had been a long weekend, and being the end of the month she'd run short on money for food. If it made him happy that she kind of wrapped everything together, so be it.

"See, everyone? See? She knows where it's at!" Congrats, Kaylin. You were his new favorite.

notamascot - 2018-01-02 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

Quietly. Because oh god, loud noises.

2018, I'm counting on you to suck slightly less.

Sign In

Re: Sign In

Re: Sign In

Re: Sign In

Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Re: Hangover Food

Talk to the Teachers

OOC