fandomhigh | Civics, Friday, September 8, 2017

There was a lack of glitter in the classroom this week, so hopefully no one was crushed by this. They could make up for it with supplied coffee at least?

"Welcome back," Tony said to their tiny class. "Today we'll be discussing the types of government out there and which is the current governing system in the United States. Again, the one we are currently in."

The one that was dabbling in a variety of populism with a heavy emphasis on racism and nativism!

Plus bonus sexism!

"There are a variety of options out there," Steve said. "For a good portion of history, a monarchy--government by a sole king or queen, someone not chosen by the people--was very popular. Those that are left over have become, for the most part, constitutional monarchies where the ruling family is largely ceremonial and someone else--normally a parliament--does the heavy lifting of governing."

"Not to say there aren't still governments where one person or a very small group of people hold immense power over the rest of the population," Tony added. "There are dictatorships where someone controls all aspects of the state and maintains that with force or the threat of it. There are theocracies where religion and religious leaders are the controlling force in the government."

"And there are swaths where someone says they're in charge but the reality is laughably--or tragically--otherwise," Steve said. "But today we're going to mostly focus on the various kinds of democracies--representative and direct--and republics--parliamentary, federal, or single party."

"For democracies, direct democracy is... well, what it sounds like," Tony said. "You vote directly for things and a majority vote gets it approved. This... is not very common to see as it's very difficult with large populations. Representative is what you may be familiar with as that is what we see in the US. We vote to elect someone who is supposed to vote or work on our behalf in the government. It's a bit more hands off for the general population."

"The US is also a federal republic," Steve said, "which means power is broken up into several sections--the national government, and then the 50 states. Below the states are local government as well, all the way down to school boards."

"Which is why we fear the school board visits." Tony, no.

"Plus from what I've read, they're kind of insane," Steve added. "Today we're going to talk about the different kinds of government, how they work, and when they don't. Dictatorships, for instance, are extremely streamlined because there's no pesky 'asking other people for their opinions' part."

They really were, Steve.

"Pick a type of government and tell us what you think are the biggest flaws in them and what, if any, ways they could be fixed," Tony said.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Tell on you to the government," Paris translated. "Which I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to do."

"... What if I'm an illegal alien?"

Emphasis on alien.

"Given how they rant about the President when they think we're not paying attention?" Paris shrugged. "Pretty sure they don't care."

"Well, good," Peridot replied, and then leaned in to confide, "because I'm not entirely certain what that means anyway."

"It means that you're in the United States without the correct paperwork to show you should be here," Paris explained.

"... Paperwork?"

Yeah, nope.

"A student visa, maybe?" Paris offered.

"Oh! I don't have any credit cards."

... Still nope.

"Different kind of visa," Paris said. "This one is from the government. It says you're allowed to be here, at least according to them. This school's so weird, though, that it's probably forged 'em for you already. Which is so, so wrong."

And now Peridot was chewing her lip in thought.

"But what's so wrong about it? I thought the government here was the mayor?"

And frankly, she didn't seem to care much about who was living here, did she?

"This is part of the federalism they were talking about," Paris explained. "The mayor is the boss here, but they answer, kind of, at least, to the governor of Maryland. And Maryland falls under the federal government, which is the boss of all things immigration."

Lucky for Paris, that explanation was actually useful enough that Peridot forgot, at least for the moment, that she was supposed to be leading the conversation with kicking.

"Though immigration procedures are more or less ignored, here? We don't have anything like this at all where I'm from. There's a hierarchy, definitely, with lower-class Gems answering to their superiors all the way up to the Diamonds, but we don't ever really see anybody who isn't already a Gem wanting to... immigrate."

"I haven't seen anyone here all that upset about it," Paris admitted, "but I can go ask the mayor about it."

That would go well.

Peridot ducked her head a little bit all over again.

"Do you think she'd start taking exception to people who aren't from around here...?"

That would basically be 95% of the population of the island. Including the mayor. Good luck.

"I don't know her at all," Paris said, "but I'm going to guess tipping the feds off to the major weirdness here isn't on her list of priorities or else they would've been here a long time ago."

Peridot was now squinting at Paris, but willing to accept that line of reasoning. For now.

"Then what would you be asking her?"

"Just to confirm that and to know if we need to be getting extra credit through protesting her," Paris said.

Peridot was now fairly certain that, so far as human beings went, Paris was somehow managing to make even less sense than most. Which was quite the feat.

It wasn't Paris' fault. Peridot just had no idea what half the words out of her mouth actually meant.

"Right..." Peridot glanced around the room a little. And then leaned in a bit to whisper. "Is protesting safe?"

She had her sign all made up already, but she really had no idea how she was meant to use it.

"It's one of our Constitutional rights," Paris said. "Protesting is sacred."

Paris had opinions, Peridot.

"Holding up weird little slogans on sheets of paper is sacred?"

Humans had such weird, weird religious rituals.

Paris nodded. "Even the ones that are horribly misspelled."

"Are the misspelled ones at least effective?"

Or at the very least, clever?

"Not unless it's to make the other side of the argument feel smug," Paris said.

"Oh." Peridot considered that for a moment. "Then I shouldn't make new signs with deliberate misspellings in order to better get my point across."

Good to know.

"Well, if you're doing deliberate misspellings, it's okay. It's when you do accidental misspellings that people will point and laugh," Paris said. "'Get a brain, morans', when moron is spelled with an 'a', for example."

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