fandomhigh | The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

This week the danger shop was made to look like a bar. The sort of bar you probably didn't want to be in. You know, where your feet stuck to the floor due to what you honestly hoped was a spilled cocktail, but... c'mon. Let's be honest here. It wasn't from a cocktail.

One teacher had a black eye from his last trip to the bar, but looked pretty damn pleased to be there again. "Welcome back! You did great last week. Super great. And kinda hilarious too."

That Cara didn't wave to anyone who'd been bitten was a testament to her self-control. "And hopefully leant a valuable lesson about avoiding gremlins," she drawled. "However, gremlins are not the only danger on the island, and they lurk everywhere, including places you might want to relax, like the bars."

Sure, the only bar they could actually drink at had an anti~~-fun~~-violence spell on it, but she didn't need to tell them that.

"Or you could be looking for a job there! A lot of great adventures start there. Or end there if you roll really shitty initiative," Magnus continued. "See, the key is to be adaptable. Because anything can be a weapon if you just use your imagination."

"Including your imagination." Cara looked far, far too cheerful about that.

He nodded encouragingly at that. "And it makes for a great podcast." Wait, what? "So, today we're gonna see how you handle a normal bar fight. With robots. Fantasy robots."

"It's more common than you'd think." At least that's what the squirrels had said when Cara checked with them, and if you couldn't trust rum-soaked rodents to be truthful... well, that ship had sailed long ago. "I'm sure you'll do us proud." Or fail hilariously. Win/win.

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Which would be why Magnus was carefully poking her with a robot arm. That's he'd ripped off while staring into that thing's cold, dead eyes.

"You good under there?"

"I'm all right," Merrill assured him, and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes. "Well, something keeps poking me in the back --" it was a severed robot leg but she didn't realize that -- "but it's mostly comfortable otherwise."

That was his bad. He hadn't really meant to dis-leg it, but it came at him, Okay? It came at him. You all saw it!

"Okay, cool. Cool, cool, cool. But you could maybe... magic missile the shit out of one? You know, just one."

"Magic . . . missile?"

Merrill blinked at him. Also, she was beginning to realize that she was stuck to the floor because it was gross.

"I'm not sure I can cast anything quite like that, but I can give something a try? I'm sorry if I hit you or someone in the class by accident, though. That happens sometimes."

According to cut scene dialogue anyway. It did not seem to actually happen during combat gameplay.

Magnus hummed, considering that. "Well, how about we face away from the class and I'll keep my shield handy. I'm sure you'll do great!"

He was gonna tell his shield about the time he fought Magic Brian, just in case.

"I --" Merrill frowned briefly, but nodded. "Oh, all right."

The problem with the current setting was that for someone accustomed to using nature-based powers, finding an object she could use was a bit more challenging.

Luckily someone in the bar was the recipient of a vase full of fresh-cut flowers which Merrill was able to conjure into much larger flowers. With mouths. ~~That were absolutely not chorusing "Feed me, Seymour!"~~ That apparently felt that their iron levels were low, and that clearly chomping on metal was the best way to fix this issue.

Look, they were still pretty flowers, even if they were filled with the urge to cause droid carnage now. That was important.

Magnus very carefully moved his shield in front of his crotch just in case these plants wanted to eat his dick too.

"See, you did great! Are you, like, a druid or something?"

The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

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