fandomhigh | Fandom High Library, All Day Saturday.

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Fandom High Library, All Day Saturday.

There were fucking sharks fucking everywhere and John was right fucking sick of it. He'd had to bring a baseball bat with him to work today, and smash a few shark-faces in just to get to the fucking library.

If your librarian seemed a bit of a grump today, well, sharks.

The Fandom High Library was open to all -- except sharks -- and the librarian was in.

[OOC: OCD is UP!]

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She's there, somewhere.

For all those hard at work on solving this particular project.

Alec Hardison	Hardison was dozing over his laptop. The night before, he'd written a quick web crawler to search for other suggestions for dealing with this thing. It was a hurricane, he refused to believe that the internet wouldn't have suggestions for how to deal with weather. The sharks, sure, that might be a problem only Fandom could handle, but people have been dealing with hurricanes for centuries. So, he had turned to the collected knowledge of the internet for an answer and, lo, the internet had responded. His crawler dinged, jolting him fully awake. Blearily, he reached for his computer, read the collected links, and scratched his head. "Yo, can I get a san check over here?"
Peridot	"Yes," Peridot said, making her teeny little way over toward the man at the computer. ... "What's a san and how do you check it?" So bad at Earth, this one.
Summer Smith	Don't worry, Peridot, you weren't alone. "Yeah, like, what does that even mean?" Summer asked, but she was quick to look it up on her phone. "Oh. Sanity check? Did you find something weird?" Considering...everything...yeah, probably.
Tali'Zorah nar Rayya	T"Especially around here," Tali said, wry amusement clear even through the electronic modulation of her mask filters, "where the boundaries of weird move at least twice a day." She moved over, within range of where she could look at the screen if Hardison turned it her way. "Whatever it is, it's definitely going to be interesting, at least."
Gratuity "Tip" Tucci	"Sanity is relative," Tip said. Sure, the first summer here she got turned into an orange, but she also came from a world where aliens liked to use those as shoes, so. "I say whatever you found we try anyway because why the heck not?
Hardison	"Fair 'nough," Hardison conceded. "Then, how 'bout On a scale of one to ten, how workable does 'freezin' a hurricane to stop it' sound?" Hardison asked, pulling up first the page that had caught his crawler's attention and then all of the data he'd hacked from the Project Stormfury archives. Which, in fairness, did support the theory.
Tali	"Probably more workable than it sounds like," Tali remarked, and tapped a few commands into her omni-tool to bring up a 3-D holoprojection of the hurricane pacifier she'd come across in research earlier. "The model I found proposes using smoke to accelerate condensation that then freezes to help destabilize the hurricane's center, but if we can figure out a way to speed up that process..."
Tip	"Really, really big ice cubes?" Tip suggested. It was a joke. Unless, you know, people were into it. . . .
Peridot	Peridot was up on her tiptoes, trying to see as much of the screen as was possible from... well... down there. She squinted a little. "We'd need a lot of them," she noted.
Summer	"Um," said Summer, "we go to this school and live on this island. There's go to be someone with a freeze ray or an ice spell in their repertoire or something, right?"
Dr. Hannibal Lecter	"I have a very large freezer," Hannibal said, "but I doubt that will be sufficient for the purpose. Previous ideas have involved pumping deep-ocean water up, as it's naturally colder." He smiled wryly. "Unfortunately at the moment, that might simply mean more sharks." Thank you, Fandom.
Tali'zorah Say WHAT Now????	The video file Tali had pulled up on her omni-tool for further research purposes turned out to have an audio glitch in it, and while the rest of the group was spared the horrible staticky screeching noise that lanced through the audio receptors inside her mask, her wince was visible. "Wait," she said, because she'd only caught bits and pieces of the last thirty seconds or so of the conversation. "We're freezing sharks now?" Somehow even just the illuminated hints of her eyes behind the mask looked incredulous. Or that could have just been strongly implied by her tone.
Rufus Shinra	Rufus had doubtfully listened to the entire thing. It was... well, who knew, maybe it would work here. "They would make pretty large ice cubes," he observed from his laptop.
Peridot	"They'd bite less, too," Peridot offered. "I think." That part seemed important.
Hannibal	"That was not what I had said," Hannibal informed Tali. "However," he added to Rufus, "they would indeed. The problem would be in actually freezing them all the way through. My freezer certainly can't handle that. Perhaps Eliot's could, but I doubt it would be fast enough."
Summer	Summer was comfortable thinking this was all bullshit conjecture until Dr. Lecter seemed to be giving it actual consideration. That's when she knew that they must really be in the weeds here. "Are we seriously talking about freezing sharks right now?" Come on, Summer, don't act like that's the weirdest thing you've ever encountered. And now that she said it out loud... "You know, actually, that's stupid enough that it would probably work."
Hannibal	Hannibal shrugged. "Water would of course be better, but fresh water is best kept for drinking right now, and salt water would be equally difficult to freeze. Besides, even supplying local shelters will hardly be enough to get rid of all these extra sharks." He smirked. "And it does seem most things that work here are of that 'stupid enough' variety."
Hardison	"Eliot's freezer is definitely big enough to store a buncha sharks long enough to freeze 'em," Hardison said, with the expression of a man who realized that their current plan involved 'lobbing frozen sharks into a hurricane and hoping that worked' and was also the best thing they'd come up with. "It's got a trolley system an' at least one tribe of polar bears. So long as the tentacle monsters don't get hungry..." He wished he were joking. God, he wished he were joking. "Anyone have an idea of how many sharks we're gonna need for this? "
Hannibal	"Will it freeze them quickly enough, though?" Hannibal asked. "It could take days in a normal freezer. And I've no idea - probably at least an equivalent amount as for ice cubes, plus extra as they won't melt entirely."
Rufus	"I've got access to ice magic," Rufus said, bemused that this was actually happening. "That would help speed things along. As for how many... I'm going with the unscientific 'lots'."
Tip	"It'd depend on the shark," Tip mused. "There's a pretty big size range through the whole, like, genus. Who's going to collect the sharks?"
Rufus	Rufus paused for a moment. ... "I'm sure we can talk some idiots into it." Well, he wasn't wrong...
Tali	Tali chuckled. "Phrase it the right way, and, well, some people can never resist a challenge."

[OOC: Potentially to be continued in the comments.]

Edited 2017-08-05 15:23 (UTC)

Zoe Winchester	Zoe was mentally cursing herself for thinking that anything in Fandom could work normally, even a natural disaster, but it made her feel better to see so many people in the library. She looked around for an adult and smiled when she spotted Hardison. "I hate to sound desperate but please tell me the smart people here have come up with a good idea?" she said. "Maybe some kind of anti-shark gun hidden under the island that we just never noticed before?"
Hardison	"Uhh, no," Hardison said, giving Zoe a sheepish smile. "I mean, we do have an idea, but there ain't a hidden gun involved. At least, not that we know of?" He wished there were. That would have made sense. "You wanna sit down?" he suggested. For no reason whatever. "Maybe have someone bring you a coffee?" This boded super-well!
Zoe	"I'll have a seat, but I don't need a drink." She was definitely not feeling reassured here, that was for sure. "What have you all come up with?"
Hardison	"Uhh, so you ever heard of weakenin' hurricanes by usin' ice?" Hardison asked. "Coolin' the core off draws away power from the winds, makin' the hurricane less devastatin'. So we're gonna cool it down by throwin' a whole lotta ice at it." Leaving out a few details weren't ya, boyo?
Zoe	"I've never heard of this, but I also haven't been through many hurricanes in my time," Zoe said. "The science sounds like something that makes sense though. But where are we going to get enough ice from?" Sorry Hardison, she had to ask.
Hardison	"Well, we were thinking..." Hardison scrubbed his face. "Freezin' the sharks. An' then...throwin' them in there. To slow down the core. Right."
Zoe "You Cannot Be Serious" Winchester	Zoe was quiet for a long, long moment. "Freeze the sharks?" Zoe said. "And throw them?"
Hardison	"Yup," Hardison said with a sigh. "That's the big plan. Freeze a bunch of sharks, throw 'em into the hurricane, hope for the best." He raised his hands at Zoe and shook them. "Ta da?"
Zoe	There wasn't much Zoe could do in this moment but facepalm and wish she'd accepted that coffee, possibly laced with something alcoholic. "The worst part about this plan is that it isn't the craziest thing I've ever heard," she said, with a deep, resigned sigh. "You know, the sharks aren't exactly small, and I don't know how many folks with super strength we've got for throwing."
Hardison	He'd offered for a reason. "Naw. But we got some really smart folks. We can figure somethin' out. Folks who can fly, maybe? Or...or ballistas, maybe? Somethin'?"

[OOC: ALSO potential TBC in comments.]

Is that a... bloody baseball bat in his office? Know what, nevermind. Just holler for him.

To keep the sharks out.

Ahsoka was in fact around. Also smelling faintly of charred shark.

Hopefully the pot of caf she had on the go would distract people from the smell.

So no hopes for the guy asking about a janitor job, huh?

I mean, he'd probably have to fight Fosse for the job...

Zoe sighed again, and gave Hardison a small smile. "I'll talk to Anakin, maybe... we've got people who can fly planes and things, if they can't fly themselves. I just want you to know, I do appreciate all you smart people, even if this is a little high on the crazy."

Hardison's return smile was rueful. "Believe me, I know," he said. "Wish I had a less-crazy answer to give ya. But I made a model an' it does work, even under less optimal conditions."

Because he'd tried to factor in as many problems as he could think of to try to convince everyone that it was an untenable solution. And yet it had kept working.

Sometimes you just had to roll with it.

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Fandom High Library, All Day Saturday.

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