fandomhigh | Urban Survival - The Uglier Side of City Living, Wednesday, Period 2

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survival skills

Urban Survival - The Uglier Side of City Living, Wednesday, Period 2

"So, squatting," Sparkle said, feeling a little bit like he'd been hit by a bus and mostly just looking like he'd spent a few days drinking under one, "or homesteading - and I learned last night that you have to use both terms in your Google searches if you don't want to learn about cows or how to lift heavy boxes - is, by the most loose definition, the act of living on property that doesn't belong to you. You set up camp in an abandoned warehouse, or any building, you're squatting. You take up residence in a tent city, you're squatting. Since your other options are the shelters I talked about the other week or, like, praying you know somebody who'll let you couch surf, if you ever end up homeless you'll probably consider squatting."

He was gonna just... just sit down on the desk and try to scrape together enough brain for a lecture.

"You're gonna have to keep in mind a few things while you're squatting," he said. "For one, you're occupying property illegally, which means in the vast majority of places, depending on the laws of the land, you're putting yourself at risk of getting in trouble with the cops. The property owners probably aren't going to be so thrilled about having you there. And since this class is about urban survival, odds are you aren't the only person with an eye on the place or a mind to live there." He jerked a thumb toward town. "It's different on the island, where you can pretty much accidentally end up owning property just because somebody sneezed. Out there in the real world," because Fandom was still some kind of fucked-up fantasyland more often than not, "it doesn't quite work that way. Property is expensive. You have to pay taxes just to own it, and people tend to be protective of what's theirs. Plus, if you're looking to squat somewhere that you're less likely to get noticed, you're not exactly going to be living in the lap of luxury, either."

He lifted up a hand to idly scratch at his shoulder, looking toward the floor.

"You're going to have to protect yourself from, like, cops, sure. And angry landowners. And probably other squatters. An ideal situation is to be able to set up camp with a handful of people you can trust, maybe assign fixer-upper tasks between you to do things like change out locks or fix leaks or whatever else needs to be done to make a place livable. And you're probably not going to be the only tenants, because shit like rats and cockroaches want to come in out of the cold, too.

"You're going to want to know the laws where you're at, too, because they differ from place to place. In some cities it's still illegal to remove a squatter from your property by force and you have to actually go through proper eviction procedures. In other places it's just a matter of calling the cops to come pick squatters up. Aaaaand then there are some places where a combination of gun legislation and 'stand your ground' laws makes it legal for a landowner to, you know, fucking open fire on you. Maybe don't get shot."

Important lesson for the day, kids. Don't get shot.

"There's also this thing called adverse possession, which I'm not gonna get into too much today, again partly because it really depends on the laws wherever you're at and partly because I could basically just teach a whole damn semester about the weird legalities of taking legal possession of land that doesn't belong to you. It's worth giving a google if you're feeling ambitious, I guess. Pretty sure that's what a lot of business ownership around the island falls to, but don't quote me on that one."

He drummed his fingers against his knee. Sat quietly for a moment, composing thoughts. Scraping them together, really. He wasn't firing on all cylinders this week.

"You're going to want to know the difference between abandoned and condemned, too," he offered. "Never mind the rats and roaches, condemned buildings are condemned for a reason. They can be outright unsafe, a firetrap or likely to come down on top of you or collapse underfoot if you step on the wrong spot on the floor. And even though in some buildings the water might even still be running, that doesn't necessarily mean it's safe. You'll have to be careful about that."

And that was about the moment his brain gave up, and he sighed, shrugged, and reached for a stack of papers. Yes, yes they were printouts from WikiHow. Sometimes even Sparkle had to let someone else do the talking. After... a reasonably thorough full lecture.

"I've got handouts that explain some of this stuff better than I do," he shared. "Take one each, read up, maybe offer suggestions for safety or how to better assert control over a property that isn't yours or how to not get noticed by the cops or whatever."

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He'll, you know, attempt words. He's all responsible that way.

So Sparkle wasn't looking terribly focused today. And the radio had had a few comments earlier in the week about people checking up on him. Tip figured he probably didn't need yet another person asking him stupid questions, so instead of asking if he was okay, she spend some of the quieter time in the class drawing a quick sketch of someone with dark, spikey hair and eyeliner kicking a bunch of people in top hats, monocles, or pearls out of a castle while a bunch of raggedy looking punk kids partied on the ramparts.

She folded it into a little paper football and with the deadly accuracy that could only be learned spending time in public schools, flicked it at Sparkle's forehead as soon as class ended.

And Sparkle was out of it enough that the paper football hit its mark, and blinked him out of his... well... you had to actually be thinking about something for it to be a reverie, didn't you? It yanked him back to his senses, anyway, and he squinted for a moment before noticing the paper football and unfolding it.

...

"Okay," he said, smiling a little at the picture there, "this is totally going on my fridge."

Tip shot a victory text to J.Lo, then came up to show Sparkle the reply.

"J.Lo says he's glad I was able to make you smile."

J.Lo's reply was misspelled and heavily dependent on emojis, but clearly celebratory in nature.

Sparkle blinked at the phone, and then smiled a little bit more.

"Well, you tell J.Lo that I think he's good people."

And still had the most awesome name ever.

"Thanks, Tip. I kinda needed that."

"You're welcome." Tip shrugged. "It's all in the power of art to heal. Or at least distract."

"I'll take being distracted," Sparkle decided. "I'm one of those dumbasses who picks at scabs if I'm not distracted, anyway."

Or lights them on fire.

Don't light your scabs on fire. That was a bad idea.

"I thought it might be better than another sympathetic 'are you okay'. I tend to go a little nuts if too many people do that to me."

"Hey, I can live with that," Sparkle replied, shrugging. "Kinda obvious I'm not, anyway, isn't it?"

What with all the staring blankly and wanting to throw things at people he'd been doing today.

"I'd run out of lies if I had to start making up shit for everyone."

He wasn't very good at scraping up stories this week, anyhow.

"Little bit. But hey, you showed up anyway. And no movie day."

"Pretty sure if I were to have to come up with a movie we'd all be watching, like, The Littlest Hobo or something."

Which was less about homelessness and more about a dog.

Also, it was very Canadian.

Tip shook her head. "I don't know that one."

Being not Canadian. And from a world where Disney World was Happy Mouse Kingdom.

"It's a puppy dog adventure show," Sparkle replied, shrugging his shoulders a little. "Puppy dog adventures are about my speed if I throw in the towel right now, I think."

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It was hard to miss that Sparkle seemed off. Jalian wasn't exactly the caring type, but he'd done well by her. So, after class she came up to him.

"You need help?"

Sparkle blinked. And then he blinked again. And then kind of huffed out a little almost laugh and shrugged his shoulders up a little.

"I mean, I don't think there's much that's gonna fix what I've got going on at this point," he admitted. "But I appreciate the offer, Jalian."

What was she going to do? Go back to Toronto and tell Carla there'd been some kind of mistake?

"I'm good with knives. And engineering," she offered, in case that made a difference.

She would absolutely be willing to do that, but having a knife-wielding weirdo say that wasn't likely to hold much water.

Yeah, Parker hadn't really done much to sway Carla by being weirdly intimidating. He didn't figure Jalian and knives would do much better.

"It's weird family stuff," he said, finally. "I don't think knives or engineering are gonna solve that, really."

Jalian grimaced. "Family is stupid."

"Yeah," Sparkle agreed. "Family is pretty stupid. But hey, it's far away from here, so it's nothing I have to face down ever again. Just... something I have to wrap my head around, instead."

That was the hard part. He'd figured he had, and then the weekend happened and it all got dredged up again.

"Far away is best," Jalian said. "Family only sees what they expect, they don't see you. You just left?"

Leaving was good. She'd left. Further than anyone else could follow, she hoped.

"Not... not really." Sparkle shrugged his shoulders a little. "It's complicated. I was taken away from them when I was a little kid. I haven't seen any of them since."

Until the weekend, anyway.

Jalian frowned. "But you went back?"

She shook her head and made a cutting motion. "Not my business. But you shouldn't worry what strangers want, even if they are blood."

"Yeah," Sparkle sighed. "I know. I was convinced it would be a good idea, and it turns out I was wrong, and in the long run nothing really changes. I have just as much now as I did before I went back, I mean."

Which, sadly, didn't make it hurt less.

"So, lessons learned. Mistakes I won't make again."

"Good." Jalian nodded. "Making them again is stupid. If you can help it," she added, to be fair. "And you have lost nothing."

This was all good, Sparkle!

Still didn't feel so great, though. Sparkle nodded, and forced a little smile anyway.

"And life goes on, I guess."

It sucked and Sparkle wanted to punch life in the face.