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Practical Diplomacy, Friday

Anakin was, unsurprisingly to anyone who'd taken a class with him before, dressed in Jedi robes and glowering slightly from the front of the room. "This is Practical Diplomacy," he began.

"A rather important class, I would say, unless you would like to wind up as this nation's new President-elect," Obi-Wan provided, smiling faintly. "Throughout this course, we will discuss the practical ethical and diplomatic issues that spring up when you are dealing with a multitude of interests, some perhaps even international or interplanetary."

"That guy makes me seem subtle and unassuming," Anakin muttered. "We're going to start right in today with our first diplomatic issue," he said, passing out a worksheet. "A rogue nation--or planet, if that's more familiar to you--that is trying very hard to acquire weapons of mass destruction for reasons they aren't explaining to anyone. They are very isolated, but in a sector of the galaxy--or world--that is of military and economic value and are extremely anxious to make their presence felt."

"The planet's actions are making its neighbors anxious," Obi-Wan continued, "And your government believes they can be a genuine threat to its region."

"So you have been dispatched to meet with their delegation," Anakin said, "to convince them to stop their pursuit of these weapons. What would you offer in compensation? Or would you start immediately with threats?"

"Or, perhaps, do you engage on an even more subtle course?" Obi-Wan said. "We are curious to hear what you think. You may debate this among each other before you give an answer, as such powers often do."

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Like you're a world power.

Peridot

Ada Miller

Isabela

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Oooh, not!North Korea.

Discuss! Not just with the teachers, but with your classmates.

Peridot was coming a long way! She really was! She knew that the answer here was probably not to plant a massive geoweapon in the middle of their planet and wait for it to destroy the whole world while sitting safely somewhere far, far away.

Which mostly left her at a loss.

"Can we just put them in a big bubble and not let them out until they agree to play nicely?"

It worked for Gems, okay.

Obi-Wan considered it.

"No," he said. "Especially as they are keeping innocents hostage."

Huh. Peridot frowned a little, considering.

"Then... can we make a much smaller bubble and just keep the hostage-takers in that?"

A lot of her solutions were going to involve bubbling.

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"Clearly I would send a skilled negotiator to charm them into doing what I wanted," Isabela said, looking at Obi-Wan. "If that failed...pirate."

Isabela, no.

"Pirate?" Obi-Wan echoed. Dryly.

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Ahsoka grimaced as she read through the worksheet. Some of this sounded all to familiar.

"Aggressive negotiations?" She suggested.

Ahsoka, no.

"While sometimes useful," Obi-Wan said, repressing a smile, "You know full well aggressive negotiations are not always applicable."

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"Do we have a common enemy?" Tip asked. "Who . . . maybe has a severe allergy to something really commonly found on our planet?"

Look, it had worked really well the first time.

"For the purposes of this matter, no, we do not," Obi-Wan said. "In fact, the planet has officially been at war with one of our key allies for decades."

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"Why are we dealing with that country at all?" Hyacinthe asked, with all the worldly unconcern of someone who had no idea what a 'weapon of mass destruction' was nor how easily they could be acquired. "They're trying to get something. So go to the people they're asking for help and offer them things so they don't listen to the other country's diplomats."

"We are dealing with that country because it is developing weapons that could destroy a city - or even a nation - in one single blow," Obi-Wan said mildly. "And that is ignoring the fact the nation's innocent citizens are oppressed by a rather brutal regime."

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"Do they have other allies?" Mara asked. "They can't be this stubborn without someone backing them up. They would have starved to death, otherwise."

"They do," Obi-Wan agreed. "Though it is a grudging alliance. The country to their north is far more powerful, and willing to ignore their regime as long as they provide a buffer against other nations."

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"They're very isolated, but they got neighbors?" Ada asked, confused, kinda squinting at her worksheet. What was even a Korea?

"Do their neighbors have weapons too, or is this a new thing?"

"Their neighbors have weapons too," Obi-Wan agreed. "They are isolated because the regime has worked hard to cut their people off from all communications from elsewhere, and because most - not all - nations have decided to cut off diplomatic ties with them otherwise."

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A new semester, a new class.

Obi-Wan sat back and watched them, thoughtful.

Anakin was also watching them all, trying to peg the problem students early.

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Talk to the Teachers

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