fandomhigh | Avoiding Dealing With Your Problems, 1st Period

"Hey, some of you came back," Deadpool said once enough people wandered into the classroom. "Isn't that nice. It's almost like you have to for activity reasons."

Wade, c'mon. Don't point that shit out.

"Anywho," he continued, blithely ignoring the narrative. "I guess we should do something other than talk about how much we all like alcohol. Ooo, there's a class idea. No one explicitly told me I'm not allowed to put alcohol near you kids. I mean, sure it's common sense and all for a teacher, but sometimes we need these rules for a reason. And that reason should be me."

He just looked so proud about that. It was precious.

Once the moment passed, he waved his hands in the air like he just did not care. "Next time. Today we wiiiillllll... leeeeearn abooooout... shiiiiiiiit. This is harder than I thought it'd be. Eh, fuck it. Gonna wing this shit. We're gonna lie about our feelings. Today's exercise involves blatantly lying to yourself and others about how you feel. It's fun! And not at all slowly crippling your development as adults. You! Kid whose name I've already decided not to remember can start."

He paused and then stage whispered, "That literally means any of you."

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Feeeeeeeeling things.

It was a poorly planned ramble, to be honest. But this was what you signed up for, so...

Like a rug. Or is it lay? Fuck you, grammatically correct sentences!

Who did not have a latte today. Sadly.

I had a latte, though. Fuck yes.

Dante

"I super care about this class," Dante lied, smiling a smile so fake it actually managed to reach his eyes with its fakeness.

Isabela

Which earned him a round of sarcastic applause! "Oh man, I almost believed it. Said no one apart from the entire audience of Suicide Squad."

Dante sarcastically applauded him right back. "Wow," he said. "I really felt that zinger. Ouch. Burn."

"Well we can't all be Captain Try-Too-Hard," Deadpool replied like it was an inside joke. "Amiright? Up top!"

He really wanted that high-five from someone.

Dante tilted his head and squinted at that hand like he was trying to figure out if Deadpool had earned it or not.

"Offer is rapidly expiring."

Dante rolled his eyes very pointedly.

Then gave Deadpool a high five. Why the fuck not?

"This has been a bonding moment," Deadpool replied. "I'm a less dead Robin Williams and you're a usual level douchenozzle Matt Damon."

"You spent last night prepping for this class with Netflix, didn't ya?" Dante drawled.

"And by 'prepping' you meeeean...?"

Seriously giving him way too much credit, Dante.

"Wandering into the bad last-decade comedy queue and forgetting you had a class?"

Not at all.

"First if all, that isn't an actual series of recommendations, but if it was, I'd be all over that. Seriously. Van Wilder, American Pie, that one shitty parody series with Captain America... all of that."

"Never heard of 'em," said the jaded-on-the-young-end-of-the-millenial-range teenager.

Also the fourth-wall observing teenager.

Roscoe Kaan

Ooooooo, it was a fourth wall off!

"It's okay, maybe they had Dutch equivalents. I don't know."

No, like. He saw the fourth wall. It was right there. As opposed to Deadpool who looked right through it, the bastard.

"Right," Dante said.

"Well, this is awkward. Maybe if you just lean on the wall a lil'?" He suggested with a frown.

Kuzco

"I totally don't hate my roommate," Kuzco said. "Really. We're bonding or something."

"See, that's better than scene kid," Deadpool announced. Because there was no scary smiling.

"Is this a UST thing or a thing where I need to explain the process of disposing of a body? Because I've got practice there. Not much, because I usually just wander away to get paid."

"What's UST?" Kuzco asked, frowning. "Or am I going to totally regret asking you for actual information?"

"Did you like the furry thing?"

YEP.

Blue Sargent

Frank Doyle

"I can remember the name of more than one person in this room," Frank said.

The one person whose name he could remember was himself.

"I like this kid!" He really did. It was amazing.

"I'd ask if that's a lie, but I don't particularly care," Frank noted. "Or if I'm still supposed to be lying, then I care deeply."

Frank took a drink.

"NO I DID NOT," Kuzco yelled.

Kaylin Neya

"I'm not confused about anything at all that happens here."

Since this was something that was blatantly a lie about a huge number of things in Fandom, Kaylin figured it would count.

Avoiding Dealing With Your Problems, 1st Period - Friday 9/9

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