Writing the Great American (Romance) Novel, Thursday, Per 2

[glacial_queen]

Darkness help any new student meeting Karla for the first time in this class. The picture she presented to the incoming students was hardly professional; she was in loose, comfortable clothing that had clearly seen better days rather than her usual attire of severely-tailored suits, her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, with tendrils that she kept absently blowing away from her face, and her feet were firmly planted on her desk, her chair leaning back at an angle that looked fairly dangerous. Floating by her side was a platter of chocolate-covered fruit slices that oozed out honey. Her nose was firmly stuck in a book, the cover of which left very little to the imagination. And she didn't look up until the bell rang, setting the book aside with a fond sigh.

"So, romance novels," she said, kicking her feet off the desk and sitting upright to look at her assembled classroom. "Often panned and widely disparaged by critics, they're seen as light reading, fluffy, and often times things to be ashamed of." She might have glanced at Lucille if she was there and offered her a small smile as she said it. "That's utter bullshit, by the way. Yes, romance novels are complete wish-fulfillment and yes, some of them, written in earlier times, may have themes and situations that many people today find unhealthy or unpleasant, but romance novels are hardly the first or only genre that can be said about. They are, however, pure indulgence, which is something that ought to be celebrated, not condemned."

Karla had an entire rant saved up about how it was no surprise that it was a genre so heavily read and marketed to women that received such heavy criticism, but it was the first day of class and she figured she'd save that for another week.

"I'm not going to pretend that writing is easy--it's not. At least, not if you're doing it right. But that doesn't mean that it cannot be enjoyable as well, especially when writing on topics like love and romance. This class is going to mingle both the hard work of writing and the indulgence of reading into what hopefully is a harmonious whole. So, rule number one in class: be comfortable. Wear comfortable clothes, the kind of thing you'd lounge around in after a hard day. Of course, comfortable means something that you're comfortable wearing in front of others, so don't force yourself to wear something that will make you self-conscious around your peers just because it's comfy in your dorms. Rule two of this class: no apologizing for the things you like or dislike to read and write about and no guilt for them either. You're young, many of you are just discovering what it is that you like. This is an open space to explore that. However, the corollary to that is that not everyone is going to like what you like. Some people may be offended by it, which is their problem. Some people might be genuinely distressed by it, however, and that needs to be treated respectfully. We'll talk more about what that means later, but for now, just be as respectful and understanding as you would wish were the situations reversed. And the final rule of the class is: indulge without guilt. Enjoy things. Let yourself relax, eat the snacks I've provided without worrying about the calories, let go of the ideas that you can't enjoy yourself while you learn and work. You follow those rules and we'll all get along just fine."

Standing up, she crossed around to the front of her desk and perched on the edge. "So, it's introduction week and Darkness knows we can't forgo that. So! Name, class, why you signed up for this--if you did--and the plot of your favorite romance novel. If you don't have one of those, the plot of your favorite book. Or the book you read most recently. If none of those work for you, make something up. Once we're done with that, help yourself to the moddable treats I got from JGOB and some of the delicious tea I brought--today, your choices are chocolate orange and a lovely lavender hibiscus--and then pair up for the activity."

Comments

Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

"So, it's introduction week and Darkness knows we can't forgo that. So! Name, class, why you signed up for this--if you did--and the plot of your favorite romance novel. If you don't have one of those, the plot of your favorite book. Or the book you read most recently. If none of those work for you, make something up."

She's pointing at you, random student! Begin!

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[crimson_sister]

"My name is Lucille Sharpe. I signed up for this class as I very much enjoy reading, and would like to try my hand at writing myself. As for a plot... I find it hard to say which romace novel would be my favorite."

They were all very deep and poetic, though, Karla.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

Suuure they were.

"I know all too well the difficulties of choosing a favorite," Karla said, giving Lucille a welcoming smile. "Books can be like children in that respect, I suppose. Which would you recommend to me? Or which did you read most recently, if you'd rather not guess what I'd like."

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[crimson_sister]

Lucille glanced at Cassandra. "I was recently given this novel," she said, holding up the book Cassandra had bought for her in Val Royeaux. "I have not yet finished it, but so far it is quite exciting." And romantic. And safe, as Karla had most likely not read it.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

Hadn't yet was the correct way of putting it.

"Well, what's it about?" Karla asked. "What makes it exciting?"

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[dwarvenswagger]

"My name is Thorin, son of Thrain," he said with a polite little incline of his head. "I believe I am called a senior now."

High school was just weird with grades like that, okay?

"I suppose I might choose The Tale of Beren and Lúthien if I must. It is a story of love and sacrifice."

And featured Elves. Which sort of detracted from it, but whatever. There were Silmaril in it.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

"Hello Thorin," Karla said, giving him a polite nod in return. He seemed very formal, she could draw on the dregs of what regality still remained and offer it back. "Do they both die at the end?" she asked. "Or does one outlive the other to mourn for all eternity?"

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[dwarvenswagger]

He was hella majestic. Shame he was only 5'2", though. Kinda put a damper on all that ballin' Dwarven majesty.

But who cared. Tolkien barely cared about the Dwarves. Like a teenage fangirl in the time of the LotR movies... elves or gtfo.

"Beren was of the race of Men, yes. He died in his quest to win the approval to wed Lúthien and the Elf maiden not long after of a broken heart. Whilst in the halls of her Maker, her grief so moves him so that he allows the pair to live a mortal life together."

Also there was a talking dog in there. The actual shit was that about?

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

But one day he'd meet a boy even shorter and find true love and all the majesty he wanted.

Until he went crazy over a rock. You do you, Thorin.

"Wait, why did Beren have to win the approval to wed his girlfriend?" Karla asked. In fairness, her idea of elves was highly colored by Leda, the only elf she knew.

Sorry, Tolkien.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[good_for_six]

"Isabela, I think I'm a senior now, and I guess if I had to pick it'd be Hessarian's Spear," she said, innocent as a newborn babe.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

Someone Karla hadn't met before! "Hello, Isabela," Karla said warmly, though she couldn't quite hide the wicked grin when she heard the title of the story. "What's it about?" she asked. "And if that title isn't a pun, I'm going to be a little disappointed."

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[good_for_six]

"Oh it's much easier just to recite the description," Isabela said, still full of innocence. "Andraste knelt before no man but her Maker, but she hadn't counted on the Archon Hessarian. Can Hessarian penetrate the tight-knit defences of the warrior-prophetess? Will she be prepared to face the full blast of his power?"

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

Karla's eyebrows shot straight up to her hairline. "My, that sounds like a novel full of religious import," she said, trying not to laugh, but with dimples that were very deep. "And how does Andraste fare against this...Archon? Does she bend over backwards for him? Or does she have hidden depths left to plumb?"

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[seeks_truth]

And here Cassandra thought Anders would bring her to the heights of stink-eye. But nope.

If she could have incinerated Isabela with her mind, well, she certainly looked like she wanted to.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[intotheout]

"I'm Gratuity," Tip said. "Still not a stripper name. I'm a freshman. I want to be a writer and Mom likes to send me romance novels in care packages, so this seemed like a pretty good class to take. The last few have all been paranormal ones, but my favorites are usually the historical ones. Not, like, 'time-travel to old timey Scotland' ones, though, you know, they can be fun, but the 'ordinary shop girl in the Blitz finds love as a land girl' kind of ones."

Tip's life was plenty weird enough. She liked reading about normal people for her escapism.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

"I can tell you right now that I've made the acquaintance of several strippers and none of them were named Gratuity," Karla said with a laugh. "So you're safe there, at least in my classes. Good to see you back, Gratuity. So, you like historical, but in the past...oh, seventy to a hundred years or so? Close enough to contemporary life to feel real, if slightly dated?"

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[intotheout]

"Yeah." Tip hadn't quite defined it that way in her head yet, but it made sense as an explanation. "The older stuff kind of feels like really depressing fantasy, sometimes."

RE: Introduce Yo'self!

[not_every_mage]

"I'm Anders, and I'm also a senior now," Anders said. "I'm here because I like you as a teacher and I've liked the writing classes I've taken. My favorite romance is probably The Rose of Orlais. It's about a noblewoman and the chevalier who keeps rescuing her."

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

"And I enjoyed you as a student," Karla said warmly. "I'm glad to see you back, Anders."

She meant in the classroom, but if she'd known of his jaunt to Thedas, she would have meant it that way, too, most emphatically. "Tell me about this noblewoman and her chevalier. What kind of trouble does she keep getting into that she needs rescuing from?"

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[not_every_mage]

"She's headstrong," Anders said. "Doesn't like acting like a proper lady or being told what to do. A lot of the time she gets away with it, but when she doesn't, she's lucky the chevalier tends to show up just in time. Not that she doesn't get him out of a jam or two along the way."

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[crimson_sister]

Lucille had hardly met Anders, but she trusted Cassandra's opinion of people, and so she had already decided she didn't like him. Which made it annoying that he liked the novel that she had mentioned too, and which Cassandra had given her. For this, Anders got a displeased look, which might be unexpected, unless he knew she was Cassandra's friend.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[not_every_mage]

Anders didn't keep track of Cassandra's friendships, so he wasn't sure what was behind Lucille's eyes. He returned the Look with one as confused as it was annoyed, and mouthed "What?".

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[seeks_truth]

It was very hard to come up with a proper introduction when you were seething, as it turned out. "My name is Cassandra Pentaghast," Cassandra all-but-snapped. "I am a senior, and I signed up for this because I believed it would be a proper evaluation of a genre that has touched the hearts of many."

SHE DID NOT SOUND VERY PLEASED WHILE SAYING THIS, MIND YOU.

"My favorite series is the Shieldmaiden series. That is all."

She would have given a plot description, but too much seething.

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[glacial_queen]

"Hardly all," Karla objected mildly. She noted the seething, but she chose to ignore it unless it manifested. "I don't know these books. What are they about? What makes you like them?"

Re: Introduce Yo'self!

[seeks_truth]

"They are about a shieldmaiden who sets off to fight dragons," Cassandra said. Matter of factly. It was the only way not to externalize the seething further. "As she does so, she falls in love with a boy, but their love is deeply forbidden. I enjoy the main character's great passion for all she sets her eyes on."

Funny. All Cassandra appeared to be setting her eyes on - when she wasn't looking disapprovingly at all the hovering crockery - was Anders' skull and how to burn a hole in it.