fandomhigh | Working With Jerks, Wednesday, May 18, 2016 [3rd period]

If Steve and Tony looked annoyed at their current ensemble, it was because they were. Do you know how hard it is to navigate stairs with two people in the same shirt? Very. Especially when neither one will stop bitching.

But this was for teamwork. And teeth would be gritted to get through it to teach their class A Very Important Lesson.

"Hi," Tony said, smiling like he didn't have the urge to elbow Steve in the stomach if he didn't stop moving. Okay, so the smile was a little manic on the edges. Sue him. "This looks ridiculous, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Steve answered for them, "but apparently this is a tactic used to improve teamwork." By stupid people, his face finished for him.

"I don't even know how someone came up with it," Tony muttered under his breath like the only child he was. He cleared his throat and continued on like he was perfectly poised despite... everything happening. "Sometimes a little enforced closeness can help overcome interpersonal friction. And we're going to put that to a test with you all."

Those were some five dollars words that someone had totally picked up from the bullshit corporate retreats he'd been forced on.

Would they talk about synergy and vision statements while forcing the students to sit through Powerpoint slides that they'd read aloud like the words weren't there in front of them? Darn right, they would. Because working with jerks also meant sitting through terrible, terrible "team building" exercises. As a team.

Tony felt the Powerpoint was especially insidious.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"If not, I'll buy you more," Tony snapped. And then make silent sad faces because he wasn't rich anymore.

Poor, poor Tony.

"I'll even sacrifice one of my shirts."

"I'm not sure they'd fit, but thanks," Steve said. "I think that creepy squirrel is stealing them from me."

That first part was kind of needlessly bitchy, Steve.

Oh, so that was how they were gonna play?

"I thought you loved super tight shirts." Tony. "I thought all of them were a little creepy."

"True," Steve said, jaw clenching slightly. "They have no concept of privacy at all."

Wait until you see all the bugs in your DC apartment, Steve. You'll miss the squirrels.

SHIELD just wanted intimate knowledge about his life. No big deal. No need to get paranoid about it.

"I honestly though one getting fried by the generators of the shop would have scared them off."

"Did that happen accidentally or sort of on purpose?" Steve asked.

"Accident!" He was honestly hurt by the implication. Really. So hurt. Ignore the smile. "They've never stolen my clothes, after all."

"I texted Natasha about it this morning--" look at Steve, texting, "--and she volunteered to go shopping with me this weekend. Unnaturally quickly."

"Maybe I should have her number. For emergencies."

Or to text 'I'M BURNING HIS KHAKIS, PLEASE DON'T LET HIM BUY MORE'.

"Probably a good idea," Steve said, wriggling around a bit in the stupid shirt as he tried to get his phone out. "I have Jan's and T'Challa's already from your side..."

Tony just tilted his head to transfer the number over to his own phone. Because he was trying to be polite about his tech stalking of his friends. "I wouldn't be surprised if Jan gives your number to everyone."

"It would explain the number of funny cat pictures I'm getting," Steve admitted.

Tony just sighed. "I really hope she hasn't gotten Vision hooked on memes."

"...did I meet Vision?" Steve asked, pursing his lips.

"Not yet." Tony wriggled a little to peer over at Steve's phone to bring up a picture of his colorful, colorful teammate. "He's... nice. Still figuring out the whole humanity thing."

"Interesting cape choice," Steve went with. "Not from around here either? Like Thor?"

"Capes are in this season." Lies. "He's an android, actually."

Steve arched up an eyebrow. "Did you make him?"

"I did not," Tony replied, making a tiny bit of a face. "It's a... sort of a long story."

"Well, we've got time," Steve said, yanking at the shirt a bit.

It was rude to ask this while Tony couldn't escape. It was just rude.

"Well, hopefully you miss out on this one because Ultron was mostly Hank's baby." Mostly. "Long story short, pacifist robot learned how to be violent and decided to kill us all. And then made another android named Vision who decided he didn't want to kill us all."

Sometime next year, Steve was going to shout 'SONNOVABITCH' about this.

Probably while shaking a fist because Steve was a drama llama that way.

"So Ultron made Vision and Vision...beat Ultron?"

Who named these things?

Nerds named them, Steve. Nerds.

"Yep. Vision is sort of... Hank's intellectual grandson?" It was super awkward because Ultron, who was based on Hank's brainwaves, did attempt to kidnap Jan to transfer her brain patterns into Jocasta. Who was meant to be his robot bride.

Yeah. Just. Yeah. Just be glad Tony didn't go into detail on that pile of crazy.

Hank needed alllllllllll the therapy. Jeebus.

"That seems awkward," Steve said, blinking a lot.

"Hank--" Tony cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably. "Hank had left the team before Vision was created. The stress of our lives wasn't--well, he had been a pacifist for most of his life."

Which ended with a nervous break down. Followed by a disassociative state where he was the hyper violent version of himself. So, honestly, Steve's Hank sort of got off lucky?

Which was another source of guilt for Tony and Jan, to be honest.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

heroic_jawline - 2016-05-20 12:14 (UTC) - Expand

imafuturist - 2016-05-20 12:24 (UTC) - Expand

heroic_jawline - 2016-05-21 15:13 (UTC) - Expand

imafuturist - 2016-05-21 15:59 (UTC) - Expand

heroic_jawline - 2016-05-21 16:02 (UTC) - Expand

imafuturist - 2016-05-21 16:11 (UTC) - Expand

heroic_jawline - 2016-05-21 16:15 (UTC) - Expand

imafuturist - 2016-05-21 16:53 (UTC) - Expand

heroic_jawline - 2016-05-22 15:06 (UTC) - Expand

imafuturist - 2016-05-22 15:12 (UTC) - Expand

heroic_jawline - 2016-05-22 15:33 (UTC) - Expand

imafuturist - 2016-05-22 15:39 (UTC) - Expand