fandomhigh | Ethics, Wednesday, September 23, 2015, 2nd period

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Ethics, Wednesday, September 23, 2015, 2nd period

Do you have a bad feeling, class? Do you? You should! It's terrifying droid baby week! Hooray!

Anakin was currently holding a particularly cranky baby as it wailed. "Welcome back, class."

"Every semester, we run a class about parental responsibilities," Obi-Wan said smoothly. "Child-rearing is a path that takes great care and commitment, though it is often rewarding. To nurture such a young being into adulthood is to be conscious, always, of the values you choose to pass along, and how to do so."

"As we rediscovered last week, our formative experiences directly contribute to how we see and interact with the world around us," Anakin said, carefully placing the baby back in its carrier, "and while it is natural as humans to make mistakes, the ones we make with small children have lasting, sometimes irrevocable effects. Here in Fandom, surrounded by many people eager to help, abundant food, water, and climate-control, your babies should be off to a good start."

"We have formed pairs," Obi-Wan continued. "Bar one of you. It will be your responsibility to treat these 'children' well, and to attempt to instill in them some manner of basic values. Kindness. Consideration. Affection."

"Not biting people," Anakin added a little dryly. "And that goes for you as well. If you're going to whine about this assignment, do it where I can't hear it."
'
"We will be monitoring your efforts. You may return the babies to us in class next week, unless there are unforseen circumstances." Obi-Wan smiled. "And no, 'I barely get any sleep' is no unforseen circumstance."

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Having a bad feeling about this.

Or try to sneak out the door before they notice.

Protip: They'll notice.

Edited 2015-09-23 12:50 (UTC)

Each lifelike, life-size (20 1/2 inches) vinyl baby weighs 6.5 pounds. It is anatomically correct because Anakin is thorough that way. An internal computer simulates an infant crying at realistic, random intervals 24 hours a day. Intervals can be adjusted from 15 minutes to 6 hours for a normal, cranky, or particularly easy to care for baby.

Each student is also given a non-transferable key attached to a hospital bracelet on his or her wrist that must be inserted in the baby for a specific length of time to simulate feeding, bathing, diaper-changing and comforting. Care sessions last from 5 to 35 minutes. If the baby has been properly cared for, it will coo to signal the end of the session. If it is neglected (allowed to cry for more than one minute) or handled roughly (dropped, thrown or struck), tamper-proof indicators on the computer will alert Anakin and Obi-Wan.

You don't want to alert Anakin and Obi-Wan.

And your baby girl! Give her a name!

And your baby boy!

And your girl!

And your baby boy!

They will not babysit.

There might have been cackling when the randomizer struck.

Isabela

Of course Isabela wasn't headed for the door. The door was the obvious escape route.

She was going for the window instead.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat.

Politely.

It was adorable that Obi-Wan thought that was going to stop her.

That she was having trouble getting the window open on the other hand, that was a problem.

Maria DeLuca

Obi-Wan waved his hand helpfully. The window locked more thoroughly. "Please attend to your child," he said. "He seems rather upset."

Maria wasn't even sure what she was supposed to do with a baby.

Jasper Dent

Jasper didn't try to leave but he sure didn't look too pleased with things.

Isabela considered breaking the window. This was why she should bring her picks to class.

She crossed her arms and turned towards Obi-Wan, an arch expression on her face.

"Your child," she said. "I had nothing to do with creating it. That was all you two. So if you want to palm off responsibility, go find a chantry."

Edited 2015-09-23 13:36 (UTC)

"Nice try," Obi-Wan said mildly, "But you are not getting out of this by giving us an attitude, either. It is only a week, not a lifetime."

For someone with Isabela's unresolved parental issues, a week may as well have been a lifetime.

"It's not an attitude to point that saddling your unwanted creations on who have no interest or experience in parenting under the guise of teaching them a lesson about caring for children is highly hypocritical."

"They are instructional tools created for this particular purpose," Obi-Wan said. "There is no hypocrisy here."

He pointed at the baby assigned to her and raised his eyebrows at her. "This is not a discussion."

Since in Isabela's experience the phrase 'not a discussion' was usually accompanied by things like 'don't talk during parties', 'stop wearing trousers at the dinner table', 'go to your room until you can act civilised', 'we're not getting divorced', and 'I'm joining the Qun', shockingly it didn't make her more amenable.

Arms still crossed, she sat down as far away from the droid as was possible and raised her eyebrows at Obi-Wan.

...Who simply picked up the baby and put it down in front of her.

He did not care if she was amenable. She would partake in this exercise.

Isabela made absolutely no movement to pick it up or do anything.

See if she wrote any stories where you got laid after this, Obi-wan.

Obi-Wan would just have to settle for the millions of stories already written about him during the Clone Wars.

Which he would have loved to set on fire, so.

"He is yours," Obi-Wan said, "and you will not be leaving this classroom without him."

Then he turned and walked back to the front of the class.

In that case she'd be writing all the stories where he got laid.

And she would totally be trying to leave without the baby.

It wasn't really a case of get in Isabela's case...

Merrill

. . . yeah, Merrill thought the droid baby was adorable. Make of that what you will.

Lottie Grote

Lottie had heard of this sort of assignment in the American Media, but never thought she would actually get to participate! She anticipated mad antics and hilariously bad parenting!

It would occur to her later that a) it wouldn't be over in half an hour and b) bad parenting was not so hilarious when it was actually happening. But for now, she was well excited!

"How about . . ." Lottie mused. "Esmeralda Moonshine!"

No one should ever give an excitable fourteen year old naming rights to a human.

And Obi-Wan was keeping an eye on you, Isabela.

Gwen Stacy

"...Sure, that'll work," said Gwen, who was too busy staring at the baby to care. "Oh god why is it like this."

"I think it's to convey the full an' proper horror of underage pregnancies," Lottie said cheerfully. "Traumatize us with the alien robot babies so we're completely untempted to make one for ourselves."

"No, I mean why does it look terrifying," Gwen frowned. "Do babies actually look this scary? And people keep them anyway?"

"Sometimes," Lottie said. "Most people are too nice to say so, but plenty of babies are WELL UGLY."

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Ethics, Wednesday, September 23, 2015, 2nd period

Sign in 9/23

Listen to the lecture

Get your droid baby!

Re: Get your droid baby: Gwen & Lottie

Re: Get your droid baby: Jasper & Maria

Re: Get your droid baby: Merrill & Alluka

Re: Get your droid baby: Isabela

Talk to Anakin or Obi-Wan

OOC

Re: Sign in 9/23

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Sign in 9/23

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Get your droid baby: Jasper & Maria

Re: Sign in 9/23

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Get your droid baby: Isabela

Re: Sign in 9/23

Re: Get your droid baby: Merrill & Alluka

Re: Sign in 9/23

Re: Listen to the lecture

Re: Get your droid baby: Gwen & Lottie

Re: Talk to Anakin or Obi-Wan

Re: Sign in 9/23

Re: Get your droid baby: Gwen & Lottie

Re: Get your droid baby: Gwen & Lottie

Re: Get your droid baby: Gwen & Lottie

Re: Get your droid baby: Gwen & Lottie