Outdoor Adventure Time!, part 2, Tuesday, period 1

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Class today met at the docks this week, with the usual heads up to wear bathing suits and bring sunscreen. There was a large number of brightly colored personal watercrafts just off the end of the dock.

"For our last class of the summer, Parker and I wanted to do something special," Eliot said. "You guys have been enthusiastic and willing to try just about anything. We couldn't have asked for a better group."

“You really have.” Parker was so glad nobody was graduating and leaving or anything. “So you get to zoom around on the water! With motorized skis!” She beamed at them. “And then barbecue!... Try not to run over each other, okay?”

"We'd prefer not to end the summer with injuries. Which is why you're all gonna be wearing life jackets, too." Eliot would accept no negotiations on that. "You can double up or go it alone, but not more than two people per jet ski. And no going out so far you can't still see the docks. We've got some buoys set up out there if you want to try maneuvers. Otherwise, just have fun, yeah?"

“And remember to sign up for our next class!” … whatever that was going to be.

Comments

Re: Talk to the teachers

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Hey, Kathy wouldn't judge! She'd spent a few years nursing a crush on a guy about a decade or so her senior.

...It was probably a good thing that she was only hearing about Eliot and Hardison's age gap now that she pretty much over said crush.

"You know, you must have had a birthday sometime since I've known you and yet I don't remember hearing anything about it," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. Because obviously he'd want his students to come to his birthday. Obviously.

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Eliot shrugged. "Back in April. There were other things goin' on at the time, so we didn't do anything." He looked over. "How 'bout you? I haven't heard about any swingin' parties for you or anything."

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"My birthday's not until December, so it usually gets wrapped in with Christmas," Kathy said, grimacing slightly. Maybe one day she'd throw a birthday party for herself. One day. "But I'm not really the swinging party type. Thinking about maybe having a slumber party or something kinda soon? I've never had one of those, either, and they always seemed like fun on TV, you know?"

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"The TV I watched never had a lot of slumber parties in it," Eliot said.

You know, other than the occasional porn. Which Eliot knew better than to take as anything even remotely approaching fact.

"But I bet it'd be fun. You're friends with that Raven girl, right? I bet she'd love to help you organize somethin'."

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"Somehow, I'm unsurprised to hear slumber parties didn't make up a large percentage of your TV viewing experience," Kathy said wryly.

Except for porn, probably, not that she was going to say that.

"And, yeah. Raven and I are friends. Gonna be roomies in the fall." She should figure out whose room they were moving into, hmm. "I bet she would. Probably make it way cooler than it would be otherwise."

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"Pretty sure the important part is that you have fun, not that it's cool," Eliot said, like the dad he essentially already was.

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"...Says a guy who was probably effortlessly cool in high school," Kathy said, amused.

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"I was a white quarterback in the southern United States," Eliot said. "And I still managed to destroy all that by signing up for Home Ec."

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"Fucking toxic masculinity," Kathy growled. "Err, sorry. I've been swearing more since we got back."

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"'Sfine by me," Eliot said, eyebrow raised. "Just glad you're not calling me a 'cocksucker'. The hell is 'toxic masculinity'? Or am I going to regret asking that?"

Re: Talk to the teachers

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You so were, Eliot, absolutely. That being said, look how happy Kathy was to explain it to you! Her eyes lit up and everything!

"It's one of the ways the patriarchy is actively harming men," she explained earnestly. "Okay, so you know how femininity is belittled in our culture? Well, masculinity is pretty rigidly defined and anything that doesn't align with that is categorized as being feminine, which is Bad For Boys. Unfortunately, a lot of the markers for traditional masculinity are toxic in and of themselves--aggression, the need to be dominant, violent, sexually demanding, unemotional, and all that nonsense. It puts guys into very strict and specific roles, most of which are unhealthy, and then penalizes them for stepping out of said roles."

Social Justice Warrior!

Re: Talk to the teachers

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. . . She realized she just basically described Eliot, right? Well, except the sexually demanding bit. He was a fan of enthusiastic consent on that front.

"O . . . kay," Eliot said. "You know some of us are actually naturally like that, though, right?" He hadn't been recruited to black ops because he wasn't naturally aggressive, violent, and unemotional.

(Hardison and Parker would likely argue with the 'unemotional' bit there. Especially after last week.)

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"Well, one could argue that you've been socialized from a very young age to be that way," Kathy countered. "Or were you never told to stop crying as a kid? To man up, stop being such a little girl--a little bitch--about things? Or told to settle your problems with someone the old-fashioned way, which involved going out back somewhere and punching them until...I don't know, something was supposed to happen?"

You'd been born and bred to be a good ol' boy, Eliot. Kathy was willing to bet she'd barely scratched the surface of stuff like that you'd heard growing up.

"But even if that's not true, even if you came out of the womb wanting to drink beer, get into fights, and watch sports, that doesn't mean that every guy should be held to that same standard. Or somehow considered to be less than a man because he doesn't."

If Hardison were here, he'd be giving Eliot so many amused looks right now.

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"Alright, but -- It ain't like --" Eliot wasn't sputtering, you're sputtering. "You been plotting with Hardison to gang up on me or somethin'?"

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Iiiiinteresting.

"Sure, if by 'plotting with Hardison' you mean 'being part of third-wave feminism,'" Kathy said, eyebrows almost up to her hairline. "Why, what has Mr. Hardison been saying?"

Re: Talk to the teachers

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"Nothing."

He was just all emotionally available and careful to make sure that Eliot had safe spaces for when the repression he grew up with failed and everything came spilling out, that was all.

"I mean, look, I ain't gonna say that all the football worship and all I grew up with wasn't screwed up. And my pop ain't gonna win any father of the year awards. And yeah, it ain't like I didn't end up goin' down some particularly screwed up rabbit holes 'cause I was good hittin' people without feelin' anything." But what was he arguing again? "Ain't you got a jet ski to go zippin' around on or something?"

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"Already been," Kathy said, beaming. "Did you see what Parker got me?" She raised her knee up to her chest and showed off the anklet that glittered there. "I don't know much about jewelry, but doesn't it practically look real?"

Oh, Kathy, you sweet summer child.

Re: Talk to the teachers

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"Oh yeah." She really was just adorable, wasn't she. "Just like. You'll be the best dressed crime fighter in Baltimore."

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"Oh, I couldn't wear them into Baltimore! They're too pretty! What if they fall off? But everywhere else..." She dropped her leg, still beaming. "All my jewelry comes from Claires, but this could have come from a really upscale jewelry store!"

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"Parker wouldn't spend that kind of money on jewelry." What? It was true. "She does know her gems, though."

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Kathy nodded, relieved. There was no reason for Parker to spend money on her at all, especially not a lot of money. And that's what Eliot meant, right? That she hadn't spent a lot on this because it was just some classy cubic zirconia?

That's how Kathy was going to take it, please and thank you.

"So, have you decided what you two will be teaching next semester?" she asked, still somewhat distracted by how damn shiny her anklets were.

Spaaarkly.

Re: Talk to the teachers

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"Three. We're gonna all join forces this time around." They might even manage to stop bickering long enough to get a class done every week. "Figured we'd do something about teamwork."

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"Oh, that sounds cool!" Kathy said, then paused. "Though, with three of you, you probably won't need a TA, will you?"

At least not an official one.

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"Probably not," Eliot said apologetically. "But I'm sure you can find another teacher who'd love to have you pitch in for them, if you're worried about your transcripts."

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"Oh, right. Transcripts." Kathy shrugged. "Probably. But, you know, it was fun, too. TAing for you guys."