fandomhigh | Adventuring!

Once again, class would be held in the Danger Shop. Because there was a Danger Shop and no self-respecting hacker nerd like Hardison would be able to forgive themself for holding a class anywhere but the Danger Shop if that was a possibility. Today, however, when the class opened the door into the Danger Shop, they'd find themselves in a tavern called The Thief and Hitter, a name that made him smile every time he looked at it. Anyone familiar with epic fantasy movies or video games would feel right at home, with the scarred wooden tables, the roaring fire with a pig roasting on a spit, and a thickly-muscled barkeep standing behind a long wooden counter while several pretty ladies (and a few pretty lads, too, Hardison was equal-opportunity) waited tables, bringing over battered metal tankards filled with brown ale and heaping plates of mutton and bowls of stew. If the barkeep looked like the manager of a local diner on one of his surlier days and if one of the blonde serving girls was helping herself to money pouches, well, surely those were coincidental.

There was one empty table remaining that had just the right number of seats for the number of students in class. How fortuitous!

Hardison waited until everyone had taken a seat before speaking up. "Ahh, the tavern," he said, drawing their attention to one of the tall, wingback chairs in front of the fire. He peeked around the side and gave the class a smile. "Traditional starting place of many an adventure. Whether you're a seasoned adventurin' party or ain't even a group yet, the tavern's a great place to get somethin' to eat, swap stories, an' keep an ear out for opportunities for gainful employment. Funny, most of said 'gainful employment' usually involves goin' out into the wilderness somewhere an' riskin' life an' limb to steal stuff from the local green-skinned population, but hey. Them enchanted weapons won't pay for themselves."

Standing up, he moved to join the class at the table, snagging a stool on the way. "So, welcome to Adventurin'! Yes, the exclamation point is part of the class title. If you were hopin' for a class that involved runnin' around in the woods an' jumpin' offa high stuff, that's Outdoor Adventures, run by my crew, Eliot an' Parker. Sorry for the confusion, but they probably got room for you if you wanna sign up late or whatever. This class ain't about hikin' an' explorin' the great outdoors. It's about discoverin' the five great adventure game archetypes an' figurin' out which one suits you best, occasionally while usin' your various skills to get past obstacles." And they wouldn't all be various fights, though Hardison wasn't going to share that just yet.

"But today is for introductions. Now, about half'a you know me--an' welcome back--but for those of you who don't, my name is Hardison. Don't worry about callin' me Mr. or Professor or none of that, just Hardison'll do. This is Raven," he added, gesturing to her seat at the table. "She's my TA for the semester. Now, from alla you, what I'd like is your name an' grade, why you signed up for this class, an' how much experience you have with epic fantasy media, of any variety. Books, movies, video games, RPGs, whatever, you name it. If you can, feel free to tell me your favorite character class an' why. If you ain't sure what I mean about classes, just tell me your favorite character from any media an' what it is you like about 'em--specifically, what they do that's so cool. That make sense?"

Just as the last of the introductions and explanations were over, a stout, well-armored dwarf woman reached down to her belt for her money pouch, only to discover it missing. "Thief!" she shouted, pointed to the man next to her, and took a swing. Within seconds the entire tavern was engulfed in a brawl. The only spot of relative calm was around the table of students. "Uh-oh," Hardison said, though he was grinning. "Looks like there's a big fight between y'all and the exit. Looks like you need to find a way to get outta here, whether you wanna fight your way out, sneak out, or find another way. Good luck!"

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Raven shrugged. "I liked fairy tales when I was little, and I like ghost stories and old castle romances and intrigues and things like that. Charles tried to get me to read of some Tolkien's stuff but I couldn't really get into it. I've lived in holes in the ground; they're not that charming."

Someone never got out of the shire in her reading, no.

"I really liked Mervyn Peake's books, though. I used to go crawling around up in the eaves back home, looking for secret attics and passageways."

Had Raven mentioned to you that she grew up in a castle yet, Hardison? Okay, so technically it was an English manor styled mansion, but it was totally really a goddamn castle.

No, funny, Raven had neglected to mention that!

...He must never tell Parker, or she'd find some way to get them to go back in time and rob the Xaviers blind.

"Yo, for extra credit, I'mma totally make you watch the first Lord of the Bracelets movie," Hardison declared. "Won't help you much for class, even though Wizards of the Coast pretty much stole everything from Tolkien at least for first edition, but it should be mandatory viewin' for damn near everybody."

Raven looked pretty put out at the idea of homework over the summer, but nodded anyway. "Fine," she said. "But I'm not going to pretend to like it if I don't."

That really wouldn't end up being a problem. She'd skipped over all the stuff that had been copying it for the last 60 years, after all, and hadn't gotten around to the stuff it was copying, so it wouldn't even be old hat to her.

"Do they have a movie of the Gormenghast books, too?"

"A miniseries," Hardison said. "Done by the BBC. I ain't seen it in years, but I remember it being not too terrible?" He didn't sound entirely certain of that, though. "You want, I can probably scounge up a copy of it for you."

After she finished Lord of the Bracelets. Culture came first!

"An', girl, when have I ever made it seem like I wanted you to lie to me? If you don't like, we gonna throw down about why your taste in movies is terrible, but that'll be fun, too."

Raven snorted. "I have fantastic taste. It's Hollywood that's gone down hill. That's why they keep trying to remake all the old movies."

"Yeah, because Citizen Krane was sooooo thrilling," Hardison said, rolling his eyes. "Oh! Oh! We could get a remake of Left With The Breeze because if there's one thing we need to see, it's a three hour tale of how hard the Civil War was on white folks."

"Citizen Krane is a work of art," Raven said with great dignity. "It's absolutely gorgeous; it doesn't need to be thrilling. I'm with you on Left With the Breeze though. That was pretty boring." And yes, when she got around to looking at it again with her newly modern and progressive sensibilities, she'd notice it was super racist, too.

"Well, watch King of the Bracelets an' enjoy a movie that's both gorgeous an' thrillin'," Hardison told her. "Welcome to the future, where we combine art an' entertainment."

"Yeah, yeah," Raven grumbled goodnaturedly. "Whippersnapper."

Adventuring!

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