fandomhigh | Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

Today, Parker was in black again. And looking very perky, outside a Danger Shop- created door.

“Something a little different from last week. There will not be cake. Sadly.”

Eliot tried not to facepalm in front of the students. This was going to be a Thing all semester, wasn't it. "Last week you all proved you're completely nuts," he said. "Except for Amy." STAIRS WERE A VALID LIFESTYLE CHOICE. "This week, we're going to see how you do getting out of a situation when you can't just leap off the side of a building."

Parker opened the door to reveal… a large storage closet. Paint buckets, a bookcase piled with tools of varying usefulness, and one small lit light-bulb were evident-- as was an air-duct with a small grate across it, just above head-height.

“We have enough closets for everybody. Or you can team up, and be locked in together. Object: get out of here before whoever put you in here comes back!”

"That's a simulated 'whoever'," Eliot noted. "We don't mean us." They weren't the bad guys in the class scenario. This time. "Once you're out, head for the room at the end of this hall." Eliot pointed to another closed, presumably locked door. "Where there will be something that isn't cake." You're welcome, Parker. "If you choose to team up, every person on the team has to make it, or you all fail."

“So don’t mess this up!... or stay in there just ‘cause it’s fun. I’m looking at some of you. You know who you are.” Or not.

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"We don't need to call Hardison," Eliot said. "Yet."

Well, at least he was willing to admit it was a possibility.

He hovered his hand between the NPC and NSFW options for a few moments, considering. "He uses these all the time," he said. "Pretty sure one of 'em is for the bad guys in those games he's always playin'."

"Yes!" Parker had no idea which one though. "We could ask him that. For a friend."

Hardison would buy that, right?... okay, not even a little, but he might play along.

"The other one's for porn," Eliot remembered. ". . . Yeah, okay, we better call him."

Parker reared back at that, because wow. Right. Porn was fine as an amusement factor, but not with students. Wrong class! What if they mixed up the explosives or lock-picking with porn?

"... hey, Hardison... Nothing. Just eating nachos. We're in class... yeah, no one's gotten stuck yet...."

"What? Noooo. We're fine. Fine." A pause. "Hey, what does that NSFW button on your video game do? Eliot wants to know."

Eliot squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. "Dammit, Parker."

He was going to be teased about having video game sex forever, now.

"Really." Parker was fascinated! "...completely naked? ... right. Oh, and with body paint? We need to get some of that."

"No, for when I visit you. Pffttt." HEE. "...yeah, he heard that."

She held out the phone. "Hardison wants to talk to you."

Yeah, this was going to end well. "About class stuff? 'Cause we're in the middle of class, Parker."

Not the time to be talking body paint with your sex partner.

"Noooooooo," Parker drawled. "About the computer! And the settings. He's not having sex with you either." She tilted her head to talk into the outstretched phone. "You're not, right?"

Eliot snatched the phone out of her hand. "No. We're not." He put the phone to his ear. "Yeah, Hardison. We're tryin' to put a guy into the program and Parker only knows how to make 'em evil."

"So like reality, just without the stabbing." Clicking keys at the other end, and a smug tone. "I knew you guys would need me for this. Okay, find the settings, should be right at the edge? And uncheck the box for Evil. You want that thing to say either Lawful Neutral or Lawful Good around those kids, nothin' else... so she got you to make nachos?"

Parker leaned in to say, "It's like that Sims game, only with real people!"

Eliot followed his instructions. "The hell is 'lawful evil'?" He shook his head and made sure anything marked the wrong way was unchecked. "She wanted to feed the kids cheetos and jolly ranchers, man. I had to do something."

"Thinka Sterling. Only with more monologuing. Just means you won't get a serial killer guard or a janitor that collects body parts."

"They're really good nachos!"

"Look at you, all Professor Spenser. I have to get you some elbow patches!"

"Right. For all the tweed jackets I don't own." Eliot rolled his eyes. "Thanks, man. Handing you off so Parker doesn't deafen me talking about nachos." He held the phone back out to Parker, continuing to scroll curiously through the options list with his free hand.

He would never admit it out loud where Hardison could hear, but this stuff was actually kinda cool.

"Uh-hunh..." Parker said into the phone, still eating nachos. "What about WTF?... Uh-hunh. Unh-unh... Oh, totally. It's the hair." She grinned. "See you soon!" She clicked disconnect and leaned forward. "He said only hit the WTF if we're trying 'some meta thing' to get them to question reality. Can we do that?"

No, Parker. Just. No.

"Not until at least mid-terms." Which Parker didn't believe in, anyway. "What's totally the hair?"

"Whose hair?"

"On the phone," Eliot said, well aware even as he spoke that this was a fool's errand. "You told Hardison 'it's totally the hair'. What's totally the hair?"

"Oh, that."

These were really good nachos.

Eliot waited.

"Parker."

Not very long.

Dammit, if they were making fun of his hair, he had to know so he could fake threaten them with imaginary violence!

"Eliot." Yes, she knew their names. Crunch, crunch. "Ooo, look, Kathy-Flick team-up!" Their names too, apparently.

Eliot opened his mouth to try one more time, then gave up with an exasperated huff. "'Bout time somebody did. We gotta start makin' these things harder."

Or at the very least planning them earlier so they weren't rushing through programming it before class.

"Something with grifting or masterminding next week. And maybe make them search for stuff."

Oo, scavenger hunt. No, treasure hunt!

"Doubloons!"

"Make 'em break in as well as out," Eliot agreed. "Think maybe we should save the masterminding for later, though. Their final could be planning a whole job."

"That works. More guacamole?"

It was his plate she was eating off of and offering to him now.

"It's really good."

Eliot's attempt at a scowl at her offering him his own guac was lost beneath the amused snort. "I'm good," he said. "Thanks."

Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

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