fandomhigh | Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably)

So, class had well and truly begun by the time Navaan sauntered into the classroom. Look, it was early! And daylight! Sometimes hungover doctors needed to take extra time with their precautions to make sure that they don't explode! Did you want an exploding teacher? Huh? Did you?

She didn't think so!

"Oh, good, you're here!" Navaan said cheerfully. "I was gonna be mad if they made me get up this early and no one was here." Then you proooobably should have arrived on time, Navaan. "Welcome to Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably). Creative writing is really easy, so long as you know what you're doing and you're not a complete idiot. In this class, which is way longer than my last class, I'm gonna teach you the stuff you need to know, but not being an idiot is up to you. So, yeah...Don't be an idiot."

Helpful, Navaan.

"Today's lesson is all about names. Someone once said that a rose by any other name would still smell good, but that guy was an idiot. Cause even if it did smell good, no one would give a rose a chance if it was called 'Stinky Skunk Turdweed'. They certainly wouldn't be advertised in all the wedding books and stuff, either. Writing is the same. Your name has to match the genre you're writing in. Back home, there's an amazing smut writer named Felicia who writes all sorts of really, really good smut. Even though her books are awesome, she wouldn't have an audience at all if her name was Hortense or Ethelfrida." Navaan stopped and looked at her class. "Sorry if any of you are named Hortense or Ethelfrida, but those are really ugly names. The same goes for Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire--he's not going to sell any action-adventure or fast-paced spy thrillers with a name like that."

Look, there had been a movie last night on the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel and Navaan hadn't been able to find the remote. "So, today we're all supposed to get to know one another and stuff. Or something. I don't know, I don't pay attention. Instead, you're gonna tell me what genre of book you're gonna write if you don't prove to be a complete cretin and pick a nom de quill that really sells it. I guess you can tell me other stuff about you, like your class and why you signed up for this class, but I'm guessing it's because you want to learn how to write books and not suck at it. Also the name Felicia is off-limits cause it's mine."

That's right, students. Not only was your teacher an accomplished doctor, she was also an accomplished smut-peddler!

[NAVAAN IS VERY PROUD OF ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR GENRES.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Name and genre!

Talk amongst yourselves, take your last chance to run...

Or, at least, listen to her talking

You can include your real name if you want, but otherwise share the genre of book you'd write, your pen name, and maybe your year and other things Navaan might be interested in.

She doesn't have a Nurse/TA/Ghostwriter yet! Inquire for the position!

Again, SOOOOO sorry for how late this is. Migraine from last night decided to persist through most of the day.

Sparkle, totally writing Gay Action/Adventure Porn

"So, my name is Sparkle. I figure I'd probably stick to queer porn, because write what you wanna read, right? And shit, I don't see what about 'Sparkle' wouldn't work for a queer porn author's name."

Sparkle was enjoying this class already. Why not?

Joker Moreau, Action/Adventure Spy Thrillers in a Science Fiction setting (with smut)

"My name is Jeff Moreau, but you're never going to remember that. I'll be writing under the pen name 'Joker AwesomeXauce', something, you know, all clandestine secret agent action-y, with debonair heros, sultry vixens, special secret agent gadgets, and spaceships and laser beams."

Anders, fantasy (with smut)

Anders hung around after class for a while, clearing his throat.

"So," he said. "I didn't mind being your assistant last semester."

Hint, hint.

Rapunzel, romantic adventure! (With smut that tastefully fades to black right after the rogueish hero sweeps the ingenue off her feet.)

Cecil Gershwin Palmer, dramatic spy adventures of a sexy scientist! (with smut, duh)

"Hi, I'm Anders," Anders volunteered. "And I want to write stories with a message -- something that will make people think about how wrong oppression is. I think my name will be -- Anderson Orwell."

Some things from that TV Tropes trawl had stuck.

"Hi!" Cecil waved at Navaan. "Um. I'm Cecil. But I should have some nifty dramatic name for writing! Like...um." He thought about the most dramatic names he knew. "Pamela? Is that dramatic enough? I can write all kinds of dramatic spy adventures of a super-sexy scientist with amazing hair!"

Not that he was single-minded or anything.

"I'm Rapunzel," she said, waving. "And I've never made up a name before! So I'll probably stay Rapunzel, for now, because I think it has kind of a nice ring to it, anyway!"

Way to take a stand.

"And anyway, I love stories about adventures! And pirates! And knights, and heroes, and ladies who rescue themselves, and -- yeah! That's the kind of stuff I'd write."

Garik Loran, hero space adventures that turn into surreal comedies halfway through (with smut)

"My name is Garik Loran," Face said. "As 'The Face' I'd write heroic tales of adventure set in the hyperspaceways."

Of course, it probably wouldn't be too long before the adventures turned less heroic and more wacky.

"And you were good at it!" Navaan agreed. "You totally turned the TV on and everything!"

At least, she was pretty sure he did. She hadn't been there to tell. But no one had complained and that was good enough for Navaan.

"But this is a completely different topic. You sure you're going to be able to handle it?"

"Well, are you going to be writing light and fluffy queer porn or dark and gritty queer porn?" Navaan asked. "Or are you going to write gay erotica? Sparkle might not work for all of those."

"Skip the Awesome," Navaan advised. "Most people aren't gonna believe it until they've read a book or two. But spelling words with X's is cool! Or random Y's. Yeah, people who replace E's and I's in words with Y are definitely cool. Try again."

Hmm. Was her brand too established to change it to Felycia?

"That sounds super-boring," Navaan deadpanned. "No one wants to read a message. They want to read a story. If you can kinda shove a message in there, great, but you don't start with a message and try to pretty it up with a few words around it."

For Navaan, that was almost sound advice. Scary!

"Try again. But better."

"Nah. What do Pams know about spying?" Navaan asked, unaware that the very next day would see a Pam answering just that! "Pamela sounds like a civil servant or something. Who wants to hear about them? Nah, go dramatic. Go bigger. Maybe even a little scarier!"

"Rapunzel...Rapunzel..." Navaan sounded it out. "Well, it sounds pretty fancy. I dunno if it's going to work, though..." She thought a little more. "Try adding a cool last name to it. Something dashing and daring and adventurous!"

Page 1 of 2

Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably)

Sign In (08/28)

Before the Teacher Arrives

Listen to the Lecture

Introductions

Talk to Navaan

OOC

Re: Sign In (08/28)

Re: Introductions

Re: Sign In (08/28)

Re: Introductions

Re: Sign In (08/28)

Re: Talk to Navaan

Re: Sign In (08/28)

Re: Sign In (08/28)

Re: Introductions

Re: Introductions

Re: Introductions

Re: Sign In (08/28)

Re: Introductions

Re: Talk to Navaan

Re: Introductions

Re: Introductions

Re: Introductions

Re: Introductions

Re: Introductions