fandomhigh | Seven Habits of Global Synergization and Constituents and Something [Friday]

"Today, we are talking about synergy," Pam said, clapping her hands excitedly. Pam was stone sober today, and very, very happy. That ought to worry you.

"Synergy is mission critical to success, both in the corporate ecosystem and once you take it offline. It's the only way to leverage our core competencies and create vertical integration throughout our workspace. Let's go ahead and peel the onion, kids. We're going to drill down into ways to make synergizing work for you.

Oh, yeah. Pam was going to drown you all in corporate jargon. It was one of her favorite things ever, next to weed.

"This is really fucking boring, Pam," Cheryl noted, looking up from where she was filing her nails.

"Always keep your best practices front and center," Pam insisted, talking over Cheryl with an ominous glare. "There are a lot of moving parts, so you have to be sure that your human resources are, at every level, empowered to operationalize our actionables. We need to incentivize our learnings as we move forward. It's great to seize that quick win, but even better to repurpose it into our long-term value prop. That's the only way to be world-class."

"None of that even made sense," Cheryl added helpfully. "Like, almost none of those were even real words."

"Would you just shut your pill-popping dick holster for five minutes and let me do this!!" Pam snapped. "I have two more pages to go! I have not even gotten to scalability or how it's gaining traction and you are RUINING IT!!!"

"Because it's stupid!" Cheryl raged back at her, finally just giving up on trying to be cool about this. "I had an activity planned and you're ruining that! Fuck your stupid made-up words!"

"FINE!" Pam shrieked. "FINE! LET'S DO WHATEVER STUPID FUCKING ACTIVITY CHERYL WANTS TO DO! BECAUSE THAT IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY ENTIRE FUCKING CAREER!"

To be fair, Pam, most things were.

Cheryl, who was now acting like she hadn't just screamed at her co-teacher and like everything was totally fine, had several lengths of rope. "We're doing three-legged races today!" she said sunnily.

Why? Because that's what Cheryl thought 'synergy' meant. Yup, aren't we all glad that that was worth interrupting Pam's actual lecture? Because it totally was.

"Find yourself a buddy and run from one end of the classroom to the other! If you trip, you can't sue us." Because that was how lawsuits worked -- if you said it up front, they couldn't do anything about it, right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

With the last icon that comes alphabetically for you.

(This is "wrecked," for the record.)

Elsa of Arendelle

(With "Weetiny - Magic!")

Kathy Li

(zzzNoir: Lady D Suit)

Alex Aaron

Joker Moreau

At least Pam tries to make it a lecture.

For about twenty seconds, Elsa had been terribly confused, thinking she might actually learn something.

And then she sighed, shook her head, and got back to making certain Barry wasn't sticking his little puppy nose into things.

"How is he?" Kathy whispered, once the lecture had devolved into fighting. "How are you?"

"I think he's adjusting fine," Elsa replied, smiling faintly to Kathy to show she was doing just fine herself. "He seems to like sleeping at the foot of my bed, which is good. I don't have the heart to feed him what passes for dog food these days, though."

So, you know, Barry had steak this morning for breakfast. As one does.

Cheryl had helpfully made a sign at one end of the room that said 'START' and one at the other end that said 'FINISH.'

It wasn't a very long race, but whatever.

And yes, everyone has to do it, even if you are part robot, Joker.

Everyone, hm? Well... Elsa wasn't tying her leg to anybody's. That required far more physical contact than she was up to risking for the sake of a race (ignore that she'd carried her dog-shaped boyfriend into the room in her arms).

But...

With a bit of a wry smile, she was tying tiny puppy Barry's leash to her ankle.

There. Participating!

Joker wasn't really going to be able to tie his ankle to anyone else's without repeatedly whacking them with his crutch, so this was a pretty bad idea... wait. One, two, ... three, four.

He tied one crutch loosely to his leg, leaving him with three "legs" total. It was awkward, but, eh, good enough.

They're mad at each other, so that might be kind of dangerous?

"You know, you two usually have a lot of synergy, but I'm not feelin' it today. Actualize your potential!"

I have a kiiiiiitty falling asleep next to me on the cooooouch.

Seven Habits of Global Synergization and Constituents and Something [Friday]

Sign in [08/08]

Re: Sign in [08/08]

Re: Sign in [08/08]

Re: Sign in [08/08]

Re: Sign in [08/08]

Listen to them yell at each other [08/08]

Re: Listen to them yell at each other [08/08]

Re: Listen to them yell at each other [08/08]

Re: Listen to them yell at each other [08/08]

Run a three-legged race! [08/08]

Re: Run a three-legged race! [08/08]

Re: Run a three-legged race! [08/08]

Talk to Cheryl and Pam [08/08]

Re: Talk to Cheryl and Pam [08/08]

OOC [08/08]