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Doctoring 101

Once more through the portal, once more into the fray, once more into Navaan's crazy world. If nothing else, perhaps the students were learning more about the kind of world that could produce a being such as their teacher.

Sadly, there was no carnival today when they walked through the portal. Instead, they were back at Navaan's house, though luckily, they landed outside of the swamp. Looks like you were due for a regular class. Not normal, no. Never normal. But Navaan's version of regular, yup. "So, last week, we were gonna get to doctoring, but I think we can all agree that the carnival was more important. Doctoring is a highly stressful job, what with all the excitement and danger, so it's important to take some time out to relax. However, this week is a holy week for my little guys, so they're not in their monastery anymore. They've all gone to a casino to perform the rituals and try to earn enough money to keep their temple going for another year."

They were monks who worshiped the god of luck. Going to a casino for a high holiday just made sense if you thought about it.

"But don't worry, we still have patients to diagnose and treat!" Because Navaan knew you lot would be worried about that. "In fact, these guys are even better than my little guys, because they're you can try out new cutting-edge treatments and they'll still be fine even if they don't work!" She whistled and twelve...creatures...walked out of the front door. They were featureless and lumpy, like someone had smushed together hairy chunks of mud into a vaguely humanoid figures. "These guys are shapeshifters! They're great, because they can look like anything you want 'em to. My friend Grier, who hates fun, once got one to look like a voluptuous woman with a sack of gold for a head!"

"Yeah," one of the shapeshifters sighed. "I never did get paid for that job. Stupid village."

"Aren't villages the worst?" Navaan sympathized. "Anyway, students, each of you is gonna get a shapeshifter with a medical issue. Your job is to diagnose the problem and then come up with a medical solution. I want to see creativity here, too. You're training to be a doctor! that means creativity! Some doctors might be happy toiling in obscurity, using ancient methods that have been passed down for generations, but not us! We're at the forefront of medical technology! We're pushing the boundaries and coming up with new treatments. So I don't wanna hear any boring medicines or practices here. I want exciting new ones! Go!"

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Like you're about to doctor!

Such as it is.

Navaan pointed to one of the shapeshifters and told it to assume the form of a human male missing an arm. Then from her bag, she grabbed an acorn.

"Okay, so my diagnosis is that he's missing an arm. A lot of lesser doctors might be okay with just bandaging his arm and letting him be armless for the rest of his life, but not us! So this is what we're gonna do instead. I'm gonna pack the wound with dirt and plant an acorn in there. Soon, he'll grow a new arm, ten times stronger than the old one!"

The shapeshifter created a new arm that looked like it was made of oak branches twining around one another. He flexed and the wood rippled, then waved at the students with five small twigs.

The other shapeshifters clapped politely.

"All right, class. Let's see what you can do."

There's one shapeshifter for everyone and the diagnoses are as follows:
Anders: Your shifter has a deep wound that's gotten VERY infected.
Elsa of Arendelle: Your shifter is covered in lesions
Daphne Blake: Your shifter is coughing up black bile
Celia Bowen: Your shifter has a pox! Which pox? Uncertain!
Raven Darkholme: Your shifter has terrible 3rd degree burns over its face
Eleanor Lamb: Your shifter has a rash over much of its body.
Karina Lyle: Your shifter is suffering from severe food poisoning
Toby Logan: Your shifter is covered with carbuncles.
Joker Moreau: Your shifter was struck by lightning
Cecil Palmer: Your shifter was spattered in acid and half-melted.

There is an extra shifter that had been meant for Ichabod, if anyone wants another. That shifter had his throat slit and is bleeding out.

If the items in your doctor bag aren't sufficient (you all did bring your bags, right?) you can go into Navaan's house and raid her ~~moddable~~ medical supplies.

Only for the brave of heart and/or the stupidly curious.

In case you need more homeopathic remedies (mud, plants, swamp water) or extra leeches.

If he's here!

She's full of ideas!

Relevant comics: Navaan's acorn procedure (http://oglaf.com/practice/) (SFW), Shapeshifters (http://oglaf.com/freshhorses/) (NSFW), Another view of shapeshifters (http://oglaf.com/reward/) (NSFW for nudity).

If you want a shapeshifter to interact with, ping here!

Anders

"Oh, this isn't so bad," Anders said reassuringly, examining the ... creature's sore. "You shouldn't have let it go so long, though."

He might have missed the part where he was talking to a shapeshifter.

He held one hand over the wound, concentrating until a blue orb of light formed. The shapeshifter's skin began to heal as the orb hovered over it. When Anders had done as much as he could magically, he plastered the skin with an antiseptic lotion and bandaged it with gauze from his doctor kit.

"Don't roll in the dirt for a week or so and that should finish healing just fine," he said cheerily. "Bye now."

Anders was there and eager to help, though he might not be much use for anyone who didn't have magic. Still, he'd try.

Elsa of Arendelle

"Bah!" Navaan said, collaring the shapeshifter before it had a chance to run off. "That wasn't creative at all. Try it again, but think bigger! Cooler! More exciting!"

To the shifter, she added, "Make the wound again. But uglier and more pus-y. Make him work for it."

"I solved the problem and the reward I get is more pus?" Anders protested.

Then, sighing, he turned to the shapeshifter. "Stay here. I think I'm going to need more plants."

or possibly to just sulk in the swamp until class was over.

"You didn't do it with flair," Navaan scolded. "You didn't push the boundaries of doctoring. You can do better. Don't settle for what you know what works! Create!"

"And here I thought doctoring was about healing," Anders snarked. "Does flair keep people alive?"

Eleanor Lamb

Eleanor stared at her shifter with something akin to horror.

"Don't scratch it," she advised. "There's far too much of it. You'll be one gigantic oozing pus wound if you scratch."

This was not exactly doctoring, Eleanor.

Raven Darkholme

Raven was torn between feeling vaguely offended and super relieved her baseform didn't look like a bunch of hairy muddy chunks squished together.

Karina Lyle

Celia Bowen

Celia (with a particularly-irritated-looking owl on her shoulder, of course) was immediately struck with horror upon seeing her shapeshifter.

"Just...hold still," she advised, worriedly looking around for something to put on the pox. "Maybe just -- maybe we could put some sort of poultice on it?"

Celia, that was just a word you knew from a book. Stop that.

"How many people can copy what you just did?" Navaan countered. "Flair means you don't rely on what you already know and instead discover something new?"

"Good first step," Navaan encouraged. "What next?"

"Do you know what that word actually means?" Navaan asked.

Because she didn't. But it sounded very doctorly!

Right, this class was taught by someone highly unwell. She should modify her response accordingly.

"He should bathe in milk," she decided. "But he should stir it up so that it gets frothy first. Frothy milk contains anti-rash inhibitors that static milk lacks."

Making things up was doctorly, wasn't it?

"That's only for the rash on his body," she added. "His brain might have rash on it."

Cecil Palmer

Cecil eyed his patient curiously. "Does that hurt?"

Anders glared at her for a moment more, then dropped his gaze. "That's not entirely a bad point," he admitted. "If you want me to get through class without magic, I can."

Joker Moreau

Joker looked his shapeshifter over. "Yeah, that's... definitely a bad thing. I..." He poked at the burns. "I don't know. What do you think, Rocket?"

Oh, yes. The #1 thing in his pink Dora the Explorer medical bag was a pet rock (http://fandomhigh.livejournal.com/3647124.html?thread=208148116#t208148116).

"Dude this guy is toast I mean like extra crispy!!!" Joker answered himself in a high-pitched voice while waggling the rock. "You should definitely give him like some ointment or something like that!!!!"

Joker shrugged. "Okay, but I don't have anything like that, so..."

"SOOOOO you need to make some!"

Joker frowned. "Hmm. Okay, how about we try this instead: You, Sir or Madam, should pour some whiskey all over that. And then maybe drink a little, but not too much."

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Doctoring 101

Sign In (07/24)

Listen to the Lecture

The Demonstration

The Shapeshifters

Navaan's House

Navaan's Room

The Swamp

Talk to the Nurse

Talk to Navaan

OOC

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