fandomhigh | Practical Mechanics [Tuesday, May 20, 2014]

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practical mechanics

Practical Mechanics [Tuesday, May 20, 2014]

Today the workshop smelled like compressed wood, cardboard and Swedish meatballs.

Guess who'd gone to Ikea before class, kids! Go on, guess.

"Today we're gonna learn about hacking furniture the same way a programmer hacks a computer," Ben said. "We're going to take a standard piece of furniture and make it astral."

Or extremely wobbly, depending on the student's skill at putting things together. "Now you've been here long enough to get an idea of the standard layouts of bedrooms and common areas, and you've probably noticed at least one thing you wish you had that looked better or functioned more efficiently or was powered by rockets--"

Ben.

He grinned. "Anyway. I've put up pictures and opened up a website here to give you ideas, and I've also stocked a bunch of the more common furniture types that people tend to use to take apart and make better. If you're a compulsive rule follower, you can also just make the furniture the way the directions say to, then paint it or varnish it to make it look less generic. I'll take the pieces you guys don't want and use them to decorate my office. Unless you make a rocket-powered desk chair: that I'll give to my partner."

Ender was a lucky guy, huh?

"Oh and go ahead and snack on the food I brought too--it's impossible to leave that place without hot dogs, cinnamon buns, ice cream and meatballs. I don't understand it, but I'm not going to question it either."

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Preparing to get creative!

Daphne Blake

Nathan Byrn

Barry Ween

Celia Bowen

Wonder WTF at the wrench! Curse profusely as you realize you put the first piece on upside down and the whole thing has to be taken apart! Make fun of the names of the furniture!

Or stand around and eat meatballs.

There's a lot of Lack storage stuff, along with some Expedit shelves, and Billy bookcases. Because everyone needs a Billy bookcase.

Nathan still couldn't read and he had no idea what half the tools were but he was getting a little bit better at putting things together. He could recognize where certain things would naturally go so maybe he'd get this thing together by next month!

Ben crouched down next to him with an easy smile. "Things going okay? No bruised fingers yet?"

"No, not yet," Nathan said, glancing at his fingers. He'd left the gloves at home today though the sleeves were covering the worst of the burns and one of his tattoos.

The one on his neck and finger were visible but he was getting a little more comfortable with that. "It's gotten a little easier. I'm recognizing tools now, at least."

Edited 2014-05-20 11:52 (UTC)

Ben chuckled. "That's a good start. What masterpiece are you attempting today?"

"Just a chair," Nathan told him, shrugging. "The pieces seem to be pretty big and there's nothing too intricate or complicated. Maybe I'll even manage to put it together so it doesn't break when a feather falls on it."

"And if you can't, play a prank on your roommate," Ben suggested, grinning. "I was tempted to glue all of my roommate's stuff to the ceiling one time just to see if I could."

Ben needed better hobbies.

"I don't know if I should do that to Soren," Nathan said, making a face. "He's something called a berserker. I don't know what that is but it sounds like he'd do damage."

"Mine was one of the great strategic thinkers of his generation," Ben said, "but I have a bit of an adrenaline junkie issue. You're probably smart not to mess with Soren's stuff. Your chair looks pretty solid, but I can poke around for the directions with all the pictures if you can read Swedish pictograms and you're really worried."

Nathan gave his chair a look and then shook his head. "I think I might be okay without the pictures. For now, at least. Just have to remember to tighten everything and maybe try it first myself to make sure it's sturdy."

"You'll do fine," Ben said with a friendly grin.

Celia chose a Billy for herself, mostly because she was frankly running out of space for the books she had already collected during her time in Fandom.

Was it cheating to use her magic? He hadn't said she couldn't, after all, so Celia laid out all of the pieces and scrutinized them for a long moment before looking at the directions.

And around that time she realized that magic wouldn't really help her, anyway, as the directions had no words.

She managed to get the bookcase upright, at least, standing back with her hands before her as she manipulated the pieces. But it didn't really matter if she'd used her hands to actually put it together, or her mind -- either way, she'd put the bottom shelf on backwards, and the whole thing would have to come apart.

"Damn it," she cursed softly, sighing as the stupid...plastic bolt things unscrewed themselves and fell on the floor. She'd have to do almost all of it over.

"Need some help?" Ben asked.

"Why does this furniture hate me? Why do the directions have this little man instead of words?"

So...that'd be a yes.

"Because Sweden is an odd, frustrating country," Ben offered. "All right, where'd you get stuck?"

"My lowest shelf is upside-down, but I think if I just...flip it, it'll be all right. And I think I have too many plastic bits,," she said, showing him her extras. Which were...extra. Get used to that mystery, Celia.

"No, they give you extra," Ben said. "We'll give it a good push to make sure it doesn't wobble, of course, but I think it's okay."

"Why would they give me more than I need? Is it a test?" Celia was instantly suspicious, not to mention frustrated that she'd tried to find the hardware's home when there wasn't one to speak of.

"I think it's so they don't have to count to make sure you haven't been shorted," Ben said.

Ben's working on a media unit entirely covered in Legos just because it looks really neat. Make yours look spiffy over here too!

Barry took one look at a bed frame kit and had to laugh.

Yes. He was turning a bed frame into a trampoline.

Because who wouldn't want a trampoline for a bed.

Ben watched for a moment, smirking. "Trampoline?"

"It's for a friend," Barry said with a smirk. " We get to keep these right? I'll pay you for the cost of materials"

Ben waved that offer aside. "It's yours without having to pay for it. Do I want to know?"

"Just a running gag I have with a friend," Barry said with a smirk. "Check it out: She's like 16 or 17 and has never jumped on a bed before."

He paused for a moment as he looked at the completed bed.

"I have some extra time. You really want a rocket powered chair for your buddy?"

"Yes, because he'll hate it and then I can race it up and down the hallway during office hours," Ben said.

The fact that something Barry would build would just annoy someone else just made it that much sweeter to build.

"Fuck, yeah!" Barry said gleefully. "You want a flame job or racing stripes?"

"Flames," Ben said, beaming. "Thanks."

Ben won't share his lingonberry juice with you, though. Tough.

Cassidy had tea that she might share.

Apologies in advance for anyone ~~Shanie~~ who ends up down the rabbit hole on this site and isn't heard from for days...

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Practical Mechanics [Tuesday, May 20, 2014]

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Put together basic furniture

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Make it fancy!

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Talk to Ben & Cassidy!

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OOC