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fandomhigh2014-05-19 07:45 am
usedtowhizz.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2014-05-19 07:45 am
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Advanced Film Criticism, Monday, Period 1
"I'm going to be honest with you guys for a minute," James said, which may have been a weird way to start a bad movie class. "I think I've been taking it easy on you. I think we need to step it up this week and if you make it to next week, maybe you'll get a reward."
"So this week, we're watchingdon't really need a meta for this because no one would EVER app someone from The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure. You know how that name makes it sound like if you had a kid you might know what the hell an Oogielove is? You wouldn't. They were made up for this movie by people hoping to make the new most horrible marketable thing in the world, and they failed, and their failure is hilarious."
"So beyond the fact that the movie's going to make your brains melt and dribble out of your ears, the people who made this crap wanted kids to interact with it. So the Oogieloves are going to tell you to sing and dance and answer questions and crap," James said. "And yes, I expect you to do whatever the movie tells you to do. Anyone who keeps it up for the whole movie will get five dollars from me as a reward. I can't tell you to buy booze with it, but I will say that it's what I would do."
"So, let's start this fucking balloon adventure!"
"So this week, we're watching
"So beyond the fact that the movie's going to make your brains melt and dribble out of your ears, the people who made this crap wanted kids to interact with it. So the Oogieloves are going to tell you to sing and dance and answer questions and crap," James said. "And yes, I expect you to do whatever the movie tells you to do. Anyone who keeps it up for the whole movie will get five dollars from me as a reward. I can't tell you to buy booze with it, but I will say that it's what I would do."
"So, let's start this fucking balloon adventure!"
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It's Schluufy's birthday, and the Oogieloves (Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie), along with their friends J. Edgar, Windy Window and Ruffy, are organizing a party. (Shh! It's a secret.) Everything is going along just perfectly until J. Edgar trips and loses the last five magical balloons in all of Lovelyloveville--OH NO! The Oogiloves set out to find the magical balloons in time to save their friend's party. Along the way, they meet some very interesting characters indeed, including Dotty Rounder (Cloris Leachman), Bobby Wobbly (Carey Elwes), Milky Marvin (Chazz Palminteri), Rosalie Rosebud (Toni Braxton) and Lola and Lero Sombero (Christopher Lloyd and Jaime Pressly). Can these new friends help them recover the magical balloons and get back to the cottage in time to celebrate Schluufy's surprise birthday?
And don't forget, when you're prompted to scream and dance and sing, you should do it. You can get $5 for booze if you do it for the entire damn movie.
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OOC
In its debut weekend, Oogieloves proved to be the biggest box office bomb of all time for films released in at least 2,000 theaters. Its production budget was $20 million, in addition to another $40 million in marketing costs. On August 29, 2012, the film opened at #17 at the box office to $102,564 in 2,160 theaters, with a per-theater average of $47.
That's only a small part of that paragraph. It actually gets worse.
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What the hell.
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And so, with a big fake smile on his face, he kept up with the movie's instructions the whole time. And that included instructions like "dance" and "stand up", which were not things he particularly excelled at.
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He looked at the bill with concern, and then looked back at Professor Zippy. "This is damp," he pointed out. "If I ask, are you likely to explain why?"
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