fandomhigh | The Modern Workplace and You [Friday, period 1]

Today, both of the teachers were back: hooray!

However, both of the teachers were once again in costume: ...maybe less hooray?

"Hellooooooooo," Cheryl drawled in a very fruity, oddly-pitched voice as she waved at the students with a champagne flute. Because yes, of course class was made up to look like someone's dining room today. Why the hell not? "I know you probably didn't recognize me, because today we're going to talk about the importance of disguises."

Amongst other things.

“Really, children,” admonished Pam, “we’re going to talk about a great many things. Like what a scamp Teddy Roosevelt was. Such a playful sense of huuuu-mor!”

Did you think Pam maybe missed the fucked-up-voice boat? Because no. She was tooting that horn like a pro.

"Oh, that Teddy!" Cheryl chortled. I know, guys, right? I didn't know that was a real noise people made, either, but Cheryl was making it. "Such a scoundrel! Do you know, I once saw him kill and eat a bear? He was evah so gentle about it, though! Just evah so gentle!"

None of what she was saying made any sense. Did it matter? No. Did it ever?

Students, at this point, may have noticed the trunks and racks of costumes available to them. You know, if they were the observant type.

“There are ever so many scintillating reasons why one might have an elegant dinner party,” said Pam brightly, after she took a long swig of wine. “Perhaps one is one of the most elllllllllegant people in all of New York, and one would like to celebrate that fact with lamb kidneys stewed in wine. Or perhaps there’s a body that one’s boss needs disposed of, and an ellllllllllllllegant dinner party would cover her tracks admirably.”

"So," Cheryl continued, "you will most definitely need to change to something…appropriate for a dinner party as elllllllllllllllllegant as this one." She broke character for a moment, taking enough time to give every person's outfit a disdainful look before gesturing grandly to the racks of clothes. "And then, yes, you'll need to fulfill your duties as an employee at your employer's elllllllllllllllegant dinner party!"

She pulled back the corner of the tablecloth, revealing a blow-up doll with a plastic knife taped to the front of it and the eyes X'd out. They'd had to improvise a little, okay?

“Decide how you’re going to deal with the corpse, Calpurnia,” Pam announced. “Remember that being charge with homicide or with carting around a dead body would be horribly unrefined, and will keep you out of the finer country clubs!”

Plus you’d go to jail. Just saying.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't even know anymore.

Paddra Nsu-Yeul

Cecil Gershwin Palmer

Joker Moreau

Elsa of Arendelle

Rilla Blythe

Raven Darkholme

Which is really just mostly just these two idiots talking like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePehJK6F7_k). (See the 20-second mark.)

So, you know. "Lecture."

There are plenty of very ellllllllllllllllllegant clothes that are both moddable and also ridiculous!

Joker found himself a top hat, vest, cape, white gloves, and a monacle. Because when life give you lemons, you learn how to juggle.

You can practically demonstrate where you'd hide/dispose of a body if a cop came over during your very elegant dinner party, or you can just verbally share.

Or you can, you know, not get invited to your boss' house when she's shot the Italian PM as part of a kinky sex-game, but you know, that's not really an option today.

Cecil blinked at the blow-up doll and pulled a pin off his lapel. It was nice and long and really pretty sharp.

Joker gave him a big grin. "I like the way you think! Problem solved!"

Cecil shrugged. "It seems like the easiest way." He eyed Pam and Cheryl. "They didn't say it was against the rules." Were there any rules in this class?

Joker tipped his top hat and chortled. "Ohhhh, rules, m'boy? How quaint! Ahahaha! You think these fine ladies have rules!"

"I'm...not really sure," Cecil confessed. "Sometimes the most capricious people are the nastiest when you break their rules." He grinned. "But if you're sure, here!" He held out the pin to Joker.

He had a Night Vale survival instinct.

"That... is a really good point," Joker told him. "I don't think these to will care, but... Okay, then, I'll take the fall."

A few jabs of the pin, and the "corpse" was on its way to being a floppy sheet of vinyl.

"And now, for my next trick...!" Joker announced, as he began stuffing the deflating doll into his top hat.

In between laughing, Cecil did his best to hide Joker from the teachers; it seemed only fair that he run interference. "Where will we hide it?"

Who I'm sure is just as ellllllllllllllllegant as the teachers.

They're gonna talk like that the whole time, yes.

Oh, so by the way, that was real booze in the girls' wine glasses. If anyone had any doubt.

"I miss Dr. Krieger," Cheryl decided, eyeing the body with a very elegant sigh. "He absoluuuuuutely got an A on this assignment when we did it before."

You mean when it was the actual Italian PM in a zentai suit with a marital aid in places unknown that you had to dispose of, Cheryl? You mean that "assignment"?

"I had to take three trains just to get that gross bag over to the Bronx," Pam sighed. "But I didn't want to screw up his damn smiley face."

Wait.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaand now I'm realizing nobody else bothered, did they?"

"I gave mine to Baboo."

Gross, Cheryl. Really, really gross.

"Hey, there's a thought!" Pam said brightly. "Why didn't we just feed the Prime Minister to Baboo? D'you think he'd eat the whole thing?"

There were these things called 'bones,' Pam. Those might be a touch difficult for your average ocelot to chew up.

This week has destroyed me, oh my god. Where is my ellllllllllllegant dinner party? Archer can come make me some damn spaghetti any time now.

I feel obliged to express horror on Hannibal's behalf.

Hannibal if you ever need a body disposed of, call in our two!!! They are experts!!!!!*

*well okay they've done it twice

Hannibal is quite capable himself, thank you.

...then again, he'll keep you in mind if he needs a patsy.

Dude if Hannibal had been there in canon a) the spaghetti would have been better, and b) the body-disposal would never have been an issue because he would have been in the spaghetti.

We need to get him and Mallory introduced, except not at all because the world would implode.

It would have been gourmet lasagne, and it would have been awesome!

From what I've seen of y'all's canon in this game, adding Hannibal into it terrifies me.

The Modern Workplace and You [Friday, period 1]

Sign in [04/11]

Re: Sign in [04/11]

Re: Sign in [04/11]

Re: Sign in [04/11]

Re: Sign in [04/11]

Re: Sign in [04/11]

Re: Sign in [04/11]

Listen to the Lecture [04/11]

Play dress-up! [04/11]

Re: Play dress-up! [04/11]

Hide the body! [04/11]

Re: Hide the body! [04/11]

Re: Hide the body! [04/11]

Re: Hide the body! [04/11]

Re: Hide the body! [04/11]

Re: Hide the body! [04/11]

Re: Hide the body! [04/11]

Re: Hide the body! [04/11]

Talk to the TA [04/11]

Talk to Cheryl and Pam [04/11]

Re: Talk to Cheryl and Pam [04/11]

Re: Talk to Cheryl and Pam [04/11]

Re: Talk to Cheryl and Pam [04/11]

Re: Talk to Cheryl and Pam [04/11]

OOC [04/11]

Re: OOC [04/11]

Re: OOC [04/11]

Re: OOC [04/11]

Re: OOC [04/11]

Re: OOC [04/11]