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fandomhigh2014-03-21 09:54 am
notmysupervisor.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2014-03-21 09:54 am
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The Modern Workplace and You [period 1, Friday]
Class today was about a very serious topic, you guys. Pull up a chair because it was time to get all Afterschool Special.
“Okay, kids,” Pam started. “Now we have to talk about a healthy work environment. A healthy work environment isn’t just about making sure there isn’t asbestos in the walls, because that shit’s good for a nice chunk of change once you sue the company. No, I’m talking about recreational drug use.”
Say, did Pam look a shade thinner? Because she was. Because she had been eating cocaine instead of food for the past two weeks, solid. That was how you knew this lecture was going to be good.
"Recreational drug use," Cheryl said solemnly, "is dangerous, reckless, destructive, frightening, and a hazard to your health." She was a little less made up than normally, and her clothes were noticeably less nice -- when she was giving all of the allowance that Cecil allowed her to Greenpeace, there wasn't much left over for fancy cardigans, okay?
But you know what there was money for, always? Drugs.
"And that's why you absolutely should be wary of them," she added. "Unless they're from a trusted source. Always, always vet your dealer! Now, who wants groovy bears?"
“Cheryl,” Pam hissed. “Do not offer them some of your homebrew acid. We are supposed to be telling them about healthy work environments. Like, drug-free.”
She even said it with a straight face, guys.
"Whatever, coke bunny," Cheryl said, rolling her eyes. "You had Frosted Flakes for breakfast and I know they started as cornflakes!"
Because cocaine.
“They were cornflakes!” Pam insisted. “Look, even if I were to indulge occasionally, that wouldn’t mean I condone it! Some work environments insist on drug testing, even though that’s totally against the Constitution and an invasion of your rights and completely unethical. And if they find evidence of drug use in your urine, they can fire you, even if it’s just something like marijuana that’s only illegal because the white man can’t stand the freedom plant that wants to enlighten your mind! It’s institutionalized racism is what it is!”
Which still wasn’t touching the coke, if you were paying attention.
"Cocaine's not a plant," Cheryl said informatively, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, it can be bad news bears if you're caught with drugs -- of any kind, Pam -- in your pee at work. And that's why we brought Krieger Kleanse!"
Yup, that was what those little cups at the front of the class were. Be afraid, kids. Be very afraid.
“I watered it down some,” Pam said. “That stuff was harsh.” Harsh meaning it had taken a few tranq darts to take Pam down, after she had ripped the toilet out and flung it at Ray, thinking he was a Decepticon.
And yet, she was grabbing a cup and toasting her mooch of a roommate. “Bombs away! You guys aren’t going to puss out, right?”
(IMPORTANT NOTE: Krieger Kleanse is a hallucinogen of the bad kind, like “OH NO THE FLOOR IS LAVA” and not a fun trip. TRYING IT IS OPTIONAL and only if you want to have a bad trip with Pam and Cheryl. AND WHY WOULD YOU, IS WHAT WE ARE SAYING. However, filming your classmates/teachers while they are hallucinating? That's another story.
Oh, and also Pam is her season 5 coke-hound AU, and Cheryl is now in an AU where her brother controls all her money and has brainwashed her to give it to semi-useless environmental causes, like SeaLab 2021.)
“Okay, kids,” Pam started. “Now we have to talk about a healthy work environment. A healthy work environment isn’t just about making sure there isn’t asbestos in the walls, because that shit’s good for a nice chunk of change once you sue the company. No, I’m talking about recreational drug use.”
Say, did Pam look a shade thinner? Because she was. Because she had been eating cocaine instead of food for the past two weeks, solid. That was how you knew this lecture was going to be good.
"Recreational drug use," Cheryl said solemnly, "is dangerous, reckless, destructive, frightening, and a hazard to your health." She was a little less made up than normally, and her clothes were noticeably less nice -- when she was giving all of the allowance that Cecil allowed her to Greenpeace, there wasn't much left over for fancy cardigans, okay?
But you know what there was money for, always? Drugs.
"And that's why you absolutely should be wary of them," she added. "Unless they're from a trusted source. Always, always vet your dealer! Now, who wants groovy bears?"
“Cheryl,” Pam hissed. “Do not offer them some of your homebrew acid. We are supposed to be telling them about healthy work environments. Like, drug-free.”
She even said it with a straight face, guys.
"Whatever, coke bunny," Cheryl said, rolling her eyes. "You had Frosted Flakes for breakfast and I know they started as cornflakes!"
Because cocaine.
“They were cornflakes!” Pam insisted. “Look, even if I were to indulge occasionally, that wouldn’t mean I condone it! Some work environments insist on drug testing, even though that’s totally against the Constitution and an invasion of your rights and completely unethical. And if they find evidence of drug use in your urine, they can fire you, even if it’s just something like marijuana that’s only illegal because the white man can’t stand the freedom plant that wants to enlighten your mind! It’s institutionalized racism is what it is!”
Which still wasn’t touching the coke, if you were paying attention.
"Cocaine's not a plant," Cheryl said informatively, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, it can be bad news bears if you're caught with drugs -- of any kind, Pam -- in your pee at work. And that's why we brought Krieger Kleanse!"
Yup, that was what those little cups at the front of the class were. Be afraid, kids. Be very afraid.
“I watered it down some,” Pam said. “That stuff was harsh.” Harsh meaning it had taken a few tranq darts to take Pam down, after she had ripped the toilet out and flung it at Ray, thinking he was a Decepticon.
And yet, she was grabbing a cup and toasting her mooch of a roommate. “Bombs away! You guys aren’t going to puss out, right?”
(IMPORTANT NOTE: Krieger Kleanse is a hallucinogen of the bad kind, like “OH NO THE FLOOR IS LAVA” and not a fun trip. TRYING IT IS OPTIONAL and only if you want to have a bad trip with Pam and Cheryl. AND WHY WOULD YOU, IS WHAT WE ARE SAYING. However, filming your classmates/teachers while they are hallucinating? That's another story.
Oh, and also Pam is her season 5 coke-hound AU, and Cheryl is now in an AU where her brother controls all her money and has brainwashed her to give it to semi-useless environmental causes, like SeaLab 2021.)
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
"You're right," Yeul said, after a moment's pause as she tried to decide on the best way to continue without upsetting Sholeh unduly, "yes, of course, it must be distressing for you."
She hadn't really found it particularly upsetting for her, though she didn't care for Zhari being gone. Or Zeela, though she still hoped it was just a matter of not having asked the right question.
"Do you feel safe enough going from school to the dorms? Or when you are out and about?" she asked gently. "I would not be much help, but if you'd like, I could ask someone if they'd care to escort you? Zeela, perhaps? I'm sure she'd be glad to help."
Yeul tilted her head slightly. "Have you met Zeela, Sholeh? I can never keep track of who knows who."
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
Unless Sparkle decided that he was a vampire again. That would be awful.
"If things get too hectic, I'm sure Evan will escort me to my classes. You too, if you'd like." She gave Yeul a smile. "I know, you're not worried about your safety, but it would be for our peace of mind, too."
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
Oh, Zeela.
"I appreciate the offer," she added, smiling. "It is just that I would not wish to impose."
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
"I wonder," she said lightly. "I am still unused to that sort of reaction from anyone but Caius."
Yeul's long, long line of parents were... uniformly terrible people, to put it mildly.
"But thank you." She hesitated a moment, looking out at the class, before speaking. "Sholeh, if there was something going on and there was nothing to be done about it, would you say that a true friend would be better served by telling the person that it affects anyway? Or would it be better to keep quiet?"
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
She leaned a little closer and asked in a quiet voice, "You mean Evan?"
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
"...Is something the matter with Evan?" she asked, not having expected that response.
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
because we haven't played that bit out yet. "Wait--you haven't seen him?"Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
"No," Yeul said simply. "I haven't talked to him this week at all."
Re: Talk to the TA [03/21]
She shook her head. Maybe she was just reading too much into things?