fandomhigh | Advanced Criminal Justice, Monday, Period 3

Guess what! You weren't on a rooftop today! You were in the Batcave itself. But this Danger Shop simulacrum (scroll down on the link) probably wasn't what you might expect from the Batman you knew. It was so bright.

"Hello, my fledgling justice learners," Batman said. Um. The less said about what he was this week, the better. Just go with it, okay? "This week, we're going to discuss how you put your best foot forward to find a crime."

A red rotary phone - without a rotary dial, mind you - was sitting on a table when it suddenly lit up, glowing a bright red while screeching an alert.

Batman picked up the phone. "Yes, Commissioner? The Penguin put together an art installation in Gotham City Park with deadly umbrellas? I'll be right there!"

Batman hung up. "Don't worry, my young pupils. There is no real danger right now. That was just... a demonstration. Remember to always stay near a phone, or at least employ someone to stay near it for you. Make sure the phone can attract your attention at a moment's notice. And perhaps most importantly, mind your manners. You will be talking to the Police Commissioner, after all."

"But don't forget. You don't need to identify yourself. The Commissioner knows who he's calling. And in case a vile villain has cracked the case at the policeman's post to make a felonious phone call, you don't want to accidentally give your real name and expose your identity."

"Now, unless you have any questions, I think it's about time to see what you can do."

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BAM! POW! CRASH! ZAP!

And take careful notes, chums. This is hard work.

Answer it quickly, but not too quickly. You don't want to seem anxious. Be polite, but firm. And ladies, please don't try to seduce Batman with your breathy tones. Keep it professional, like Batman is trying to do.

Look, it was a simpler, way more sexist time, okay?

His young pseudo-ward!

Why is he not wearing green underwear and no pants?

Ladies, stop throwing yourselves at him! He might just not be able to resist if you keep it up.

No, seriously, it was probably best to avoid him.

Will I be playing the living hell out of Bruce Wayne '66 this week? Deadlines allowing, YES.

I apologize in advance for all alliteration, romantic ruminations, and, pardon the phrase, bat-shit insanity that may arise whenever I have free time, my dear friends.

Oh, also, the Penguin art installation thing is basically stolen from an episode of the Flop House podcast. It's the Devil episode, aka Hellevator or Devilvator or Helledevil.

Edited 2014-03-17 04:51 (UTC)

Korra

Evan Sabahnur

Would black shorts do? Evan could appreciate the importance of proper superhero costuming as it applied to criminal justice these days, but he really had a limit when it came to just how little he was wearing.

And anyway, he was genetically predisposed to wear clothing that bulked him up more, if anything, though he was sure the green spanky pants had some appeal to someone, somewhere.

By this point, Evan was really willing to just kind of roll with it. So long as they weren't building guillotines, he would happily answer the phone as many times as Batman needed him to.

He was kind of staring at the eyebrows painted on to Batman's cowl today, though.

Oooh, Evan's parents had a phone like this, back on the farm-that-didn't-exist-that-he-remembered-fondly-anyhow! Granted, it had a few more parts on it, like a dial, but it was kind of novel to be able to pick it up and still be tethered to the rest of the phone by a cord.

Kids these days.

"Hello, Commissioner?"

<33333333

Karina Lyle

Maddie Berry

...Yeah, okay, why not.

Maddie did have to wonder if this guy had never heard of cell phones, though.

Advanced Criminal Justice, Monday, Period 3

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