fandomhigh | The Modern Workplace and You....ish [Friday, period 1]

Today when the students filed in, things may have seemed...well, a tad different from normal.

For one thing, Cheryl was back. For another, she was no longer Cheryl.

"Well, hoooow-dee," she drawled, eyes still narrowing disparagingly as she surveyed the group. That much was still the same. "What a sad, pathetic bunch of wannabe city slickers we've got here." She shook her head, sending her hair bouncing, as she placed her hands on her mostly-exposed hips. "You ever see anything so sad in your whole life, Pammy?"

Pam popped a Mentos made entirely of cocaine into her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully. “I dunno,” she said. “Some of ‘em might make useful heishi in the glorious empire of … uh … ISIS. I mean, spies. I’m sure some of ‘em have potential as spies.”

Pam was not in any way an undercover agent working for the Yakuza, everyone. In case you were wondering.

"Maybe," Cherlene said, waving a hand dismissively. "I mean, if you wanna waste your time, fine. But I wanna see if any of 'em are talented." She glanced out over the group thoughtfully. "I need me some backup singers, if you know what I mean."

She meant she needed backup singers. For once, this was actually literal, not figurative.

“I don’t get it,” Pam frowned. This was either because she expected it to be some kind of horrible innuendo, or because she was still a cocaine addict, even though she was now a cocaine addict who was also a Yakuza spy. “Oooh! Ooooh! Can we do an American Idol thing? You can be the mean British guy and I’ll be the dopey drunk chick who thinks everyone did their best. Except I wanna be mean, too.”

What was the fun in being nice when you could crush someone’s dreams!??

"I kinda wanna be drunk, too," Cherlene mused, frowning. "And I ain't gonna be British. But okay!" It was just coincidence that Cherlene had brought with her a microphone and karaoke machine, right? "If you knock my socks off," she added, "then you can be my backup singer."

Not that she was wearing socks.

“You can totally be drunk,” Pam said, holding out her thermos. “Tanoshinde kudasai.”

Of course she brought Green Russians to class. Of course she did.

[Cheryl is her season-five AU, country-western darling Cherlene. Pam is spying for the Yakuza and eating cocaine like she's paid to. SORRY THAT CLASS IS WHAT IT IS NOW. SO MUCH FOR THE MODERN WORKPLACE?]

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Elsa really wasn't anticipating anything particularly good to come of any of this, no, but if there was one thing she could do with some measure of confidence, it was sing.

So, squaring her shoulders, she stood to sing, and, kind of winging it as she did so, she belted it. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luiRqbZ7t8U)

"That wasn't the worst," Cherlene conceded.

Take that praise and run with it, Elsa!

"... Not the worst?"

Well, that was good to know, at least.

"I mean, it could've been way more sexy," Cherlene informed her. "That wasn't sexy at all."

Which had nothing to do with the quality of the vocals, but like Cheryl/Carol/Cherlene adhered to logic, anyway.

"I... wasn't actually going for... sexy."

Was she supposed to? Nobody had told her that she was aiming for sexy!

"I'll have to keep that in mind for the future, I suppose."

She would not actually be upset if she didn't get to sing back-up for Cher-whoever, no.

"You gotta be sexy if you wanna keep people's interest," Cherlene pointed out. "I mean, do you really think people come out to see me just 'cause of my voice? No, it's also 'cause I've developed a persona."

By wearing cropped shirts and showing off her cleavage.

Elsa was pretty sure she could pass on that sort of persona, thank you.

"I think maybe I'll stick with my textbooks, thank you," she settled on. "I'm not actually all that interested in... interesting people."

"It's a bit Broadway," Pam said, mulling it over.

Pam, that was an epic song. You could at least acknowledge she did well.

"A bit... what?"

Elsa had no idea what that was supposed to mean. It was difficult to be insulted by it, really.

"You know," Pam gestured. "Theater. ~~meta for~~ A Chorus Line. Like you expect the Rockettes to show up and do a kick line."

Exactly none of that was going to be helpful.

"I sound too theatrical?"

Theater! The one word in all of that which made any sense! Elsa was clinging to it.

"I wasn't aware there was such a thing."

"It's all about who you're selling to," Pam said. "Wrong audience is gonna find it kitschy. It's reeeeeeeeal easy to veer into Ethel Merman territory."

Just to illustrate her point, Pam was now going to belt out a couple of choruses of "Everything's Coming Up Roses (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGyiuFZ7cs8)."

Elsa bit her lip, and then ducked her head a little, and nodded.

"I... actually really like that," she offered. "It's got personality."

"It's a bit hammy, but super-fun to sing," Pam enthused. "Lots of those old show tunes are."

"Well, why not sing what you like to sing, then? If it's fun..."

Elsa shrugged a little, smiling at Pam.

"Sing it?"

Re: Perform! [03/14]

holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com - 2014-03-14 20:57 (UTC) - Expand

iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com - 2014-03-14 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

Joker stared.

After a while, his mouth sort of hung open.

"...Wow."

Elsa was so not used to this sort of attention. She shrugged her shoulders and did her level best to not blush too much.

"You, um, haven't heard me sing before, I guess?"

This was nothing, Joker. You should be listening when she really let herself let go.

"No," Joker told her. "No, I have not. I would have remembered something like that. You've got an amazing voice -- which, y'know, goes well with the rest of you. If I could sing like you, I'd probably be, like, singing all the time."

"I mostly only sing for myself," Elsa replied, losing that battle with the oncoming blush. "A lot. I mean... a lot."

And yet still not as often as her sister.

"Thank you, Joker. I'm glad you enjoyed that."

"No, thank you," Joker told her. "You should sing more. ...Well, I mean, it'd be weird to just go around singing all the time, unless you're in a children's movie, but... I dunno. Ever feel like putting on a show in the common room or something?"

Elsa, with all of her social anxiety?

Ahahahahaha.

"Nooo," she replied, blinking at him. "No, I have never thought of doing that."

"Well, okay, no, you don't want to, I get that. No, that's fine. Maybe karaoke or something, sometime."

iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com - 2014-03-14 23:46 (UTC) - Expand

fly-so-serious.livejournal.com - 2014-03-14 23:53 (UTC) - Expand

iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com - 2014-03-15 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

fly-so-serious.livejournal.com - 2014-03-15 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com - 2014-03-15 00:58 (UTC) - Expand

Rilla applauded. "That was wonderful!"

And something she in no way would be following after for these two crackpots.

"Thank you," Elsa replied, and she meant it. The teachers here were insane, but at least she could count on her classmates to be genuine. "Thank you very much, Rilla."

"You're quite welcome," Rilla said, smiling back.