Anakin Skywalker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sith_happened) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2014-03-11 01:51 pm
sith_happened) wrote in fandomhigh2014-03-11 01:51 pm
How to Make Friends and Influence People [Tuesday, March 11, 2014]
Anakin, who'd gotten a visual reminder of the time his son and Gavin Darklighter had thought they'd been Siegfried and Roy, not the most dignified island moment ever, might have let that influence the mood he was in when he'd programmed the Danger Shop.
"Welcome to Geonosis," he said with a wicked smile as each student found themselves handcuffed to a huge stone pillar in the middle of an arena. "Sometimes negotiations go poorly. In this case, they've gone straight to poodoo. You have thirty seconds before your captors will release an acklay--an image of a giant bug helpfully sprang to holographic life before them--"a nexu, and a reek."
More photos helpfully showed what was going to try to eat them.
"Working together, get out of the arena." Anakin smiled. "And girls, you have a hairpin inside your sleeves because when I was in this very same situation--" which said something about the poor choices Anakin had made in his life, "--my first wife was smart enough to have one in her sleeve and used it to pick the lock on her cuffs. I was too busy bickering with my teacher at the time to do something just as useful."
He smiled again. "Welcome to aggressive negotiations."
"Welcome to Geonosis," he said with a wicked smile as each student found themselves handcuffed to a huge stone pillar in the middle of an arena. "Sometimes negotiations go poorly. In this case, they've gone straight to poodoo. You have thirty seconds before your captors will release an acklay--an image of a giant bug helpfully sprang to holographic life before them--"a nexu, and a reek."
More photos helpfully showed what was going to try to eat them.
"Working together, get out of the arena." Anakin smiled. "And girls, you have a hairpin inside your sleeves because when I was in this very same situation--" which said something about the poor choices Anakin had made in his life, "--my first wife was smart enough to have one in her sleeve and used it to pick the lock on her cuffs. I was too busy bickering with my teacher at the time to do something just as useful."
He smiled again. "Welcome to aggressive negotiations."
Re: Get out of your handcuffs!
If his omnitool had been more tricked out, he could (maybe) have used it to pick the locks himself -- but it wasn't. He wasn't helpless, though -- he still had his special superpower. He used the omnitool to amplify his voice as much as it could.
"PEOPLE OF GEONOSIS!" he shouted, addressing the crowd. "HEY! Stop cheering a sec and listen, dickbags! I sure hope your tickets were free, 'cause this is gonna be one hella disappointing show! I don't know what your leaders have promised you today, but we're a bunch of helpless kids! I mean, I'm a cripple, for goodness sake! What fun is it gonna be for you to watch us stand here and get slaughtered, huh? Are you here for a public execution, or are you here to be fucking entertained?!?! Am I right? Huh? So... Those animals they're gonna release -- wouldn't you rather they fight each other, instead of us? Or maybe those guards over there, with those actual fucking weapons? Isn't THAT the kind of show you're really here to see?!!? So who's with me? Who wants to see a real fight, with the animals versus the guards? Fight... the... guards! Fight... the... guards! Everybody, now! Fight... the... guards! Fight... the... guards! FIGHT... THE... GUARDS!"
It was worth a shot, anyway. The worst they could do was boo him, after all.