Jono Starsmore (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
furnaceface) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2014-02-07 09:10 am
furnaceface) wrote in fandomhigh2014-02-07 09:10 am
Entry tags:
Coping With Change, Friday, Period 3
//Right, so, the blame game.// Jono walked into the room today looking tired but triumphant. //I was up all bloody night re-planning this class, because something, somewhere, replaced all of my notes with photographs of bags of garbage sitting at the bottom of a cliff. No, I don't know why. I'm going to say it was the island. That seems to be the case, these days, more often than not.//
Garbage. He couldn't even begin to fathom what in the world was up with that.
//See, the thing about change, like with my new-found collection of rubbish heap photos, is that it's often not our own fault. Unless you have the power to cause natural disasters or you're a large disagreeable wolf, you probably didn't personally blow that house down. Somebody is ill and then they pass- Nothing you could've done about that. You might look further into it, perhaps the construction of the building was faulty or there was malpractice at play. Or perhaps you're on the flip side, looking to sue Planters because they didn't put a warning label on their product, warning you that it might contain nuts.//
That last bit was said mostly in jest, but there were people out there, he was sadly sure, who had most likely tried. Mr. Peanut would be truly disappointed.
//In a lot of cases, however, the blame game is something else. It acts as an excuse to not deal with the situation. It gives rise to a, 'well, they broke it, let them' fix it mentality that gets in the way of moving forward, of repairing the damage done or finding some way to counter it. It's where you end up with scapegoats, where people who might actually have nothing to do with a situation suddenly find themselves in the thick of it because rather than fix or learn to cope with the consequences of change, somebody else decided to pass the blame off on them.//
Jono shrugged his shoulders and held up what were, indeed, twenty-seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photos of garbage with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was.
//Today, I was sorely tempted to come in here and say, 'the island did it,' and throw a video at you lot. Fandom did it, it's not my fault, no harm, no foul. Instead I stayed up half the night - without coffee so help me - on a night I might've otherwise spent tossing around pretending that I'm not an insomniac. Sometimes it isn't your fault, but you have to knuckle down and do something about it anyway. This week, surprising nobody, I want you all to discuss the blame game, talk about the damage that might be caused when somebody prioritizes 'whose fault is this,' over 'how can I fix it?' As always, feel free to use examples from real life, whether you blamed someone else and it ended poorly, or someone blamed you, or somebody you know. 'I don't have to deal with this, it wasn't my fault' is often nice and easy to hold on to, but, unfortunately, that's not how the world works.//
[Open!]
Garbage. He couldn't even begin to fathom what in the world was up with that.
//See, the thing about change, like with my new-found collection of rubbish heap photos, is that it's often not our own fault. Unless you have the power to cause natural disasters or you're a large disagreeable wolf, you probably didn't personally blow that house down. Somebody is ill and then they pass- Nothing you could've done about that. You might look further into it, perhaps the construction of the building was faulty or there was malpractice at play. Or perhaps you're on the flip side, looking to sue Planters because they didn't put a warning label on their product, warning you that it might contain nuts.//
That last bit was said mostly in jest, but there were people out there, he was sadly sure, who had most likely tried. Mr. Peanut would be truly disappointed.
//In a lot of cases, however, the blame game is something else. It acts as an excuse to not deal with the situation. It gives rise to a, 'well, they broke it, let them' fix it mentality that gets in the way of moving forward, of repairing the damage done or finding some way to counter it. It's where you end up with scapegoats, where people who might actually have nothing to do with a situation suddenly find themselves in the thick of it because rather than fix or learn to cope with the consequences of change, somebody else decided to pass the blame off on them.//
Jono shrugged his shoulders and held up what were, indeed, twenty-seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photos of garbage with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was.
//Today, I was sorely tempted to come in here and say, 'the island did it,' and throw a video at you lot. Fandom did it, it's not my fault, no harm, no foul. Instead I stayed up half the night - without coffee so help me - on a night I might've otherwise spent tossing around pretending that I'm not an insomniac. Sometimes it isn't your fault, but you have to knuckle down and do something about it anyway. This week, surprising nobody, I want you all to discuss the blame game, talk about the damage that might be caused when somebody prioritizes 'whose fault is this,' over 'how can I fix it?' As always, feel free to use examples from real life, whether you blamed someone else and it ended poorly, or someone blamed you, or somebody you know. 'I don't have to deal with this, it wasn't my fault' is often nice and easy to hold on to, but, unfortunately, that's not how the world works.//
[Open!]
Re: Discuss!
She knew a lot more about self-blame than blaming others, honestly.
"I think self-blame has a lot to do with trying to gain a measure of control, though. Maybe all blame does. If someone's at fault, then it was something that could have been prevented, maybe even fixed. Blaming yourself--or someone else--might be easier to stomach than the idea that it was just too big or whatever for anyone to affect at all."