fandomhigh | The Modern Workplace and You [Friday, Period 1]

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modern workplace and you

The Modern Workplace and You [Friday, Period 1]

“Okay, class,” Pam said brightly. “Today we’re going to talk about a subject that is near and dear to my heart: creative problem solving. When you’re a Human Resources representative, you need to deal with all sorts of difficulties that might arise in the workplace environment, and it’s your job to be sure that the conflicts are settled in the most amicable and nonconfrontational way possible.”

Could you tell that Pam loved buzzwords? She did. She really, really did.

"Because usually it's not the person being accused's fault," Carol pointed out helpfully. "It's just that someone decided all of a sudden that being told they have enormous oven mitts for hands is a thing they should take to HR so Pam can salivate all over them. God, Lana, it was a compliment."

Because that was probably the HR complaint Carol should worry about. Not any of the numerous destruction-related ones.

“She’s so touchy about the hands,” Pam agreed with a sigh. Gigantic hands were a total turn-on for her. But then, so was everything else. “So sometimes you get people coming to HR to complain about getting compliments, or about Mr. Archer sexually harassing them again, or about someone making porn on official work equipment,” which, seriously, Ms. Archer got so snippy about, “and you have to take all of them really seriously or people can sue the company, like it’s ISIS’s fault that Archer can’t keep it in his pants.”

It was called a ‘hostile work environment,’ Pam.

"And if you get brought in," Carol added, "you have to like, act normal about it. And if someone else goes in and doesn't act normal about it, you have to be really quiet when you're laughing while watching them hit Pam with a puppet or whatever."

She slanted a look over, giggled, and added, "Sorry."

“It was my dolphin puppet,” Pam said, icily, “and just because his mother owns the company makes Archer think he can do whatever he likes.”

Well, he could. And did. So … got it in one, Pam.

“Speaking of puppets,” she said, in a much brighter tone. She produced one with no small amount of fanfare. “Meet Li’l Pammy! Li’l Pammy is very useful for facilitating awkward conversations.” Li’l Pammy was now addressing Carol. “Good afternoon, Carol. What brings you to HR today?”

"I got reported for setting something on fire, probably," Carol said, producing a nail file and proceeding to find that way more interesting than this hypothetical HR meeting.

“Well, Carol,” replied Li’l Pammy, in the sort of syrupy voice that implied she was speaking to a small child, “the problem here is that your co-workers like their desks, and their knick-knacks, and even their trash cans. And when you set those things on fire, you are showing a disrespect for them and for their individuality. Do you understand?”

"But what about my individuality?" Carol whined. "But fine, Li'l Pammy, in the name of getting through this -- fine. I won't set anyone else's stuff on fire and instead I'll express my individuality and creativity by setting unclaimed dumpsters on fire instead."

She looked up from filing her nails and rolled her eyes. "See how moronically easy that was?"

Li’l Pammy was being clenched in one of Pam’s fists, now. “You’re not even gonna try to take this seriously, are you?” Pam snapped. “I even went with the arson thing, and you can’t let me do one simple --”

"LET'S JUST WATCH THE STUPID MOVIE!!!" Carol shrieked, flinging her nail file to the floor.

“FINE!” Pam screamed. “I give up! Whatever! I got one of ISIS’s internal HR movies about conflict resolution, and you’re all going to watch it, and you’re going to like it!”

And when the screen lit up with the movie, that was when Carol's voice drifted in. "Um, yeah, so about that...I kind of switched movies."

She stood by it.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Like there's puppets involved, now.

Such as it is.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with solving conflicts in the workplace.

Who are both here.

holyshitsnacks is ill and I have meetings so you get a movie day!

Elsa of Arendelle

Well...

It could always be worse. Elsa got through this class by reminding herself of that fact. It could always be worse.

Elsa had very little experience with movies and television, as of yet.

Very, very little.

So, the expression of horror on her face as she watched a movie that could be summarized by the sentence 'everyone dies in a fire,' suggested that perhaps she was deciding then and there to never watch television again.

Rilla Blythe

Well then.

At least the ocelot wasn't there?

Cecil Palmer

"Are you okay?" Cecil whispered.

Paddra Nsu-Yeul

"I... I haven't quite decided yet," Elsa murmured back, eyes transfixed on the screen. "Do things like this actually happen? I'm trying to tell myself it's all simply fiction, but..."

Well, the fire did look startlingly real.

Sholeh Zeela a Zhahar

(Zee)

This was totally a movie Zeela could get behind. It helped she was rooting for the fire.

This class was the best class.

Joker Moreau

The movie had nothing to do with anything, but then neither did the entire class.

Joker settled in with a grin. He hadn't seen this one. It was awesome!

Joker caught a glimpse of Elsa's face and frowned. "Has no one explained movies to you, yet? 'Cause... that ain't real. Just think of it like a play. Where all the characters die in a fire. O-ho-ho, this is the best!"

"Oh... it's been explained to me," Elsa replied, looking between Joker and the screen, and then deciding that Joker was by far the least disturbing option. "I just had no idea it could look that real. People enjoy this?"

She could guess where the appeal would be for, say, Cheryl...

Joker shrugged. "Well, yeah. I mean... not as much as Ms. Crazyflakes, who's probably creaming her pants up there, but... It's exciting. It's suspenseful. It's... Ooooh! Okay, how about this?: That guy, right there? He's the hero. He's the knight in shining armor who rode in to save all of these townspeople from a monster. Well, him and the other guy. And the monster? Is the fire."

"The monster is the fire," Elsa echoed, looking back uncertainly at the TV. "That's... quite the analogy, you know."

She turned a tentative smile back toward him.

"Are all movies like this? Heroes and monsters and helpless people waiting to be saved?"

You could even talk to Li'l Pam, if you wanted to. Or the dolphin, who didn't have a name yet.

"I can't believe you switched movies," Pam grumbled. "Just so's you can get off watching things burn down."

Well, obviously. Who watched these movies and rooted for the people?

Next winter I am actually getting the damn flu shot. *bundles self up*

"Well, no," Joker answered. "There's like, romance, and deep philosophical things, and tragedy, and trippy artistic things that don't make any sense..." He shrugged. "You have theater where you come from, don't you? Books? Uhhh... storytellers? Really long poems?"

"All of the above," Elsa replied, covering her mouth with one hand and trying to hide how close she was to just laughing, now. "And I know how much variety those have. But some things here are so different from what I'm used to, I thought perhaps it couldn't hurt to ask."

"A story's a story, no matter how you tell it," Joker told her. "If these people were standing on a stage reciting their lines in front of a badly-drawn picture of a fire, would you still be so horrified?"

"I don't know," Elsa admitted, after a moment. "It's been a long time since I've actually seen a play. Not since I was very little. But I've read books that have left me feeling disturbed. So much more of that is left up to the imagination, though."

"It's better in person," Carol said, shrugging and popping open a bottle of glue.

Cecil thought about it. "Well, I suppose they could. But this one is fiction. Although the effects are pretty good!"

[OOC: Sorry; never got notified. Thanks, LJ!]

"Effects," Elsa echoed, glancing away from the screen. "You mean the fire, right?"

[LJ makes threaddroppers of us all! No worries!]

"And here you have the imaginations of everyone who worked on the film combined into a masterpiece of art for your enjoyment. And fire. If the building doesn't completely collapse at the end, I'm going to be disappointed."

Elsa could handle a little fire! It was sitting back and watching the way everyone else couldn't that was getting to her.

"Maybe after they get everyone else out? Safely?"

Please?

Elsa did not do 'disaster flick' well, apparently.

Sorry, Elsa. "Most of the people with names and speaking roles are gonna be fine," Joker offered with a wince. "The rest? I wouldn't get too attached to."

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Elsa sighed. "Oh well... I suppose it is only fiction, after all."

That didn't mean she had to like it.

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The Modern Workplace and You [Friday, Period 1]

Sign in [1/31]

Listen to the lecture [1/31]

Watch the movie! [1/31]

Talk to Carol and Pam [1/31]

OOC [1/31]

Re: Sign in [1/31]

Re: Listen to the lecture [1/31]

Re: Watch the movie! [1/31]

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Re: Watch the movie! [1/31]

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