fandomhigh | Sexual Health ; Thursday

"So after last week, we know how people become pregnant," Mindy said. She was assuming that everyone had taken away what she hoped they would take away from her strange story. "What I didn't mention is that pregnancy only happens when you're having unprotected heterosexual sex. Obviously there are times when what's intended as safe sex turns out to lead to pregnancy, either because someone thought pulling out would work or the condom was expired or any number of other reasons. But fortunately, there are way more ways to have safe sex than just using condoms, so today we're going to go over some options. Take notes: there's a new one from Belgium that comes in the form of a lollipop."

On every desk in the room today there was a plastic bag filled with a variety of goodies. Inside, students would find examples of some of the more reasonably-priced examples that Mindy was about to list off.

"Birth control, more formally called contraceptives or sexual prophylactics, does basically just what it sounds like: it prevents pregnancy. Because people have a lot of sex that isn't supposed to lead to a child nowadays, there are tons of ways to do it. Some are things that women have to do, some are things men have to do. Some are physical barriers between the sperm and the egg, others are hormonal. Keep in mind, though, that just like the methods vary, the success rates vary too."

She was personally hoping that the testing revealed that the lollipop method was wildly successful. It sounded like a preferable alternative to dealing with condom etiquette and it also sounded yummier.

She clicked to the first slide of the day's Prezi: a picture of a man and a woman in their underwear sitting on opposite sides of the couch, looking annoyed.

"These lectures usually start with a talk about how the only really safe sex is no sex, but I don't think any of you guys would listen to that, am I right?" And Mindy didn't even know about sex pollen week yet. "Abstinence is definitely a valid choice if you're Jessica Simpson circa 2000, but it was recently brought to my attention that modern teens are not so much interested abstaining, so I won't bother to talk about it. Although, if you do not have sex until you're already in med school, that's respectable too."

She meant herself.

"The most popular form of contraceptives is male condoms," Mindy continued as she clicked through to the next slide. "Check your bags for an example of what they look like. They're made of latex and fit over the penis, and they protect against some STIs too, which we'll talk about later. They're usually effective, which isn't perfect, and you also have to worry about the awkward song-and-dance of looking too sexually active if you're carrying them. So, socially, not ideal, but they work pretty well."

Oh, you hadn't expected your sex ed teacher to talk about the social consequences of each example she was about to list off? Think again.

"Next up there's birth control pills, which stop ovulation and can be prescribed by a gynecologist. Women who are sexually active take one a day, but it takes about two weeks for the effects to kick in once you start taking them. They're sort of annoying to take every day, but there's an upside, ladies: if you ask your doctor, you can find one that stops you from getting your period altogether. Birth control pills also decrease your risk of ovarian cancer, acne and anemia. Lots of great side effects."

Mindy continued to list a whole range of other traditional methods, ranging from diaphragms and female condoms to contraceptive sponges and foam. She didn't hesitate to criticize some of the options for being 'itchy' or 'kinda scary to use, especially if you have a strong sense of smell', and she usually went into the aesthetic appeal or lack thereof of most of the examples. When she was done, students might be happy to have that awkward experience over and done with.

"In your bags, there are some handouts for you to go with that info-dump," Mindy said, "and now, I have a list of things you should definitely not use," Mindy said. "People have been obsessed with not having kids for a really long time and had some pretty crazy ideas. Check out these lists and talk to each other. Does anything not seem worth it? Talk about that."

Sexual Health ; Thursday

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