Kaidan Alenko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_a_whiner) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2014-01-21 02:47 pm
not_a_whiner) wrote in fandomhigh2014-01-21 02:47 pm
Handling Your Powers, Tuesday
Kaidan put the students through the physical and mental exercises first this week - he had a feeling it might put them in a better state of mind. When the session was over, he motioned for everyone to sit down again.
"A lot of you have talked about fearing your own emotions," he said, "Especially anger. So... I thought this week, we'd talk about that. Anger. It's... anger is a reaction to something, a secondary emotion that usually covers for something else... often fear. It's nature's way of making sure we can deal with threats to our lives, by knowing when to lash out, when to mass our power and strike. Unfortunately, these days, we don't always need it as much-- and when you're already powerful, it can be an enormous problem."
To put it mildly. Cough.
"People usually recognize three types of ways of dealing with anger. You express it, you suppress it, or you calm it. Now expressing doesn't have to mean you lash out at anybody, it can just mean... letting someone know that what they did made you feel hurt or afraid." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Usually, that's the most productive way of dealing with it, but it's not always the easiest. Suppressing your anger is also an option-- turning it into something you can use, something constructive, by pouring it into something else. The problem with that is... suppressed anger can turn inwards. It'll stew and grow bigger, until you lash out at someone, be it someone else or yourself. It can make you permanently hostile or passive-aggressive or hyper-critical."
"Finally, calming. That's when you don't just talk yourself out of expressing your anger physically, but you try to contain the feelings themselves by lowering your heart-rate and letting the anger go." He leaned back. "None of these approaches are ideal. Each one has their own problems. I've used all three before; it just depends on the situation. Usually, though, when all three fail-- that's when you let rip and something goes wrong."
Shepard and the crew had been least appreciative of Kaidan's brief forages into being snippy and passive-aggressive, funnily enough.
"Some of the techniques we've been going through with the meditation... that fits in with the calming end," he said. "You can also try counting to ten, repeat a mantra or picture something that calms you down. You can also try changing the way you're thinking about what makes you angry. Ask yourself questions. Try to point out to yourself where you aren't being rational. Try to avoid thinking of whatever you're not getting in terms of demands. Think of it as something you'd like to have instead. Or crack jokes. Jokes... sometimes help."
He took a deep breath.
"Anyway, these are just suggestions," he said. "If you're afraid of your own extreme emotions, you have to sit down and draw up a plan that works for you. Try a couple of things, see what works best."
"A lot of you have talked about fearing your own emotions," he said, "Especially anger. So... I thought this week, we'd talk about that. Anger. It's... anger is a reaction to something, a secondary emotion that usually covers for something else... often fear. It's nature's way of making sure we can deal with threats to our lives, by knowing when to lash out, when to mass our power and strike. Unfortunately, these days, we don't always need it as much-- and when you're already powerful, it can be an enormous problem."
To put it mildly. Cough.
"People usually recognize three types of ways of dealing with anger. You express it, you suppress it, or you calm it. Now expressing doesn't have to mean you lash out at anybody, it can just mean... letting someone know that what they did made you feel hurt or afraid." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Usually, that's the most productive way of dealing with it, but it's not always the easiest. Suppressing your anger is also an option-- turning it into something you can use, something constructive, by pouring it into something else. The problem with that is... suppressed anger can turn inwards. It'll stew and grow bigger, until you lash out at someone, be it someone else or yourself. It can make you permanently hostile or passive-aggressive or hyper-critical."
"Finally, calming. That's when you don't just talk yourself out of expressing your anger physically, but you try to contain the feelings themselves by lowering your heart-rate and letting the anger go." He leaned back. "None of these approaches are ideal. Each one has their own problems. I've used all three before; it just depends on the situation. Usually, though, when all three fail-- that's when you let rip and something goes wrong."
Shepard and the crew had been least appreciative of Kaidan's brief forages into being snippy and passive-aggressive, funnily enough.
"Some of the techniques we've been going through with the meditation... that fits in with the calming end," he said. "You can also try counting to ten, repeat a mantra or picture something that calms you down. You can also try changing the way you're thinking about what makes you angry. Ask yourself questions. Try to point out to yourself where you aren't being rational. Try to avoid thinking of whatever you're not getting in terms of demands. Think of it as something you'd like to have instead. Or crack jokes. Jokes... sometimes help."
He took a deep breath.
"Anyway, these are just suggestions," he said. "If you're afraid of your own extreme emotions, you have to sit down and draw up a plan that works for you. Try a couple of things, see what works best."
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Exercises
Then he sat down and guided them through a meditation exercise. Mountains, this time; he wanted them to be calm.
Re: Exercises
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It still helped, no matter how ridiculous she felt.
Discussion: Anger
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Re: Discussion: Anger
He'd rather just stew in his own issues here, thanks.
The Floor Is Open
Talk to the Teacher
OOC
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