The Modern Workplace and You: Friday, period 1

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

“Look, you guys!” Cheryl greeted the class (sans ocelot today, sorry guys) by waving mass of yarn that might have been some sort of clothing item at the class. “Freaking finally. I've been working on this since, like, last year.”

It was only January, Cheryl. Calm down.

“That’s not as impressive as you think it is,” Pam said brightly. “So, last week we had you all introduce yourselves and list some of your skills, and some of you even had useful ones, which is pretty good. We were supposed to talk about personal safety and I had all these notes written up on the subject but someone can’t keep her damn ocelot from shredding anything that comes out of the printer.”

Not naming names, here, Cheryl.

“It's not my fault that your stupid printer is next to the spot where he likes to shred things!” Cheryl pointed out, all logically. “So, whatever, who cares even about personal safety. You guys aren't going to like, bang your heads on any coffee tables or whatever in the next week or two, right? We'll get there eventually.” Teenagers, Cheryl. Not toddlers.

“For now, we're gonna do self-expression!” And to punctuate that, she was going to start putting on her macramed top. Over her clothes. Don't worry. Cheryl didn't want to share her ta-tas with you any more than most of you probably wanted to see them.

“That’s supposed to be a shirt?” Pam asked incredulously. “That looks like a bunch of spaghetti threw up on itself.”

“It's a bikini,” Cheryl sniffed. “Just because you couldn't get it to fit over even one of your boobs doesn't mean it's not awesome.” GREAT EXAMPLE YOU'RE SETTING, CHERYL.

“Don’t be dissin’ my curves, chicken-legs,” Pam replied. They were besties. Really. “It’s tacky, is what it is. Today we’re gonna talk about expressing yourself outside a work environment. That can be by macrame-ing really hideous slutty tops, like this one over here did, orrrrrr by doing something hugely talented and amazing like I did!”

Pam produced a huge gigantic -- cake-looking thing. Except it was a farm. Done entirely in marzipan and graham crackers. The last time she’d made one, Ms. Archer had poured coffee on it; this one had been kept way the hell away from both Cheryl and her deranged ocelot as a result.

“You can eat that,” Cheryl told the class, now totally wearing a macrame bikini top over a collared shirt like it was the most normal thing ever. “Like, for reals. So we're gonna have you guys, like, tell us about how you...express yourselves, or whatever. And then you're going to do our way better hobbies.”

“Like working up a tag that doesn’t piss off any of the local gangs, but still gets you decent street cred,” Pam agreed. It was weird to hear someone who looked like Pam talk about gang culture, right? Especially when she was holding a cute marzipan farm. “So, let’s do some arts and crafts!”

Comments

Sign In [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

Enjoying one of your hobbies.

Re: Sign In [1-17]

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Sholeh Zeela a Zhahar

(Zee)

During the Lecture [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

Down one ocelot, but the insanity level seems to be holding steady.

Re: During the Lecture [1-17]

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Zee was pretty bummed about the lack of ocelot. That was pretty much the whole reason she'd volunteered to be the TA.

Ugh. Bait and switch.

Re: During the Lecture [1-17]

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Minus one ocelot: check. Joker was still staying in the back of the room, just on principle. The more distance between him and crazy, the better.

Your Lame Hobbies or Whatever [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

Talk about your dumb stupid hobbies here, so we can make fun of you for them.

Re: Your Lame Hobbies or Whatever [1-17]

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"I knit," Rilla offered, "which is a little like macrame, I suppose..."

Though she'd never ever ever made a bikini top. Or thought of doing so.

Re: Your Lame Hobbies or Whatever [1-17]

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

Elsa was a touch iffy about this one, sharing anything about herself in front of this particular pair of teachers, but she steeled herself all the same.

"I study, mostly," she admitted. "But I do sometimes enjoy singing."

Mostly alone, where nobody could hear her and get any weird ideas about starting conversations with her about it or something. Which was actually a bit of a crime.

Re: Your Lame Hobbies or Whatever [1-17]

[voiceoverdue]

"I'm really into radio, so sometimes I like listening to shows or podcasts or whatever. I also like bowling. And I'm a big fan of science!" Cecil declared.

For values of "science" that meant "mooning at a scientist", but that was just details.

Re: Your Lame Hobbies or Whatever [1-17]

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"Video games," Joker announced. "Lots of 'em. Whenever I'm not studying, or hanging with my friends. Not so much lately for any of those, though. I've mostly been playing match-3 games on my omnitool."

Arts & Crafts Station 1: Macrame [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

At station one, you'll find lots of festive yarn, and some of those plastic bar things, but no, uh, instructions or anything on how to actually do macrame.

Look, Pam and Cheryl aren't here to baby-sit your whiny teenage asses. Figure it out yourselves.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 1: Macrame [1-17]

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Okay, this hobby looked dumb as hell. There was no way Zee was going to play with string and plastic, especially to make whatever it was that Cheryl was wearing.

Nope! Skipping this table.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 1: Macrame [1-17]

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla poked at the pieces, trying to figure out how this worked.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 1: Macrame [1-17]

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

It was just... tying knots, right? Elsa could do that much. Though when she was done, she was still mostly just left with a ball of knots.

This was not working according to plan at all.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 1: Macrame [1-17]

[voiceoverdue]

Cecil did his best. It...sort of looked like a demented cat's cradle.

Maybe Khoshekh would like it?

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 1: Macrame [1-17]

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

No instructions? No dice. The amount of time it would take Joker to google how to do macrame was more time than he ever wanted to spend on yarn.

Arts & Crafts Station 2: Marzipan [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

There’s just loads of marzipan here, in all kinds of different colors and shapes. There are also little edible buttons and googly eyes, and graham crackers, and frosting, and other moddable edible cuteness.

Make something adorable. Or stuff your face. Or make something adorable, and then stuff it into your face.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 2: Marzipan [1-17]

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Zhahar really wanted Zee to stop here and mess around with marzipan. And Zee was tempted, if only because then it meant she could eat whatever Zhari cobbled together.

But then the stupid marzipan wouldn't fold properly and the frosting got all over her hands and Zee's patience quickly dwindled.

*No, you have to gently pinch it! Gently!*

=Yeah, over this.=

Taking the narration's advice, she shoved the mess she'd made into her face and moved on.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 2: Marzipan [1-17]

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla was an okay cook by now, but making things pretty, she learned quite rapidly, was completely beyond her.

"Ugh!" she said, frustrated when her little marzipan balls wouldn't stick together to make a tiny marzipan piggie.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 2: Marzipan [1-17]

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

Oh. Working with food? Elsa looked at the marzipan, and then at her gloves, and then at the marzipan again.

Better not.

She was going to just sit back a little and look like she was thinking very hard about what she wanted to make for the rest of the class period.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 2: Marzipan [1-17]

[voiceoverdue]

Cecil made a five-headed dragon. Well, okay, it looked more like five lumpy snakes stuck together on one end. But it was totally Hiram McDaniels!

Arts & Crafts Station 3: Graffiti

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

There’s a ripped out chunk of wall just sitting along one side of the room -- say seven feet high and thirty feet long, almost entirely* blank white. Next to it are loads of cans of different colors of spray paint. Try to work up a tag that represents you. Something you can reproduce quickly and reliably, the same way each time, even if you're hanging upside-down and hoping the po-po don't spot you.

*There's totally a PAM (http://imgur.com/jpFrQsR.png) in the corner. Bitches betta recognize.

Re: Arts & Crafts Station 3: Graffiti

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Oooh, see? Now this was pretty cool. Zee knew exactly what she was going to draw. Grabbing a can, she drew a triangle with a heart inside of it. And then, for funsies, added an S, a Z, and another Z in tiny letters in each of the triangle's corners.

Aww, yeah. Art.

Holy Shit, There's a TA [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

Ask Zeela what head injury convinced her to join up with these two loons.

Re: Holy Shit, There's a TA [1-17]

[3girls-1core.livejournal.com]

Zeela was not going to help you with your plastic string art, but if you wanted to feed her, that'd be pretty cool.

Talk to Pam and Cheryl [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

Ask them the secrets of the universe. Or the secrets of hot sauce. Or the secrets of being effective competent work employees.

Hint: they don't know any of those things.

Re: Talk to Pam and Cheryl [1-17]

[notmysupervisor.livejournal.com]

In an effort to be a nice teacher, Cheryl was trying to think of something she could say about all the different projects the kids were working on.

Her efforts were totally failing, though, since nothing she could think of would necessarily be classified as "encouraging" or "complimentary."

OOC [1-17]

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

Hey, inappropriate workplace topic!

... and also, a deal-breaker.

Re: OOC [1-17]

[spin_kick_snap]

Look, no herpes!