Coping With Change, Friday, Period 3

[furnaceface]

Jono was looking a little tired as he stood in front of the students in his classroom today, leaning back against his desk as usual, wrapped in leather up to the nostrils and hair still tousled as though he'd just fallen out of bed. Odds were, he probably had. Was it reassuring at all to know that your teacher had a difficult time pulling it together too, kids?

Nightmares were a bit like that.

//Right, then. Last week I had you all give introductions, and, while sharing a change in your life was optional, most of you did talk a little bit about what you've been through, what you're expecting to go through, or what you're going through now. I'm… actually a little honored that you shared those things in my classroom. Actually accepting that something has changed in your life is a difficult step to take. Opening up and telling it to another person, let alone a group of people, can be bloody terrifying. Like… it becomes real if you admit it aloud. You can't sit in that safe little fantasy bubble forever, of course. Sooner or later you have to just accept that the world around you has become a little different, that family changes or your surroundings are different or you'll never quite look right again when you see yourself in a mirror.//

Getting a little bit personal, Chamber.

//Here's the thing, though. You can sit and say no, nothing's changed, all you like. You can pick and choose what you're willing to accept until you're blue in the face - hell, I very literally did.// And wasn't that a story for another day. //But you can't really move on with your life, you can't begin to heal from a change, until you finally stare it in the face and acknowledge that it happened. I want to spend the next few weeks covering that notion, that idea that coping with change doesn't start until you've squared your shoulders and decided to confront it.//

Jono had gotten better about that one, over the years. He'd had more opportunities to get it right than most people should ever have had to see. And some of them had been flat-out ugly.

//When it all really comes down to it, nobody has control over how you cope with a serious change except for you. You're the one with the power to accept or deny the truth, you're the one who makes the choice to begin to deal with it, whatever that might entail. You can choose to prepare yourself for a change you know is resting on the horizon, or to bury your head in the sand while the sky falls around you in the hopes that maybe it'll go away on its own. And trust me, it very rarely chooses to go away on its own.//

He drummed his fingers against the top of his desk just once, and then shrugged his shoulders.

//This week, I want you to all focus not on what you can't do or can't accept, but what you can. Let's talk about what you can bring to the table. I want you to think about things you've used in the past in order to help yourself come to terms with something that's changed in your life, things you can do that bring you peace or make you feel empowered. It can be a talent you've cultivated through your life, a bit of knowledge that you've picked up over the years, a power that you have that you've found useful before. Take me for example. I'm a mutant. By some twisted quirk of fate, the same mutation that robbed me of a mouth just happened to give me telepathy to communicate with. I'm a musician. I can't sing anymore, but I do play guitar. It helps me to relax on days that have been especially overwhelming. Helps me not think too hard when I've been mulling over the hard truths for so long it hurts. I'm a fighter. I was always up for a good pub brawl when I was younger, but these days I mean it more in that, 'if somebody is threatening my life, I can do something about it' sense. And if all else fails, I can probably blow it up with my face. No, you don't get a demonstration.//

Not today, at least.

//I know, this might seem a bit like jumping the gun, leaping straight to possible tools for finding solutions before even getting into how to come to accept the truth about the change in your life, but it all ties in. Believe it or not, when you familiarize yourself with what you're capable of, when you take a moment to actually explore what it is you can control in your life, you might be able to feel a little less helpless in the face of those things that were beyond your control to begin with. So… have at it. Take a moment to take inventory of your personal arsenal. I'd love if you felt comfortable sharing with the class- Perhaps one of you will list something that another person never stopped to consider a strength of their own, even if it is. But sharing, as always, is optional. I just want you to be aware of what you can do, however small or insignificant it might seem.//

[Open!]

Comments

Sign In!

[furnaceface]

Empowered!

Re: Sign In!

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy Li

Re: Sign In!

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

Eleanor Lamb

Lecture!

[furnaceface]

Listen to it! Or draw or write notes or whatever makes you happy. Jonothon's lectures… they aren't exactly short.

Re: Lecture!

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy took notes as Mr. Stars--as Jono's lecture wound down. She had a pretty easy answer for hist question, but she wanted to make some lists and see if she couldn't come up with coping mechanisms that weren't as obvious.

Re: Lecture!

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

You'll never quite look right again when you see yourself in a mirror.

She looked the same, but she never would be. Whenever she glanced in a mirror, it was as though she could see it -- the horrid thing inside of her, filling her bloodstream with its cells.

She wasn't Eleanor anymore, but Eleanor-plus-odd-sea-slug, and some days it felt transparent, as if she had FREAK tattooed upon her face.

Inventory Your Arsenal!

[furnaceface]

List off anything you can do that you feel might help you come to terms with or deal with changes in your life. You can write them down to keep in mind for yourself, or you can share with the class.

It can be anything from 'I'm a kickboxing champion' to 'I feel at ease when I bake cupcakes.' You know what you're capable of better than anybody else, but people all too often sell themselves short. Do any other answers apply to you, too?

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[spin_kick_snap]

"When things get really loud in my brain, I do gymnastics," Kathy said after raising her hand. "If I want to think a problem through, I just do stretches and basic moves. You know, cartwheels, handsprings, aerials, stuff like that. If I want to not think or just tire myself out, I do a whole performance. Do my best to keep my form perfect. It takes a lot of focus, so I can't worry about other things."

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[furnaceface]

//A gymnast, hm?// Jono gave an appreciative nod. He didn't exactly think of himself as one, no, but he could do his fair share of acrobatics all while wearing tight leather, himself. //It does take a fair bit of focus, yes. Have you found it's freeing, too, in that moment when you haven't quite come back to earth again and everything just sort of... hangs there? Waiting for it.//

Damn, he missed being able to fly, right then.

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

"I can love," Eleanor said carefully. "I can accept what happened and still choose to love. To care for others, to give of myself, even to forgive. I can remember that ... what happened to me isn't what defines me. That I define me, and ... and that I won't be consumed by hate, or by anything unless I choose to be."

She flushed darkly. Surely that wasn't what Jono had meant. Surely, the others had to be staring at her for such a strange answer.

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[furnaceface]

And while she was busy blushing, Jono was practically beaming at that answer.

//You can love,// he agreed with a nod. //You can choose to be better than the people and the circumstances that hurt you. Everyone has that capacity, that ability to decide whether they're defined by their pain and their anger or their determination to move beyond it. It takes some people their entire lives to realize that, you know.//

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

The first answer that sprang to Celia's mind was magical, of course. But she took a moment to mull over whether that was really the strongest tool she possessed. Eleanor's answer had given her pause, and made her think more deeply.

"I'm resilient," she said quietly, after a moment. "I can adapt. I can spring back from being hurt. I can, literally and figuratively, heal myself when the situation calls for it." She offered a small, wobbly smile. "And if I don't like my new surroundings, I can change them."

That seemed like an answer she liked, whole and true.

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[furnaceface]

//A little resilience can go a long way, and healing, even longer,// Jono replied, thoughtfully. He was going to be getting some poignant answers to his question today, wasn't he?

Of course he was. These were Fandom students.

//And as for the last bit-- Sometimes, that's what it takes.// He offered her something like a smile in turn. //I'm in the process of packing up and moving, myself, because the surroundings I had were just causing me more harm than good. There are times when stepping out of or changing the setting you're surrounded by is the best thing you can do for yourself.//

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[voiceoverdue]

"I...um." Cecil frowned. "I'm not sure. I mean, in general? I just sort of say, 'Well, it's changed. What are you going to do about it, Cecil?' and go from there. Either ignore it, or accept it, or bitch about it on the radio, or whatever."

He shrugged. "With my latest big change...well, I just keep reminding myself I did already survive growing up once, so I'm sure I can do it again. I even know more this time than the last! But I don' really know if that helps anyone else."

Though he might be surprised.

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[furnaceface]

//Don't discount the things that you've learned getting to the place that you're at,// Jono replied, giving Cecil an encouraging nod. //It took me a long time to come to terms with all of the changes in my life, but after a while, you start to see little things. Patterns, similarities, bits and pieces in new problems that arise that you can apply old knowledge to. Experience is absolutely a tool, Cecil. Don't be afraid to draw from it."

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[walkswithcoyote]

"I bake and I clean when I feel stressed," Mercy said. "It doesn't always help directly, but it gives me something else to focus on."

She hesitated, this was still harder for her to talk about. "Also... sometimes I shift into a coyote and go for a long run. That makes me feel better a lot of the time. Which is why I got a tattoo of a coyote pawprint, to remind of that part of me and that it's important."

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[furnaceface]

//It's true, it is,// Jono replied, sounding proud of her for saying as much. //When I lost this voice, years ago, it was really the first time I appreciated just how much a part of me it was. You know... I resented it for the longest time, this voice, these powers... everything that came with them. The problems they caused seemed to outweigh any good they could do me.//

And he'd held on to that notion for years.

//And then they were taken away, and I was left feeling... blind and deaf and mute, even with a mouth to speak with. A part of me had been taken away, and it was one that was more intrinsic to my sense of self than I had ever anticipated.//

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[lil-nikita.livejournal.com]

"Punching a bag," Alex said simply. "If I feel stressed or need to deal with anything, that usually does the trick. It's good for getting out pent up anger or just to release all the tension. It helps."

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

"Well, if it's a bad change, and I can do something about it, I push back. And you'd be surprised how hard I can push. Sometimes, whether or not you can fix things just depends on how far you're willing to go."

Also, Joker wasn't going to admit to it, but he was exhibiting one of his favorite coping strategies right now: acting smug and superior, so he doesn't have to deal with how lost and weak he really feels.

"If I just have to cope, and learn to live with something, though... I hit up the games pretty hard. When it's all reflexes and action, and you don't have anything in front of you but the present moment, all the tension just drains away, you know?" In other words, less "coping" and more "avoiding". Same thing, more or less, when you plaster a happy face on the front of it.

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[pulseof_life]

"I gave up fear," Yeul said quietly, thinking about the other answers that people had given. "And I have come to accept my circumstances, so I would echo another and say that I adapt."

Re: Inventory Your Arsenal!

[selfhelphero]

"I guess I'm flexible," Billy said. "Um, not physically--I mean, I am, but--anyway, what I mean is, every time I think things in my life are going to calm down, they go haywire again and I've just learned to focus on changing whatever I can and not trying to change everything." He hoped that wasn't too weird of an answer. "Also, I have really supportive parents and friends, and while that's not necessarily a tool I personally have, it is awfully nice to have people to talk to."

Talk to the TA!

[furnaceface]

If he's around, he's had a lot of experience with change!

Re: Talk to the TA!

[voiceoverdue]

Cecil knew from change, yep! He was really interested in what other folks might have to say, though.

Talk to Jono!

[furnaceface]

He'll be staying after class today, as usual, in case anybody wants to talk to him.

And after that, he's going back home to nap.

OOC!

[furnaceface]

I am not yet ready to accept that X-Men Legacy #22 was a thing that happened. I'm going to cling to the denial stage until #23 at least.