fandomhigh | Advanced Criminal Justice, Class 13, Period 1, 02.21.06

[OOC: I didn't get started on this until it was late and I was too tired to do a full Police Squad thing. Therefore, we take a break from that and go with something I threw together at the last minute. And for something thrown together at the last minute, it's kinda heady. I'm special that way. Class Info Post.]

The Tick stood at the podium with a thoughtful look on his face as the class walked in. Lockheed sat on his shelf with a tired look on his face. There was also snoring coming from the wee dragon.

"Hello, class! A couple points to start the week before we begin our discussion today. First, Rory should have all of your essays by now. Hopefully she grades faster than me. *ahem* Second, has anyone seen Jack O'Neill around? He's barely been to class this month. Third, Logan if I could speak to you after class for a moment, that would be keen."

"Okay. We will be taking a short break from the case files of Sgt. Drebin in the name of discussing an important question. This question will be on your final in several weeks, but I thought it would be good to get your opinions on it now and see how it compares to the end of the semester."

"All of us have seen a lot of weird things in Fandom. Zombies attacked, we warded them off but it seems that most of us never really knew what caused it. Evil snowmen attack as part of a revenge game against me, according to the radio - and I apologize for that, by the way - and we drive them away as a massive force. A vampire attacks several people, leading to a group of student vigilantes - which I am just referring to as an example, so please don't think I'm saying anything bad - banding together to fight the forces of evil. That same vampire disappears for some time, comes back claiming to be different, and she is immediately taken in and held in prison. Our mayor leaves, opening the town up for people to do wrong. Suddenly a strong leader takes office without bothering with an election. Before our new mayor became mayor, she was controlled by something that made her attempt to slaughter everyone in Fandom with ducks, but after I fought with him-slash-her, she returned to normal and all duck attacks were forgotten."

"Each of these points could be taken to be an example of the struggle between Good versus Evil, Right versus Wrong. Any of these points, and more that I didn't list, could be interpreted in terms of Justice as well. My question to you is simple, but the answers will probably be complex: What do you think of how Justice works in Fandom? Does it work well? Does it work at all? Do we even have it? Do we have so much of it that the Justice family forms a long line at the Lunch Buffet of Right? Feel free to use the gven examples or others if you would like."

"This week's metaphor is fish. And for extra credit, please develop a word for that Justicey feeling you get inside your heart when you see Justice done. No, you cannot use 'Justicey.'"

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Homework and EC if you get it done today, please.

Justice is like a fish, swimming along with the current of society (except for those rogue salmon vigilantes). And when that fish gets caught or ends up flopping around on the shore, it's just like that one bad guy getting away. Or maybe that fish gets caught and you have a little bit of justice for a high-protein brain food dinner.

I think this one got away from me.

"When I think of perpetuating a crime? I think of Lew Zealand and his boomerang fish. Why? Because like a boomerang fish, your crimes will always come back to you. Most likely smacking you in the forehead and leaving you with a stinky fishy smell for the rest of the day or jail term."

EC: "Doink-Doink"

Bottom-feeding fish are like superheroes, sucking up the scum of the pond just like superheroes take the scum of society off to jail. They're a necessary part of the Ecosystem of Justice.

For extra credit, Janet's having a hard time moving beyond the bounds of traditional English and making up a word. So she scribbles down "happyish" and hopes that counts.

[OOC: Did you just call superheroes "bottom-feeders"? Egads, Janet. Egads. :) ]

OOC: Hee! Janet is way worse with writing metaphors than her player is, and I have fun trying to come up with some horrible ones. I think this is the worst yet!

Justice is like a shark, doomed to an existence of unceasing forward movement lest it drown under the weight of evil doers.

Metaphor: Justice is like a goldfish: easy to take for granted, but still beautiful if you take the time to stop and appreciate it.

EC: Justice...ful?

Justice is the Fish in the Great Ocean of Life: Sometimes it's the great Shark of Enforcement that swoops in speedily upon smelling the Blood of Injustice. Sometimes it's the School of Vigilence that keeps a constant watch for crime. And sometimes it's a grubby little bottom feeder who none the less ends up finding the Debris of Truth on the Sea Floor of Society.

EC: "Smugitude"

Metaphor: Criminals are the tuna in the nigiri of Justice: Sliced thin by the blades of Law, placed firmly upon the sushi rice of Righteousness, and spiced by the wasabi of Rehabilitation. The palate of Society is refreshed between pieces by the picked ginger of Freedom.

EC: Justicular

It's possible Sam was a bit hungry when she completed her assignment.

Justice is the fish that when bought fresh from the market and prepared immediately with care can be the basis for a rich and luxurious meal of Society. If it is however left to lay around for too long and no one takes care to cook it right away, it will start to stink as the fishy body of Justice is left to rot.

EC: Frebality.

Catching Justice is like catching a fish. Maybe a swordfish. It wiggles, and pulls, and requires effort to land, but if a fisherman really wants it, and uses the Line of Law, it can make a rewarding dish. Pull too hard, or try to use the Line of Shortcuts or forget the Net of Order, and it gets away.

EC: juppy. (Portmanteau of Justice and Happy.)

Justice is the sword that slays the Giant Goo Fish.

Happinated

Justice has the persistence of a salmon, who will swim upstream against odds that should be impossible just to accomplish its mission of spawning.

Archie conveniently left out the "and then dying" bit, because that's just depressing.

Advanced Criminal Justice, Class 13, Period 1, 02.21.06

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