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fandomhigh2013-11-04 12:24 am
allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2013-11-04 12:24 am
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Science You Cannot Possibly Comprehend, Monday, Period 5
"I should apologize. Up until now, we have maintained a fairly high standard for the level of scientific knowledge we have explored. And yet, this week's lesson is a large step beyond, as it not only brings us from mechanical science to biological science, but it also introduces you to the arcane sciences," Doom explained. "And yet, you will receive no apologies. The class is entitled 'Science You Cannot Possibly Understand.' The disclaimer was in the title."
"First, let me explain that despite what you may think, magic is nothing more than a science that operates under different rules than the traditional sciences," Doom said. "We shall explore this more in future classes, but for now, know that I have spent a lifetime applying myself to mysticism with significant success."
"Now, a story. Remember Reed Richards, my rival who recklessly transformed his family into monsters while committing a poorly-considered felony. Many incorrectly imagine him to be the greatest scientific mind in my world, despite his failures and his utter rejection of magic. They believe him to be able to accomplish anything. And yet, he was unable to rescue his daughter both times her birth proved difficult. Some explanation is necessary."
Doom went on to explain the story of Valeria Richards. Her mother, Sue Richards (which was also a great sentence by itself), tended to have difficult childbirths due to the cosmic radiation in her body. Each time she was pregnant, her body became very weak. His first child, Franklin, was eventually born safely. But years later Valeria was apparently stillborn despite her father's best efforts. Due to Franklin's admittedly remarkable mutant control over the very fabric of reality, Valeria was actually sent to an alternate future where she would be raised as the daughter of Sue and Doom, grow to become a young woman, travel back in time to after her failed birth, sacrifice herself to save the universe, and then find herself once again in her mother's womb, soon to be born.
Take that, Summerses. How many of YOU were ever born twice?
Doom continued, explaining that this second time around was just as difficult as the first. But this time, Reed was indisposed. "And with the lives of Susan and the child hanging in the balance, Susan's brother, Johnny, came to me for help. It was a problem Ricahrds would have been ill-suited for anyway. A simple machine could not have saved mother and child. What was required was a combination of science and magic."
Doom then explained how he managed that, which is being handwaved as SOMEBODY hasn't read that comic and doesn't know specifics, ahem.
"I did this, all with one condition; I would name the child. I chose the name 'Valeria,' as it is of some importance to me, just as this child has proven to be as well. It causes her father no end of annoyance that she chooses to call me her Uncle Doom," Doom bragged. "And so I allow it."
"You shall not be attempting anything as complicated as magic-assisted childbirth, you shall be combining traditional and arcane sciences in one machine," Doom said. "However, you shall be using runestones I have prepared. Each stone has one purpose that will enhance the functionality of a common machine. By next week, you will need to combine the stone with the machine in an unobtrusive way. You will have several rune/machine combinations to choose from. Pay close attention now, as I will explain how to activate the magic of the runes when you are ready."
"First, let me explain that despite what you may think, magic is nothing more than a science that operates under different rules than the traditional sciences," Doom said. "We shall explore this more in future classes, but for now, know that I have spent a lifetime applying myself to mysticism with significant success."
"Now, a story. Remember Reed Richards, my rival who recklessly transformed his family into monsters while committing a poorly-considered felony. Many incorrectly imagine him to be the greatest scientific mind in my world, despite his failures and his utter rejection of magic. They believe him to be able to accomplish anything. And yet, he was unable to rescue his daughter both times her birth proved difficult. Some explanation is necessary."
Doom went on to explain the story of Valeria Richards. Her mother, Sue Richards (which was also a great sentence by itself), tended to have difficult childbirths due to the cosmic radiation in her body. Each time she was pregnant, her body became very weak. His first child, Franklin, was eventually born safely. But years later Valeria was apparently stillborn despite her father's best efforts. Due to Franklin's admittedly remarkable mutant control over the very fabric of reality, Valeria was actually sent to an alternate future where she would be raised as the daughter of Sue and Doom, grow to become a young woman, travel back in time to after her failed birth, sacrifice herself to save the universe, and then find herself once again in her mother's womb, soon to be born.
Take that, Summerses. How many of YOU were ever born twice?
Doom continued, explaining that this second time around was just as difficult as the first. But this time, Reed was indisposed. "And with the lives of Susan and the child hanging in the balance, Susan's brother, Johnny, came to me for help. It was a problem Ricahrds would have been ill-suited for anyway. A simple machine could not have saved mother and child. What was required was a combination of science and magic."
Doom then explained how he managed that, which is being handwaved as SOMEBODY hasn't read that comic and doesn't know specifics, ahem.
"I did this, all with one condition; I would name the child. I chose the name 'Valeria,' as it is of some importance to me, just as this child has proven to be as well. It causes her father no end of annoyance that she chooses to call me her Uncle Doom," Doom bragged. "And so I allow it."
"You shall not be attempting anything as complicated as magic-assisted childbirth, you shall be combining traditional and arcane sciences in one machine," Doom said. "However, you shall be using runestones I have prepared. Each stone has one purpose that will enhance the functionality of a common machine. By next week, you will need to combine the stone with the machine in an unobtrusive way. You will have several rune/machine combinations to choose from. Pay close attention now, as I will explain how to activate the magic of the runes when you are ready."
Sign In
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Listen to the Lecture
At the end of the lecture, he goes on to explain the handwavey magic words that will activate the runes. Be wary of them if you want, but you'd better recite them if you want your devices to work.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
It didn't help matters that he looked like crap and felt like crap either.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Even if Doom's runes were a little weird.
Begin Work
*There is an alarm clock with a runestone that will spray water on anyone approaching.
*There is a bulky cell phone with a runestone that will create an aura extending four inches around the phone from which no sound will escape. This way you can have conversations as loud as you want without disturbing anyone. This probably destroys speaker phone, though.
*There is a single can burner with a runestone that generates hellfire that will purify any food that is places within the flame. Take the grossest meat you want and throw it in there and it will be healthy!
*A small portable radio with a runestone that will disable the radio whenever Justin Bieber is played. This may seem strangely specific, yes, but there's totally a rune for that. Once the song is over, power will be restored to the radio.
*A flashlight with a runestone that will make the lightbeam expose the infrared and ultraviolet ranges to the human eye.
That is all. Choose one and start working for next week. Each person must choose their own device.
Re: Begin Work
Re: Begin Work
Clearly, Billy had not watched enough crime dramas.
Re: Begin Work
He actually did everything perfectly this class; Cecil knew radio and runes!
Speak to Loki
Speak to Doom
OOC