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fandomhigh2013-09-26 01:45 pm
professor-lyman.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2013-09-26 01:45 pm
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Current Affairs [Tuesday, September 26, 2013]
"Right," Josh said from his spot at his desk. "This week we're going to talk aimlessly without a good goddamn reason. We're going to call it 'Cruzing' in honor of Texas Senator Ted Cruz who talked for 21 straight hours on the floor of the Senate literally to listen to the sound of his own voice. He wasn't filibustering. He ended up voting for the procedure he was allegedly trying to delay. But we did get to hear him talk about Ashton Kutcher and read 'Green Eggs and Ham' so that was time completely wasted."
He ran his hands through his hair for what was clearly not the first time today. "Okay. Let me explain a little bit about what was going on. The Republicans hate the Affordable Health Care act, or as they call it, 'Obamacare' because everything with his name in it is clearly evil to their base. They hate it so much that they have voted 41 times in the House of Representatives to overturn it. They campaigned against it during the last presidential election. If you stand next to one and make eye contact for longer than ten seconds, they'll probably start ranting about it. Tough toenails, cupcakes, it passed, it was signed into law and it was upheld by the Supreme Court. Rational people would have moved the hell on, but this is the Republican Party and they stopped being rational back in the '90s."
He took a breath. "Right. So a good portion of the ACA rolls out next week with the new fiscal year in a non-election year because Democrats aren't idiots. They want the kinks to work out before next November when they're up in the midterms. The House, using the mature level we normally only find in kindergartners, passed a bill last week that would only refinance the entire government for the next fiscal year if we also defunded Obamacare. The Senate, being populated by grown ups, will never pass this version of the budget, which brings us to Cruz. He talked for 21 hours and 19 minutes in an effort to delay the vote on the Senate version of the budget bill, which includes the funding for the health care bill. Ironically, if you're into that sort of thing, even if they do shut down the goverment on Monday the health care stuff will roll out because it's not linked to the discretionary spending of the goverment--it's part of Medicare."
Josh glanced at the teal deer pushing their noses against the classroom window. He had been talking a while. Oops. "So Cruz talked for 21 hours, then voted in favor of the cloture--along with every other Senator--to bring the bill up for a final vote. So he affected nothing other than appeasing his own, clearly gargantuon ego, and comparing the members of his own party to Nazi-appeasing Brits for not joining him in a doomed and pointless exercise. So he made a lot of friends.
"Today, you're going to stand up and babble on as long as you can until a classmate interrupts you with a question or a recipe or whatever. The rules of the Senate fillabuster are pretty easy: you have to keep standing and you have to keep talking unless a colleague comes to help you out with a question. You can't sit down then, either, but you can get a glass of water. You also can't leave the room for any reason."
He sat down. "Okay then. Fillibuster away!"
He ran his hands through his hair for what was clearly not the first time today. "Okay. Let me explain a little bit about what was going on. The Republicans hate the Affordable Health Care act, or as they call it, 'Obamacare' because everything with his name in it is clearly evil to their base. They hate it so much that they have voted 41 times in the House of Representatives to overturn it. They campaigned against it during the last presidential election. If you stand next to one and make eye contact for longer than ten seconds, they'll probably start ranting about it. Tough toenails, cupcakes, it passed, it was signed into law and it was upheld by the Supreme Court. Rational people would have moved the hell on, but this is the Republican Party and they stopped being rational back in the '90s."
He took a breath. "Right. So a good portion of the ACA rolls out next week with the new fiscal year in a non-election year because Democrats aren't idiots. They want the kinks to work out before next November when they're up in the midterms. The House, using the mature level we normally only find in kindergartners, passed a bill last week that would only refinance the entire government for the next fiscal year if we also defunded Obamacare. The Senate, being populated by grown ups, will never pass this version of the budget, which brings us to Cruz. He talked for 21 hours and 19 minutes in an effort to delay the vote on the Senate version of the budget bill, which includes the funding for the health care bill. Ironically, if you're into that sort of thing, even if they do shut down the goverment on Monday the health care stuff will roll out because it's not linked to the discretionary spending of the goverment--it's part of Medicare."
Josh glanced at the teal deer pushing their noses against the classroom window. He had been talking a while. Oops. "So Cruz talked for 21 hours, then voted in favor of the cloture--along with every other Senator--to bring the bill up for a final vote. So he affected nothing other than appeasing his own, clearly gargantuon ego, and comparing the members of his own party to Nazi-appeasing Brits for not joining him in a doomed and pointless exercise. So he made a lot of friends.
"Today, you're going to stand up and babble on as long as you can until a classmate interrupts you with a question or a recipe or whatever. The rules of the Senate fillabuster are pretty easy: you have to keep standing and you have to keep talking unless a colleague comes to help you out with a question. You can't sit down then, either, but you can get a glass of water. You also can't leave the room for any reason."
He sat down. "Okay then. Fillibuster away!"
Sign in [9/26]
Re: Sign in [9/26]
Re: Sign in [9/26]
Re: Sign in [9/26]
Listen to the lecture [9/26]
Fillbuster!
Re: Fillbuster!
Her filibuster started with an explanation of how to semi-permanently dye your hair, followed by an in-depth description of the deinonychus of the 87th century, and finally concluded, as she chugged the better part of a water bottle, with a critical analysis of a Robin Thicke song.
Re: Fillbuster!
Talk to Josh!
OOC