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fandomhigh2013-07-11 09:56 am
professor-lyman.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2013-07-11 09:56 am
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Practical Etiquette [Thursday, July 11, 2013, 2nd period]
Josh's class was meeting in the Danger Room, which today had been programmed to look like the Dupont Circle North Washington DC Metro station. Busy commuters in suits, groups of teenagers in matching t-shirts and tourists looking lost streamed past them as they gathered off to the side of an escalator that was out of service.
"Good morning, people," Josh said, finishing his to-go cup of coffee and tossing it into the trash can before noticing Mordin Solusif he's there, "--and others," he tacked on, blinking rapidly. "I'm Josh Lyman, that's your TA Lex Luthor," he said, pointing Lex out, "and this is practical etiquette. Today we will go from here--Dupont Circle--to Capitol Hill without killing anyone." He shook his head. "It's tougher than it looks. You'll face broken escalators, tourists who have no idea where they are going, and far too many people in a subway car with a broken air conditioning unit."
He ticked off points on his fingers. "A few rules to know: you stand on the right of the escalators--provided they're working, of course--and walk to the left. You let people off of the cars before you cram on and move to the center. You don't put your bags on a seat if there are people standing. You don't hang from the poles, nor do you use them to do pole dances. You also don't rest your butts on them--people need to hold onto them. You don't talk loudly on the cars, or play loud music, or really make eye contact if you can avoid it. You don't touch other people--again, if you can avoid it, sometimes the braking at stations can knock everyone over like bowling pins--and you can't eat or drink on the DC Metro system."
He grinned. "Right. Your assignment is to buy a ticket, go from here to Union Station and not get into any altercations with your fellow commuters. Go."
"Good morning, people," Josh said, finishing his to-go cup of coffee and tossing it into the trash can before noticing Mordin Solus
He ticked off points on his fingers. "A few rules to know: you stand on the right of the escalators--provided they're working, of course--and walk to the left. You let people off of the cars before you cram on and move to the center. You don't put your bags on a seat if there are people standing. You don't hang from the poles, nor do you use them to do pole dances. You also don't rest your butts on them--people need to hold onto them. You don't talk loudly on the cars, or play loud music, or really make eye contact if you can avoid it. You don't touch other people--again, if you can avoid it, sometimes the braking at stations can knock everyone over like bowling pins--and you can't eat or drink on the DC Metro system."
He grinned. "Right. Your assignment is to buy a ticket, go from here to Union Station and not get into any altercations with your fellow commuters. Go."
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Listen to the instructions!
Take the Metro!
Or not. Some of these people are really obnoxious.
Alec Lightwood: Tourists have stopped at the bottom of the escalator to stare at the ceiling like they've never seen a ceiling before. You're about to be squished into them because the escalator isn't stopping.
Alex Aaron: The guy in the seat you're sharing with him is singing along to "We Didn't Start the Fire." Badly.
Alexandra Jones: The person in front of you at the ticket machine has a really wrinkly one dollar bill that isn't being accepted. They keep trying anyway.
Bay Kennish: There's a clueless person standing on the left side of the escalator while a line full of increasingly irate federal employees stack up behind her.
Emily Thorne: There's a person drinking coffee while waiting for the train to arrive. That's illegal on the DC Metro.
Jim Kirk: A teenager is swinging from the pole in the subway car, almost hitting a little old lady in the head.
Marasiah Fel: A massively pregnant woman gets onto your crowded Metro car and no one is getting out of their seat for her.
Mercy Thompson: Five tourists are holding an Incredibly Loud Conversation on the car you're in. Now everyone knows they are going to the Air & Space Musuem...which isn't on this Metro line. Do you help them out?
Mordin Solus: People are staring Very Rudely at you.
Shira: You're late for meeting the rest of the class at Union Station and the train that arrives for you is jammed full of people and the screen says the next train to arrive doesn't come for another 4 minutes. What do you do next?
Surreal SaDiablo: The woman next to you won't. stop. poking. you. with her handbag.
William Murdoch: A man and his giant wheely bag are hogging up an entire two person seat on the train. Ask him to move it.
Re: Take the Metro!
Instead, he moved closer to the older lady and stood practically in front of her, as almost a shield of a sort so when the teenager came swinging around again, Jim glared menacingly at him as a warning to knock it off or he would clock the kid in the head.
But, it was a polite glare. Sort of.
Re: Take the Metro!
And immediately wished she hadn't when they began fighting over whose fault it was that they'd gotten on the wrong line.
Her poor ears!
Re: Take the Metro!
"Excuse me," Alec called loudly when he was about eight escalator steps from the bottom. "Could you just-- excuse me?"
He made a gesture with his hands to indicate shooing them away. They remained where they were, though, so when Alec got to the bottom, he felt it was okay to shove past one of them with considerable Shadowhunter force behind it.
Re: Take the Metro!
When the woman did not stop the poking, Surreal's glare was a bit more strident. "Stop. Or I'll scream that you're a thief and trying to pick my pocket or a pervert trying to feel me up."
The woman? Moved.
Re: Take the Metro!
Then she realized grumbling behind her was getting louder and louder, and the escalator was long, and she was going to miss her train, and really, how long was that woman going to just stand there?
She coughed, loudly, and said "Excuse me," to no effect. Finally she just barged on past, elbowing the person blocking her way to the side.
When she looked back, the left-side-stander was still standing -- albeit now on the right -- and now she was glaring at her. So she kind of suspected she'd failed the politeness part. But hey, at least the woman wasn't blocking everyone else's way anymore.
Re: Take the Metro!
He would approach and attempt to diffuse, but Lyman had warned not to make eye contact. Must be a rudeness thing.
So, eyes roaming to avoid meeting theirs, he leaned over and chirped to the nearest one with long hair, "Hello. Mordin Solus. Salarian. Willing to answer questions about my species. Perhaps would clear up some nervousness. Knowledge key to acceptance."
"Back off, lizard," a taller, bulkier human threatened, shoving Mordin lightly as more of a warning than anything.
Mordin resisted a counterattack and retreated to the left side of the car, hoping he hadn't failed day one of his class.
They kept staring, but with a little more fear and menace.
Re: Take the Metro!
Finally, she tapped his shoulder. "Excuse me, sir? The machine doesn't seem to like your dollar. Time for a new one."
Perhaps not the most polite approach, but it appeared to do the trick. He grumbled and glared while searching for a new dollar, but she expected that on the Metro.
Meet Up at Union Station!
But politely!
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It took way too long.
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Alec almost never succeeded in being polite.
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For Surreal, this was progress.
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"Some humans aggressive when confronted with other species. Called me lizard. Not...strictly accurate. Cold-blooded reptiles. Warm-blooded amphibian, myself. Can see the resemblance, though."
Talk to Josh or Lex!
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OOC
You can either talk about your character's challenge in narrative or ping me down here and I'll toss an NPC at you for interaction!
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SERIOUSLY.