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fandomhigh2013-05-24 07:39 am
amthenight.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2013-05-24 07:39 am
Entry tags:
Advanced Survivalism, Friday, Period 1
Class was in the Danger Shop today, but only because Batman knew he couldn't get a bear into a classroom. No, really. He had circus connections where he could have gotten a domesticated, trained bear, but nope. The doors were just too small. So instead, the shop looked like the woods.
"Today, you're going to fight a bear," Batman announced immediately after the bell. "If you find yourself having so-called 'adventures' regularly, you'll find that there are certain criminal masterminds who enjoy animal themes. I've had to fight sharks, several varieties of big cats, wolves, apes, and, yes, bears. For this lesson, they roughly stand in for any large animal attack, although specifics will differ based on the animal. In addition to that, this is Fandom. I understand there has been at least one massive bear attack in the island's history. You should be prepared for more."
Batman wasn't saying that there would definitely be one. He just advised being prepared for literally EVERYTHING.
"A few words of advice before it comes to an actual fight," Batman said. "One: if you happen to be out in the woods in bear country, make noise. If a bear can hear you, they often won't care about you. They will usually only attack if you surprise them. Even if the bear is intent on fighting you, either because you angered them or their criminal master ordered it, noise is still an option. Speak calmly and firmly while avoiding eye contact with the bear. Unless it has technology, was mutated, or has been trained very well, the bear won't understand English, so what you say matters less than how you say it. If you can convince the bear that you mean no harm, it will often let you back away slowly."
"And yes, I said back away. Don't run. The sudden movement might startle the bear and cause it to give chase. And unless you have powers, the bear is faster than you. Many can climb trees. Most can swim."
"Your last option before fighting is to play dead," Batman said. "There are two primary positions to take; either lie down on your stomach while protecting your neck with your hands, or lie on your side in the fetal position. Either way, if you have a backpack or anything else that may act as a shield, keep it on."
"Got all that?" Batman asked. He didn't wait for any responses. "Good. Now, the fighting. Your first weapon should be bear pepper spray. If the bear is coming from a distance, you can spray a small cloud of it in front of you that the bear has to cross. If the bear is already close, spray it in the face and back away as best you can. But do NOT use the entire canister in one long shot. You may need more. Than that."
"Most of the time, the bear will be blinded and have trouble breathing to the point where it back off and leave you alone. If it doesn't and additional sprays don't end the fight, it's time to move on to full combat," Batman said.
"A bear's weak spots are the head, eyes, snout, and chest. If you've already attacked with bear spray, you've done damage to some of those soft spots already," Batman said. "But you still have to deal with a twelve foot tall animal made of muscle, fat, and claws. Ideally, you should arm yourself with another weapon. Your goal should be to ward the bear off, prove that you're too much of a pain to deal with. If you can find rocks or a branch to continue attacking its face, use that. If you have the fighting skills to get in close and attack, use that with caution. If you do have that ability, you should be able to cause the bear pain with a strike to the hind legs or to the top of the neck, just below the jawline."
"If you have super strength, don't show off. Just punch it in the face or throw it out of range and move on."
"With most animals - big cats, wolves, and the like - I'll often put the animal into a sleeper hold, climbing onto its back and restricting airflow to its lungs. Without super strength, you'll never manage that with a bear and you'll get clawed for your hassle."
"That's enough talking," Batman said, reaching into his utility belt to push a button. "I'll demonstrate my technique, then we'll see how you do." With that, bears started to approach the class.
"Today, you're going to fight a bear," Batman announced immediately after the bell. "If you find yourself having so-called 'adventures' regularly, you'll find that there are certain criminal masterminds who enjoy animal themes. I've had to fight sharks, several varieties of big cats, wolves, apes, and, yes, bears. For this lesson, they roughly stand in for any large animal attack, although specifics will differ based on the animal. In addition to that, this is Fandom. I understand there has been at least one massive bear attack in the island's history. You should be prepared for more."
Batman wasn't saying that there would definitely be one. He just advised being prepared for literally EVERYTHING.
"A few words of advice before it comes to an actual fight," Batman said. "One: if you happen to be out in the woods in bear country, make noise. If a bear can hear you, they often won't care about you. They will usually only attack if you surprise them. Even if the bear is intent on fighting you, either because you angered them or their criminal master ordered it, noise is still an option. Speak calmly and firmly while avoiding eye contact with the bear. Unless it has technology, was mutated, or has been trained very well, the bear won't understand English, so what you say matters less than how you say it. If you can convince the bear that you mean no harm, it will often let you back away slowly."
"And yes, I said back away. Don't run. The sudden movement might startle the bear and cause it to give chase. And unless you have powers, the bear is faster than you. Many can climb trees. Most can swim."
"Your last option before fighting is to play dead," Batman said. "There are two primary positions to take; either lie down on your stomach while protecting your neck with your hands, or lie on your side in the fetal position. Either way, if you have a backpack or anything else that may act as a shield, keep it on."
"Got all that?" Batman asked. He didn't wait for any responses. "Good. Now, the fighting. Your first weapon should be bear pepper spray. If the bear is coming from a distance, you can spray a small cloud of it in front of you that the bear has to cross. If the bear is already close, spray it in the face and back away as best you can. But do NOT use the entire canister in one long shot. You may need more. Than that."
"Most of the time, the bear will be blinded and have trouble breathing to the point where it back off and leave you alone. If it doesn't and additional sprays don't end the fight, it's time to move on to full combat," Batman said.
"A bear's weak spots are the head, eyes, snout, and chest. If you've already attacked with bear spray, you've done damage to some of those soft spots already," Batman said. "But you still have to deal with a twelve foot tall animal made of muscle, fat, and claws. Ideally, you should arm yourself with another weapon. Your goal should be to ward the bear off, prove that you're too much of a pain to deal with. If you can find rocks or a branch to continue attacking its face, use that. If you have the fighting skills to get in close and attack, use that with caution. If you do have that ability, you should be able to cause the bear pain with a strike to the hind legs or to the top of the neck, just below the jawline."
"If you have super strength, don't show off. Just punch it in the face or throw it out of range and move on."
"With most animals - big cats, wolves, and the like - I'll often put the animal into a sleeper hold, climbing onto its back and restricting airflow to its lungs. Without super strength, you'll never manage that with a bear and you'll get clawed for your hassle."
"That's enough talking," Batman said, reaching into his utility belt to push a button. "I'll demonstrate my technique, then we'll see how you do." With that, bears started to approach the class.
Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Gert raised her hand. "Yeah, can I get my telepathic dinosaur for this?" she asked.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
"Can I go get Naga? She's a polar bear dog as opposed to your freaky mutant bear bears."
Sure Master Katara had told her about the Earth King's pet bear, but she'd skill been skeptical about that whole business.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
"No pets. No familiars. No animal friends. No human friends outside of your classmates," Batman said. He had a feeling this might be a recurring theme today. "Just you and whatever you can find in this shop right now."
Look he was even implying that they could use the table the bear spray was on. Or they could cause an explosion by piercing the pressurized spray can. Wasn't that enough? Kids today.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Her training did not include how to fight bears.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Zapping a bear sounded a lot more appealing to Victor than trying to fight one with his fists.
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Re: Listen to the Lecture
The fact Batman was incredibly serious only added concern for Emily. Seriously??