fandomhigh | Detention, the Danger Shop, Saturday

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Detention, the Danger Shop, Saturday

It'd taken some reshuffling of schedules to get the Danger Shop at all - or plan a detention, for that matter. Still, Kaidan had gotten it eventually.

He'd always figured regular school detention (not brain camp detention) was a lot more writing of lines and sitting quietly in a room, but the people at the office had quickly disabused him of the notion. Most detention-givers at this school were apparently quote-unquote creative. Kaidan wasn't sure if he could live up to that, exactly, but he could definitely use one or two things he'd learned in bootcamp around here.

Which meant, sorry, Cade and Sparkle, you were going to arrive to a room set up as a military obstacle course. Arranged in a circle. Oh dear.

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Don't tempt him, Kaidan. Sparkle was half considering taking a second detention just to fuck with your weekends from here on in.

"... Better grab the hose."

... Kaidan was a professional marine. Don't you try him, Sparkle. He'd be here every weekend, making up new ways to make your weekends hell.

"All right," Kaidan said, turning around to go grab that hose.

If nothing else, at least Sparkle would be very good at playing keepaway from the cops once he graduated and went back to Toronto?

For the time being, he was going to just settle for making faces at the back of Kaidan's head.

Kaidan picked up the hose - which, contrary to its name, looked less like riot gear than some bizarre computer apparatus, which it was. Danger Shop mud wasn't really mud, after all.

"If you don't stop that, I'm making you go another round."

He didn't need to turn around for that, no.

"I might die," Sparkle shared. "I might find myself face-first in the mud under that netting again and my arms'll give out and I'll just stay that way and die."

In the Danger Shop. Yes. Because that was likely.

"Oh, you'll live," Kaidan said dryly, walking back towards him with the 'hose' in hand. "Besides, if you get stuck in the mud, I'll just lift you out. Maybe floating around will knock some sense back into you. I mean, seriously, a camel? What did you think was going to happen?"

"... We'd have a camel?"

Sparkle and sense were not actually acquainted, no.

"You were never going to get away with the camel."

Seriously, Sparkle.

"But it would've been awesome if we had." Sparkle liked to dream big! "He would've been totally at home in the stable."

He didn't even want the stupid camel. It was totally the principle of the matter, at this point.

"It's an animal who needs an arid habitat," Kaidan said. "And... seriously. On a boat?"

He flipped the switch on his device. The virtual 'hosing' was going to be unpleasant, but thorough. And dry.

"Well, it's not like we could just portal him back. And there's plenty of beach here, how different is that from where he was back in Turkey?"

On a beach!

"... Fuck that thing's weird."

Sparkle was so hosed.

"Turkey's arid," Kaidan repeated succinctly. "Fandom's not."

"Neither's Toronto, but they have whole shitloads of 'em at the zoo."

With zookeepers. Who knew how to properly take care of camels. Yep.

"One, you are not a zookeeper," Kaidan pointed out. And here he'd been getting around to accepting that teaching teenagers wasn't that bad. Thanks, Sparkle. You were setting him back by months. "Two, this is not a discussion! No camels!"

"No camels," Sparkle grumbled. "It's not like I'm running back to try again or anything."

A beat.

"What about a tiger?"

Now he was just shit-stirring.

"I'm a little surprised you didn't go with elephant."

When Kaidan tried to keep his temper in check, sarcasm usually ensued.

"Didn't want to think about the poop-scoop duty with an elephant," Sparkle replied. And so help him, he was grinning.

What? He and sarcasm were best pals! Finally, Kaidan was talking to him in a language he could comprehend.

"I don't know," Kaidan said. "Aren't they supposed to use that stuff to make buildings?"

... and that was just the being distractable. He sighed. "Just try keeping your animals under two feet from now on, all right?"

Sparkle considered this for a moment, and then perked up.

"Does that mean I can keep a badger?"

What?

"Sure," Kaidan said. "I hear those are really tolerant of humans' personal stuff."

"I babysat a badger once," Sparkle shared. "One of the students turned into one," and a puppy, and a deer, "for a few weeks. It was pretty sweet."

No, Zeela had spent the whole time terrorizing the hell out of him. But Sparkle and the truth... Ahahah no.

"Can't say I've ever seen a badger as a pet before--"

Kaidan. Kaidan. Back to the world, please.

"...anyway," he said, "You're free to go. Now I just have to hose down your fri--"

Wait, where had Cade gone?

Clearly he'd stomped off to write about Kaidan's ass on the men's room mirror in weird fake mud!

"Until next time," Sparkle laughed, giving a dismissive wave of his hand as he headed for the exist. "No more camels."

Maybe a monkey!

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Detention, the Danger Shop, Saturday

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